shadowcats

what ever you mail or send to the school or courts there send it certified mail get a signiture , that way they cant say it didnt come there,,,,,,,,, or they didnt recieve it............ and keep these return reciept cards..........

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my son joshua when he was 18 now deceased in 2002 , always remembered always loved

loris520

I am trying hard to put myself in your situation and I just can't imagine my son telling me those things and me sleeping at night. I understand that there is alot of stuff going on but I would not sit back and take it my butt would be on a greyhound bus in NJ in a minute standing outside his house.


Hopefully tomorrow you can get the help you need. I wouldn't hang up until I did.

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Handle every stressful situation like a dog.

Piss on it and walk away.

justme23

Wow... I feel sorry for your kid. My dad beat the crap out of me and NO ONE went in "guns a blazin"... how sad that you are unwilling to let anyone investigate for that defensless child. Honestly, it doesn't sound to me like either one of you should have him.

Come on, everybody yell at me now!

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Lord, keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth.

An 'eye for an eye' leaves the whole world blind. -Mahatma Gandhi

Licchl05

Clearly you do not read. I've stated that I will be asking the school to do their part to speak with my child about his home life. I also stated that I do not want to call CYS because I fear the fact that the girlfriend would take it out on my son. IDGAF if you don't agree with the way I see that this situation should be handled, as you have a right to disagree with how I'm going about it, but how freaking dare you say I don't want to help him nor do i deserve to have him. It's completely IMPOSSIBLE for me to explain every single detail here as to what all has transpired, what i've been told by the ex's own family about how my son is the third wheel and punished unjustly when one of the girlfriends kids does something and blames it on my son...i could go on and on but truthfully i could be here for days!

The fact remains that even if I or someone else called CYS they would speak to my child with either the ex or the gf present, or atleast in the same home....my son would NEVER say anything is wrong if faced with that situation, which is why it's best that a school counselor speaks with him to get to the bottom of it. I've tried to talk to my child, and they're either all up in his ear, or he's too afraid that I'm going to run back and tell his father what he's said(this happened after i confronted the ex about the belt thing).

I do know that my son is extremely confused and felt caught in the middle. When he was home in August he was extremely happy and even told the neighbor boys that he 'wished he could stay here forever', but if i asked him or anyone else asked he would be wishy washy. He wants to appease everyone, he tells his dad he wants to be with him, me that he wants to be with me, his grandparents he wants to be with them...that's ALOT to be on the shoulders of an 8 year old, don't ya think??

So excuse the f'in hell out of me for wanting someone who can get into that little head of his gently to help get to the bottom of everything, the kid has been through so much, it's not worth making any huge waves right now. If I'm wrong for going this route so be it, however a conselor will help him and get to the bottom of the situation a lot quicker than some CYS caseworker who's got too many cases to pay attention to all the details!

What's to say IF CYS was involved that they would find anything that was there to be found? I'm sure you've heard the horror stories about CYS being called to homes and "finding nothing" until the child winds up hurt/dead? At least with the school assisting the CYS workers can not deny it or turn a blind eye!!

gmyers

I hope it works out for you. Its got to be hard him being in a different state and not knowing for sure whats going on. I hope if he is being mistreated you find out for sure so you can take action for him.

ElleGee

Clearly you do not care enough about your son to go forward and call cps.. If the gf takes it out on your son that right there is a good enough reason as any to call cps.. By you NOT doing a damned thing and KNOWING that it will be taken out on your son you're allowing child abuse to go on.. And that my dear is ILLEGAL and you can be wiped clear of any custody just by knowing shiz is going on and you NOT doing anything.... So Yay you.. Getting your ducks in a row while suspected abuse is going on *golf clap* You're right about one thing you don't GAF


Then your son may be lying to begin with... And if you called cps they would talk to him alone about it.... It's not the schools responsibility to get to the bottom of this.. YOU are. And obviously there is a history of this shiz and you know it.. You're just as culpable as the kids dna donor

If my 8 year old said that he is being abused don't you think that's more on his shoulders?

No there is no 'excuse effing you'.. You have already made one too many excuses about letting your child suffer abuse and you sitting on your hands doing shiz... I effing hate parents that biznitch about shiz and do nothing about it but biznitch.. There's no excuse. Call cps. it's their JOB to investigate this stuff..

You obviously have no clue and are wishy washy yourself.. What's to say CPS does find something... But you'll never know because you're sitting on your hands doing nothing but speculating. And if you are that afraid that something is going to happen well that is more reason to fight for your child and not sit here on a message board doing....well.. nothing..

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krisharry

I can't get partial quote to work so I copied this line from your post.
it's not worth making any huge waves right now




What? You think your son may be being abused, hit by a belt, denied food, but it's not worth making any huge waves right now. That I don't get at all. I hope that your son is ok and this situation can be resolved.

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"Because days come and go, but my feelings for you are forever..." by Papa Roach

sunniekiss

I hope & pray your son is safe & what he is telling you are not true.

With that said, if my child told me he was even accidently touched by a belt held by his daddy's baby-mamma, I wouldn't care if I had to walk to where my child was to check things out for myself. I would get the money anyway I could even if that meant picking up cans, or selling my blood, heck even a kidney, whatever it took to get my child out of that situation but then I am a super-over-protective parent & my sons are adults now.

I didn't realize that if a complaint was filed with CPS against a parent that the parent was allowed in the room when the child was interviewed.

I don't know you & certainly don't know your son or the situation but what I can say from personal experience, I denied that I was being abused by my EX for 25 years. I was wishy-washy about it hoping someone would take notice & action.

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I'm not a princess, this ain't a fairytale, I'm not the one who gets swept off her feet.

justme23

They aren't. It's an excuse. And yes, I would know... having BEEN the child of mental and physical abuse (including food deprevatin - my father actually put pad locks on the cabinets and fridge... I suffer to this day w/ the whole "getting enough" thing)... once someone finally got the courage to report my father... they came to the school (and it was NOT the school who did the reporting, they just knew it was the only place to get to me w/out him around) to talk to me before he even knew he'd been reported.

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Lord, keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth.

An 'eye for an eye' leaves the whole world blind. -Mahatma Gandhi

DAVESBABYDOLL

That line jumped out at me too. ANY sign of abuse against your child or any other child is worth making waves about. If it's proven that it's not happening, fine, better safe then sorry. If it's proven it is happening, get you child the F' out of where he is, get him the help he needs and take care of him.

It seems because he was with his granparents, you threw your hands up and said F' it they can take care with him.

If it were my child, I would move heaven and earth to make sure he was safe and not in harms way.

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Either you decide to stay in the shallow end of the pool, or you go out in the ocean

cpbaby

Any child is worth "making huge waves right now" for......and if it were MY child, I would be making a freaking tsunami! And, how do you think that poor baby feels thinking that his mommy doesnt love him enough to make things better? After all, isnt that what mommys do? Thats why my children think that I can do and they know I will do anything I can do make sure they arent being mistreated in any way.

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Sophie
dob. 01/09/04