what on earth...CONFUSED!!! - Page 2 - Big Big Forums

Licchl05 · 10-09-2009, 02:53 PM

It is confusing, it confuses me!
In jan/feb of 2007 I went to my local court house here in PA to file for support. Since her dad lives in AZ they said they had to send something to the courts there to find him since I wasn't 100% sure if he was still at his dad's house. They found him and I believe it was in Aug of 2007 we went to have the DNA test done(he was telling his family she wasn't his but all that time he was saying he loved us blah blah). DNA came back in Oct 2007 and AZ entered an order for support, with back support from the time she was born. Nov and Dec 2007 I got payments, since then nada. No contact from him, nothing.

I've contacted PA they say there's nothing they can do because AZ placed the order. Called AZ and got some rude beezies who said they can't help me because I dont live in AZ. I got pissed and contacted the Attorney General in AZ, who seemed at the time like she was going to do something but didn't do a damn thing. It's appalling!

Jenefer3 · 10-09-2009, 03:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Licchl05

Today when I checked my facebook page my daughters father, whom I haven't spoken to in over 2 years and has never seen his daughter in person, sent me a request. I accepted it now I'm sitting here wondering what the hell...should I ask him what his intentions are or wait on him to contact me...I'm angry too because for years his step mother has known how to get ahold of me and I haven't heard from him, as well as one of his best friends girlfriends has me as a friend on myspace as well as MSN messenger, and no contact at all. Never asking for pictures, how she is, child support hasn't been received since Dec of 2007....advice please???

I wouldn't have accepted the friend request. My son's dad has wanted me to add him and I deny it every time, he doesn't need to be my "friend"

I'm confused on something though. In a thread of yours you said you were putting Chloe in dance or gymnastics and and another thread you said you couldn't afford a lawyer to help with your son and when I brought up that you were payng for dance/gymnastics lessons, you said those were being paid for by Chloe's child support, but in this post you say that child support hasn't been paid for Chloe since 2007.

Licchl05 · 10-09-2009, 03:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jenefer3

I wouldn't have accepted the friend request. My son's dad has wanted me to add him and I deny it every time, he doesn't need to be my "friend"

I'm confused on something though. In a thread of yours you said you were putting Chloe in dance or gymnastics and and another thread you said you couldn't afford a lawyer to help with your son and when I brought up that you were payng for dance/gymnastics lessons, you said those were being paid for by Chloe's child support, but in this post you say that child support hasn't been paid for Chlose since 2007.

When I spoke with her father's step mother they said they would send $ for Chloe, this was in August. I haven't gotten it, so she's not enrolled in dance or gymnastics.

krisharry · 10-09-2009, 03:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Licchl05

It is confusing, it confuses me!
In jan/feb of 2007 I went to my local court house here in PA to file for support. Since her dad lives in AZ they said they had to send something to the courts there to find him since I wasn't 100% sure if he was still at his dad's house. They found him and I believe it was in Aug of 2007 we went to have the DNA test done(he was telling his family she wasn't his but all that time he was saying he loved us blah blah). DNA came back in Oct 2007 and AZ entered an order for support, with back support from the time she was born. Nov and Dec 2007 I got payments, since then nada. No contact from him, nothing.

I've contacted PA they say there's nothing they can do because AZ placed the order. Called AZ and got some rude beezies who said they can't help me because I dont live in AZ. I got pissed and contacted the Attorney General in AZ, who seemed at the time like she was going to do something but didn't do a damn thing. It's appalling!

OK, so there is a court order for support issued by AZ? Do you have a copy of it? Start writing letters w/copy of it and sending certified mail. Or maybe a lawyer in AZ would be willing to take on the case for you? Just a thought. Do you know who his employer is? If so, report them to the state of AZ and have AZ issue a garnishment order if possible in that state. Contact the IRS and find out what you can do to get your backsupport out of his next tax return. Good luck bec. the whole situation really bites.

