Oh my god - Big Big Forums

Licchl05 · 09-15-2009, 10:29 AM

this is going to be long and i hope it makes sense im shaking im so freaking mad!!!!!

I'm beyond p!ssed right now!!!!!!! in july i signed papers the ex husband wanted me to sign so i could get my son for the month of aug. the papers he told me would make it so we'd have a 1 yr agreement inwhich our son would stay in NJ with him....long story about why he went with the ex but to make it short when i kicked him out i was working 230-11 my son needed therapy for ADHD and ODD(i wanted to do that instead of meds) and i couldn't do the therapy working those hours so he took our son to NJ and our son stayed at my ex's father and step mom's house while the ex was at his mother and step fathers. for 15 months my son was with his grandfather NOT his father, which was fine by me i knew he was well taken care of. in april of 2009 the ex and his witch of a baby mama(he got her knocked up after 6 weeks) decided to rip my son out of his grandparents house and move him in with them...with SIX weeks of school left!!! anyways the papers we both signed, which he told me his lawyer came up with, stated i got him july 29th 2009 until aug 27th 2009 then he'd go bk to NJ until dec 23rd when i'd get him for xmas break until jan 2 2010. then i would have him for 6 weeks in the summer of 2010. these papers HAD to be signed according to the ex or i was NOT allowed to take my son out of NJ and bring him back to pittsburgh with me for the month. it was only a 1 year agreement so i said okay fine, gives me time to save for an attorney to take his arse for sole custody...the gf has hit my son with a belt denied him food they hardly let him bathe...etc. at the time i was working full time making over $15 an hour so i didn't qualify for legal aid and a retainer for a lawyer was 3k and if it went to court then that would be another 5-10k...so i needed to save and this agreement was going to give me 12 mo to do so. the ex told me in july that since i signed these papers the hearing we had for sept wasn't needed....WELL I JUST GOT A FREAKING CALL FROM THE DAMN COURTS IN NJ ASKING ME WHY I DIDN'T SHOW.......ARE YOU FLIPPIN SERIOUS?? i told the lady that we signed papers on 7/29/09 and began to read them to her...she told me the ex backed out per advice from HIS LAWYER....THE SAME FREAKING LAWYER HE CLAIMS CAME UP WITH THE PAPERS?!?!!!?!?!? im so freaking mad right now i swear i could shoot lazers from my eyes and fire from my mouth!!!!!!!! he never told me that he decided against the agreement that HE pushed for and DEMANDED that i sign!!!!! i guess he thought that since he didn't tell me and if i didn't show he'd get sole custody....WELL HE WAS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO WRONG!!! the court is calling me in an hour to do a 3 way conference call for mediation....IM IN SHOCK I CAN'T BELIEVE HE FREAKING HAD THE GALL TO DO THIS!!!!!!!!

freeby4me · 09-15-2009, 10:36 AM

Wow, just wow. I so hope that you can do something, I have no clue what though. Fight fight fight, thats all I can say.

I wish you the absolute best and you will be in my thoughts, Im so sorry this is happening.

xsweetestx · 09-15-2009, 11:05 AM

GL Girl...My X did something like this to me and I knew better but wanted to believe his rotten butt so in the end it come out he had lied and he lost...

Jenefer3 · 09-15-2009, 11:44 AM

If they're denying him food, the ability to bathe, hitting him with a belt, and whatever else, then you need to do something about that besides waiting to save up money for a lawyer. You need to get someone else involved, whether it's the authorities or child services.

You said in another post that you were going to spend $35 to do dance or gymnastics, or both for your daughter. I'm not saying that your daughter shouldn't be able to do those things, but if your son is in such a bad situation, wouldn't that money be better spent going towards the lawyer?

iluvmybaby · 09-15-2009, 11:46 AM

Hire a lawyer.

gonnascream · 09-15-2009, 11:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Licchl05

t the gf has hit my son with a belt denied him food they hardly let him bathe...etc.

Ummm, But why the F*CK did you let him go up there?? Job or no job, I would NEVER let my child be subject to that. Sorry, but all the therapy in the world will not help him if he's being abused.

Licchl05 · 09-15-2009, 12:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gonnascream

Ummm, But why the F*CK did you let him go up there?? Job or no job, I would NEVER let my child be subject to that. Sorry, but all the therapy in the world will not help him if he's being abused.

Because to be honest i don't know exactly what to believe, my son is a typical 8 yr old who tells boogie man stories. this is what i've been told...he stated she hit him once with the belt. as for him totally being denied food im not sure the exent of that either, my son is overweight so he's not starving but i don't think they give him enough to fulfill his hunger either...i guess (keep in mind this is out of the mouth of an 8 yr old) that afterschool no snacks or nothing until dinner...and i do know for a fact sometimes dinner isn't until after 7 pm, once i was on the phone with my son at like 9 and they were just getting ready to eat! my son also told me that they don't let him go outside to play because of mosquitos..umm in the middle of the day???

it's not as easy as you think i can't just go get him as im in another state. trust me i've thought of doing that but i can end up in jail and lose BOTH of my kids, forever, because of kidnapping charges, and what would that solve? absolutely nothing!

