I'm done being nice - Big Big Forums

ilikefree · 06-30-2009, 03:22 PM

Maybe it's the weather, I don't know, but I'm done being nice. On Saturday I had a surprise 50th and 16th birthday party for dh and ds. First of all, not even 1/2 of the invited guests showed up, I had all kinds of food and cake left over and you can only eat so many leftovers. Then of the people who did come, a few of them who are really well off didn't even give them gifts or a card. Not that that's why I invited them, but I've always felt that if you get invited somewhere and you go and eat their food, you bring a gift. There's a nice older lady and gentleman who we just met within the last few years who aren't that well off. They brought our whole family their own gifts...they gave me a nice set of wine glasses in a beautiful basket. That wasn't necessary or even expected, but it was a bright spot in my evening.

Also, I put right on the invitations that we'd have a campfire and make s'mores. Everyone thought that sounded like a great idea, but when the time came, everyone buy my one sister and her family left! Then dh didn't even thank me or really acknowledge the party. Ds seemed grateful for the party, but never really did thank me for it either. I put so much money into this party that we're short other places, but I'll work that out. It's just that I worked so hard to make this a memorable day and I feel that it was a flop. Now it's bringing my mood down on everything...leftovers since Saturday. I've gotten so sick of leftovers that I've frozen some of them for some other time...I'll have to get a lot of the cake frozen too.

Sorry to complain, but I knew I could do it here and you guys would understand.

Kelsey1224 · 06-30-2009, 03:37 PM

Yea...I hate when I plan something really big and it flops. At least you put the effort into it. Your hubby and son should have thanked you for that.

Oh well...hugs to you for your generous heart!

YankeeMary · 06-30-2009, 04:12 PM

I would be upset as well for the people that didn't show. It is very disrespectful and costful to you. I am sorry it turned out like it did as I know you worked so hard on this. I am sure your dh and both enjoyed and appreciated it, and should have told you. HUGS!!! I think you are a wonderful mother and wife for doing this for them.

hotwheelstx · 06-30-2009, 05:17 PM

I'm sorry. I know that people can/can't show appreciation sometimes....really is heartbreaking sometimes.

I'm sure both appriciated the effort you put into it. I know I would if Aggie did for me. Both your son/husband owe you a HUGE thank you for being so kind.

whatever · 06-30-2009, 05:23 PM

I would be hurt as well. Might I suggest IF you ever do it again do a PRSVP type of thing. Also (and don't get mad) you can't expect people to bring gifts. And I have learned looks are deceiving these days. You might think people are well off, but in reality they might be living on credit etc. Around us several people we thought were "well off" are now filing bankruptcy or having big money issues. Alot of people can put up a good front. JMHO

fleabones3 · 06-30-2009, 05:26 PM

Yep, you should have been thanked by DH and DS. Its the thought that counts. As for those that didnt show, they could have at least called before hand so you had more of a accurate count so not to have too much food. And yes , even a freakin card is not that expensive. You can get them at the dollar store. There is no excuse for bad manners.

ilikefree · 06-30-2009, 05:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by whatever

I would be hurt as well. Might I suggest IF you ever do it again do a PRSVP type of thing. Also (and don't get mad) you can't expect people to bring gifts. And I have learned looks are deceiving these days. You might think people are well off, but in reality they might be living on credit etc. Around us several people we thought were "well off" are now filing bankruptcy or having big money issues. Alot of people can put up a good front. JMHO

The reason I didn't have anyone RSVP is because both dh and ds have access to my e-mail accounts and I didn't want anyone calling and taking the chance of leaving a message that either one of them would hear. No, I'm not mad at you for saying it, and didn't expect people to bring gifts, but like fleabones said, a card isn't expensive. In fact, I get all of mine at the dollar store 2/$1 or $1 for the better ones. But yes, I do understand what you're saying.

iluvmybaby · 06-30-2009, 07:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ilikefree

The reason I didn't have anyone RSVP is because both dh and ds have access to my e-mail accounts and I didn't want anyone calling and taking the chance of leaving a message that either one of them would hear. No, I'm not mad at you for saying it, and didn't expect people to bring gifts, but like fleabones said, a card isn't expensive. In fact, I get all of mine at the dollar store 2/$1 or $1 for the better ones. But yes, I do understand what you're saying.

I am old fashioned in that I believe if you attend a party a gift SHOULD be given. I am not saying that it has to be expensive, you can get a card for $0.50 like likefree said. I hope you had fun at least. You need to kick your DH in the bum at 50 he should know what work,effort and money you put into the party

Anniston · 06-30-2009, 07:37 PM

So sorry to read that. I know from your posts, that you were putting much thought and effort into all of it. It hurts one's feelings when people are not appreciative and when people don't show.

shadowcats · 06-30-2009, 08:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Anniston

So sorry to read that. I know from your posts, that you were putting much thought and effort into all of it. It hurts one's feelings when people are not appreciative and when people don't show.

call your local seniors citizen center or the nearest senior care center and take them there and throw and imprompt too party for them,,,,,, believe me they ll appreciate you and your left overs,,,,,,,,,, they get forgotten so much and believe me its a blast to make smores with those who have been left in homes with no other family, to care for them. or if you have a center for children who are in protective care they love having some one come and cheer up those little ones who are so depressed,,,,,,,,,,
and this is a tax write off . so you can recoup some of the money wasted ,

iluvmybaby · 07-01-2009, 02:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shadowcats

call your local seniors citizen center or the nearest senior care center and take them there and throw and imprompt too party for them,,,,,, believe me they ll appreciate you and your left overs,,,,,,,,,, they get forgotten so much and believe me its a blast to make smores with those who have been left in homes with no other family, to care for them. or if you have a center for children who are in protective care they love having some one come and cheer up those little ones who are so depressed,,,,,,,,,,
and this is a tax write off . so you can recoup some of the money wasted ,

I volunteer a lot at my local senior citizens center, a LOT of those ladies and gentlemen are extremely low income and most of the time the only meal they get a day is there for lunch ((for $1)). What an awesome idea shadowcats!