Licchl05 · 10-09-2009, 03:28 PM

OMG LOL this gets better i told him "You can do as you wish, she knows of you. I told her she has a daddy named keith who put her in my belly. She doesn't really ask any more of that. If you're going to attempt to be in her life, please don't run in and out...if you're going to play a role play it for good, not just run in and out when it's convenient for you...she deserves better than that. A nice start for you to do right by her would be to do as the courts ordered and support her like I have been for the past 4 1/2 years of her life, you sent TWO payments and decided the hell with her, she's a child not something you can throw away when you don't want it anymore. If you can handle the responsibility I will not stop you, but this is a last chance Keith, if you close the door I will not even visit the idea of reopening it for you" because he asked if he could send her things or if i wanted him to stay out of her life.

he just responded to me saying this..
"I havent been paying because I havent wanted to. I havent been working and I just got out of the hospital. I have been having flashbacks and been seriously depressed, my right knee and ankle are all messed up. So they may be putting me on SSI because im unfit for wor with PTSD and serious depression. So if they put me on it I can pay I wont have much money to travel but I can pay an send her things with your permission."

Oh lord what can of worms did i open?

krisharry · 10-09-2009, 03:32 PM

I would have all contact w/him only thru the courts or an attorney. By continuing on w/him, you are only going to add to the drama.

gmyers · 10-09-2009, 04:48 PM

Its a sad thing when a child is better off if a deadbeat dad dies than if he's alive. At least that way the child gets social security and medicare off him. I wish he would man up and see her and start to help you with child support.

dinosmom · 10-09-2009, 07:30 PM

Your story is kinda similar to mine. Mine has a happy ending-so far! My DS's father didnt have hardly any contact with him and NO contact with him for the past 2 yrs after he moved out of state. Didnt pay child support either. He was severely injured at work-that caused not only health issues but mental issues. I gave up on him ever being a father. Out of the blue late last yr he contacts us, starts sending gifts and money and then moves back to the area. He now has a job, has taken responsibility and is taken care of my DS's health insurance, sends regular child support and sees my DS every other weekend if not more. He is also starting to pay me the back child support he owes!!!!! While he still makes my skin crawl, I do see him really trying to make an effort to be a father-even after all of these yrs. We are Facebook "friends" too (although I do limit what he can see).

Maybe try and make a small effort and see if that leads to him taking more responsibility. He could really want to get back into your DD's life. I really hope that is the case!!!!

DreamWarrior · 10-10-2009, 08:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Licchl05

I've tried that, PA tells me that they have no jurisdiction because AZ is who created the order, which makes no sense as I filed in PA Chloe's always lived in PA, but AZ did the order. At times I wish that the feds would take over the child support issue due to so many cases, like mine, falling through the cracks, but the feds can't even get cash for clunkers right let alone child support!

Edited to add...I've also contacted AZ, who refers me back to PA...it's so frustrating!

Ok, this is just a case of 2 states being VERY lazy about support! You know the situation between me and my ex... well the state of MO called me and wanted my case number from IA so they could get the info released to them...so dont let them BS you about jurisdiction...

the federal law has done something about support, thats why my case got moved to Mo from Ia.... I'm not sure what Obama has done, but if I can get the support for my kids that they deserve, Thank you!!!!

jasmine · 10-11-2009, 01:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DreamWarrior

I'm not sure what Obama has done, but if I can get the support for my kids that they deserve, Thank you!!!!

what does obama have to do with your child support?

Renrut · 10-11-2009, 02:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Licchl05

I've tried that, PA tells me that they have no jurisdiction because AZ is who created the order, which makes no sense as I filed in PA Chloe's always lived in PA, but AZ did the order. At times I wish that the feds would take over the child support issue due to so many cases, like mine, falling through the cracks, but the feds can't even get cash for clunkers right let alone child support!

Edited to add...I've also contacted AZ, who refers me back to PA...it's so frustrating!

SOmeone isn't telling you right. My court order is in VA. When I moved to PA. PA took over. Now that I am back in Wisconsin, WI took over. Call down there and talk to a supervisor because PA did it when I lived there.