As for the classes for chloe, those are being paid by her child support...i can't take support for her and put it for my son, it's not what it's for. furthermore i do now qualify for legal aid, so i will be contacting them this afternoon.

i let him go out there because at the time my son was with his GRANDPARENTS as i could not do the therapy with him due to my working hours, which i could not change. when the ex took him from the grandparents he had already lived in NJ for longer than 6 mo thus giving NJ jurisdiction over him, if i took him i would be kidnapping. i already explained how that would end if i would have just taken him.

mabby89 · 09-15-2009, 12:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gonnascream

ummm, but why the f*ck did you let him go up there?? Job or no job, i would never let my child be subject to that. Sorry, but all the therapy in the world will not help him if he's being abused.

ita

jasmine · 09-15-2009, 01:03 PM

maybe you could contact DHS in the state/city where your son is and talk to them and let them know the story and ask if there is anything they can do to help or get you help.
I also have child support for my 2 girls from their father, which I am now re-married, and have a son, and the child support is yours, it goes for what you need to do to take care of things, electric, rent, water, food, clothes, entertainment etc... and yes, I do spend it on my son also, it is my choice where the money goes.

Jenefer3 · 09-15-2009, 01:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Licchl05

Because to be honest i don't know exactly what to believe, my son is a typical 8 yr old who tells boogie man stories. this is what i've been told...he stated she hit him once with the belt. as for him totally being denied food im not sure the exent of that either, my son is overweight so he's not starving but i don't think they give him enough to fulfill his hunger either...i guess (keep in mind this is out of the mouth of an 8 yr old) that afterschool no snacks or nothing until dinner...and i do know for a fact sometimes dinner isn't until after 7 pm, once i was on the phone with my son at like 9 and they were just getting ready to eat! my son also told me that they don't let him go outside to play because of mosquitos..umm in the middle of the day???

it's not as easy as you think i can't just go get him as im in another state. trust me i've thought of doing that but i can end up in jail and lose BOTH of my kids, forever, because of kidnapping charges, and what would that solve? absolutely nothing!

As for the classes for chloe, those are being paid by her child support...i can't take support for her and put it for my son, it's not what it's for. furthermore i do now qualify for legal aid, so i will be contacting them this afternoon.

i let him go out there because at the time my son was with his GRANDPARENTS as i could not do the therapy with him due to my working hours, which i could not change. when the ex took him from the grandparents he had already lived in NJ for longer than 6 mo thus giving NJ jurisdiction over him, if i took him i would be kidnapping. i already explained how that would end if i would have just taken him.

In your original post, you made it seem like things were really bad for him then you changed it and said you weren't sure, so I guess I'm confused. If you aren't sure if your 8 year old is telling the truth, then you still need to have child services check things out. You owe that to your child.

Licchl05 · 09-15-2009, 01:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jenefer3

In your original post, you made it seem like things were really bad for him then you changed it and said you weren't sure, so I guess I'm confused. If you aren't sure if your 8 year old is telling the truth, then you still need to have child services check things out. You owe that to your child.

Honestly at this point im not sure which side is up or down. What i do know is this; i just got off the phone with the ex and the mediator. i told the mediator that i have been refused all drs info, which i wanted written that i am to have as well as school info. i also had him write in it that no medical decisions, unless emergency, are to be done without my consent...i think the ex and his gf want to medicate my son for ADHD/ODD to which i think he's outgrown. the other stuff that was changed was really dumb, for instance next year i was supposed to have my son when school let out in june until the end of july, instead i get him mid july until end of aug(which gives me his birthday next year).

What i plan to do once i get the information is call the pediatrican and the school. talk to them about what they see/hear. ask the school to have a counseler talk to my son about everything, the divorce, being away from his sister and i, living with his dad the gf her 2 kids and the baby, etc.

Reports to CYS or any agency like that shouldn't be taken lightly nor reported hastefully. I want my son to speak with a trained professional to get to the bottom of what goes on in the home and how he feels about everything. Going in guns a blazin will make me look foolish, i know that IF my son has told me the absolute truth about it then maybe i should have blazed them, but at this point i honestly have no idea and i do not want to turn his poor world inside out if it's nothing at all.

We each protect our children how we see best fit, and at this juncture i think speaking with a licensed counselor is the path needed to be taken. If anyone can get to the bottom of something it would be them as my son wouldn't dare speak anything negative about the home with the ex and the gf around, which is how it would be if CYS were called.