what on earth...CONFUSED!!! - Big Big Forums

Licchl05 · 10-09-2009, 12:47 PM

Today when I checked my facebook page my daughters father, whom I haven't spoken to in over 2 years and has never seen his daughter in person, sent me a request. I accepted it now I'm sitting here wondering what the hell...should I ask him what his intentions are or wait on him to contact me...I'm angry too because for years his step mother has known how to get ahold of me and I haven't heard from him, as well as one of his best friends girlfriends has me as a friend on myspace as well as MSN messenger, and no contact at all. Never asking for pictures, how she is, child support hasn't been received since Dec of 2007....advice please???

pepperpot · 10-09-2009, 12:56 PM

I'm not sure why you accepted his 'friend request'....

Licchl05 · 10-09-2009, 12:57 PM

curiosity i suppose

jasmine · 10-09-2009, 01:19 PM

sit and wait I guess?

The_Kinzzy · 10-09-2009, 01:46 PM

Why give him curiosity now? I would write him and see why he sent you the friend request now and not way before since he knew how to contact you.

krisharry · 10-09-2009, 02:04 PM

You have a daughter together that he has never seen and he is almost 2 years behind in child support payments? What was the request? To forgive him for being a complete douche? Sorry but I would be ignoring his request and forwarding his facebook info to my attorney and whatever state agency is in charge of collecting from deadbeat parents.

Airbuswife · 10-09-2009, 02:11 PM

now that you know how to contact him, i'd sue his arse for back child support!

Licchl05 · 10-09-2009, 02:22 PM

I've known how to contact him, and I've tried to get the states to get me the support I'm owed, which is over 10K. It's crappy because PA can't do anything because he's in AZ which is where the order was made(I'm still confused on why her and I reside in PA I filed in PA but AZ placed the judgement because he lives there???).

I have no idea what he wants, at all. Last time he tried to walk back into our lives 2 years ago it was the 'i love you both i want to be a family' the usual BS that men spit at women thinking we'll fall for it. I told him to prove it get his act together and come out here...yeah we see where that ended up.

I accepted the request but I blocked him from viewing ANY pictures of Chloe on there(so love that feature of allowing someone to see your page and talk with you but they can't see your pictures), and I messaged him asking him what he wants.

Chloe knows of him as I told her she has a daddy she's never seen and it's who put her in my belly. I don't know if I should allow contact with her if he requests it...Part of me wants her to have a relationship with him as he is her father, but the other part of me knows he's a juicebox and will come in and out of her life causing her pain that she does not need. Strangely enough I feel I owe it to Chloe to at the very least find out what the hell he wants.

krisharry · 10-09-2009, 02:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Licchl05

I've known how to contact him, and I've tried to get the states to get me the support I'm owed, which is over 10K. It's crappy because PA can't do anything because he's in AZ which is where the order was made(I'm still confused on why her and I reside in PA I filed in PA but AZ placed the judgement because he lives there???).

I have no idea what he wants, at all. Last time he tried to walk back into our lives 2 years ago it was the 'i love you both i want to be a family' the usual BS that men spit at women thinking we'll fall for it. I told him to prove it get his act together and come out here...yeah we see where that ended up.

I accepted the request but I blocked him from viewing ANY pictures of Chloe on there(so love that feature of allowing someone to see your page and talk with you but they can't see your pictures), and I messaged him asking him what he wants.

Chloe knows of him as I told her she has a daddy she's never seen and it's who put her in my belly. I don't know if I should allow contact with her if he requests it...Part of me wants her to have a relationship with him as he is her father, but the other part of me knows he's a juicebox and will come in and out of her life causing her pain that she does not need. Strangely enough I feel I owe it to Chloe to at the very least find out what the hell he wants.

I would further contact PA child support. DH and I own a small business here in Charlotte and I had an employee who was living in NC at the time but the PA court ordered support(that is where mother and child were living) and I got a notification w/in a few weeks to start garnishing wages and sending to PA child support enforcement. They should be able to help you even if the father is working and residing in a different state.

Licchl05 · 10-09-2009, 02:38 PM

I've tried that, PA tells me that they have no jurisdiction because AZ is who created the order, which makes no sense as I filed in PA Chloe's always lived in PA, but AZ did the order. At times I wish that the feds would take over the child support issue due to so many cases, like mine, falling through the cracks, but the feds can't even get cash for clunkers right let alone child support!

Edited to add...I've also contacted AZ, who refers me back to PA...it's so frustrating!

krisharry · 10-09-2009, 02:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Licchl05

I've tried that, PA tells me that they have no jurisdiction because AZ is who created the order, which makes no sense as I filed in PA Chloe's always lived in PA, but AZ did the order. At times I wish that the feds would take over the child support issue due to so many cases, like mine, falling through the cracks, but the feds can't even get cash for clunkers right let alone child support!

Edited to add...I've also contacted AZ, who refers me back to PA...it's so frustrating!

Confused, but trying to help so bear w/me. LOL Did you take the dad to court for support? If so, what state court issued the child support order? That is the state you need to contact to have the order enforced. If a court has issued an order for support, that state court would have to initiate garnishment, etc. from employers. Don't let him get away w/it, keep going until you can get some answers bec. it sounds like someone along the line is not doing their job.