New Term To me.... - Big Big Forums

belle5691 · 10-13-2009, 10:13 AM

This year my sophomore son had started out the school year wonderfully. Up early, getting ready, and ready to go. I was really proud and excited for him. Then slowly it started going back to where he didnt want to get up and go. Today I found out why, after a big hassle this morning.....

At his high school, they call it bean dipping......

Someone runs up, and cups your breast.....and he's being the subject of it. He had some problems last year because of some bad decisions he made, but he paid for them, including being harrassed, touched, kicked, etc. He was not rude or provoking the incidents (Verified by teachers, principals and police). It only stopped once I filed charges. But now, a different kid is doing it to him, and I am frustrated beyond words this morning. Trying to get myself together before I go to the school today and start all over again this year. Not sure where to start...principal, counselor, or police again....Just had to vent.

pepperpot · 10-13-2009, 10:23 AM

s kids are cruel and stink....

freeby4me · 10-13-2009, 10:27 AM

Wow I am sorry, I've never heard of this before. I would start with the Principle, they can include the counselor and the police if need be. No one should have to put up with that at school, it should be a safe place for your son to learn.

Licchl05 · 10-13-2009, 10:36 AM

WTH, it only stopped once you filed charges? That's absurd! He's in school and the staff should be protecting your son! I'm so sorry this is happening to him!

belle5691 · 10-13-2009, 10:42 AM

Thank you all for the support. It really means a lot. Last year when it was going on, I went to the principal several times and nothing happened except he had both boys sign a no contact contract where if either of them touched or spoke to the other one, they would BOTH be suspended. When he was still touched after that, but it couldnt be proven as the principal said, I went to the school police resource officer who was awesome. He had a "helper" who started discreetly following Josh to his classes and stopping this stuff, and finding witnesses to verify what was happening. Most of the witnesses asked also to have their names withheld because they were afraid of the same thing happening to them! In fact, the principal at one time told me to NOT talk to the police officer without letting him deal with it first. When I told the officer that I was told that, he became angry and said that he wanted to know because there were too many kids being harrassed, and it was time that the kid that did the harrassing were out of school instead of the others choosing to leave the school, which we were considering for Josh, not due to the school or teachers, but due to the harrassment.

And my son isn't popular by any means, but he is well liked by most. I meet graduates of the school every day who ask if he is my son, and say hi to him, or say they remember him from school, etc.

Licchl05 · 10-13-2009, 10:46 AM

Wow...I'd be going to the superintendant about the principals behavior, sounds to me like he's covering something up or protecting those little chits.

belle5691 · 10-13-2009, 10:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Licchl05

Wow...I'd be going to the superintendant about the principals behavior, sounds to me like he's covering something up or protecting those little chits.

Yup, we live in a snooty suburb of Kansas City. We moved here when I was working and making more money than I am now, but we still live in an apartment. We have to live near DH's doctors here, but I refuse to move to other parts of the city where you have to worry about drive-by's etc. all the time. We moved from our last suburb when the neighbor in our building threw his girlfriend out the window, and then a week later our car was vandalized. We had lived there 3 years, and was great when we moved in, then the management quit doing background checks before new tenants moved in. :-(

My best friend, (Male), is going to go in with me today to deal with this....DH is unable to go, and our friend is Josh's guardian when we aren't able to be there, so waiting on him to get here and we go deal with it.

Licchl05 · 10-13-2009, 10:54 AM

I hope you guys get it all resolved so your son can go back to liking school again. Have you spoken with the other kids parents about the situation?

belle5691 · 10-13-2009, 11:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Licchl05

I hope you guys get it all resolved so your son can go back to liking school again. Have you spoken with the other kids parents about the situation?

Not yet....Just found out about it this morning. Last year, the other kids parents weren't too concerned (my son had bought suspected stolen property from one of them, then the kid who sold it to my son, had one of his friends steal it back). Son got in trouble BIG trouble for buying it, he had to tell the police he did....Got talked to by police, and police only protected him from being physically harrassed. So, I know you shouldnt judge all parents by the set of 3 I dealt with last year, but Im so gun shy, that unfortunately right now, I am thinking Im going to get the same response from this parent. Sometimes, I think that he is 16 now (Sunday) and I should let him work it out, but I just don't want the physical and I consider it sexual harrassment when those body parts are touched....

Licchl05 · 10-13-2009, 11:10 AM

I agree that is sexual harrassment! I for one would be so mad if my son was on either end of a situation like yours. Hopefully this boys parents are concerned and actually care what type of child they raise and will do something about it!

tunisia · 10-13-2009, 11:39 AM

I'm sure it would sure be different if this same bully touched a girl's breast! We have zero tolerance on so many things, this should be one of them.

If that poor little boy scout who was so proud of getting that gift of a camping silverware set that included a little pocket knife could get suspended(at the age of less than 10) for a 'zero tolerance' policy on 'weapons', then this should also get the same zero tolerance seal.

I thought that kids weren't allowed to even hug each other now in school as a sign of greeting??

We have our priorities so mixed up this day and age. Makes me glad I don't have kids.

I feel so for your son. Teen years are so hard as it is with self-esteem, peer-pressure issues, then to have this! Keep us posted.