cathych

you are absolutely right, you are already angry & bitter.

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I'm a Baha'i,ask me why.

MsLynn

its only against him, and i really don't need your freaking judgemental attitude right now. i'm trying to find out where me and my boys are gonna live next month. SO SCREW YOU.

PrincessArky

oh MsLynn you are so much better than that. Sounds to me your dad is really a pos and you deserved so much better. It is his loss not yours that we all can see. Life it too short to carry hate for this man that doesnt even deserve to be in the life of someone so special like you. I know it has to be hard to let go but I bet once he is out of your life completely you are going to be a much happier person. Dont waste another second of you life thinking about him. I know that you are so gonna reach all the wonderful goals that you have set for yourself

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Mom I miss you already
January 16, 1940 to April 29, 2009

PrincessArky

after everything that has happened I bet ppl will understand why she isnt there and who knows if he treats others like that she might not be the only one going

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Mom I miss you already
January 16, 1940 to April 29, 2009

mosdata1

Lynn, while my father never promised me things, he used to promise to come see us & my brother & I used to wait for him all day (he started doing this when I was about 12 & my bro was 14 - older bro was out of the house - in college). My mom used to try to distract us, but 2 days to maybe 1 week later, he would call & tell us how sorry he was that he couldn't make it. I had not seen my dad since I was 4 years old! Finally when I was in H.S., he spoke to my mom, said he had a job & wanted us to come see him. Bro & I both refused. I said he was the dad & if he wanted to see us that badly, he could bring himself out to Queens! When the eldest came home from NM with his wife & DD's my dad once again, said he would come to visit. Well, needless to say, once again he was a no-show! I called my dad the next day & he gave some lame excuse. At that point the Eldest stopped calling him anything but Earl (his first name), and I just wrote him off. My other bro (the one 2 years older) had given up on him years ago. My mom used to tell me that hating my dad would only hurt me. He was not in my life, so he would never know of my resentment, so my anger would only eat up my insides.
A few years after becoming a christian, I decided that I would try to extend a peace offering to my father. I called all around town looking for him, but I was told that no one knew where he was.
Anyway, fast forward to about 16 years ago. I received a call from someone my aunt was sub-letting her apt to. I used rent her apt from her about 8 years before this call. The woman told me that some man had tried to call me with news of my father. When I called the man back - he was one of the people I had called when I was searching for my father. He told me that although my dad was living with him, in the basement of his house, he didn't want us to know where he was. Anyway, my dad was in the hosp with CHF. I called the hosp & the Dr's told me that he was stable so I could see him in the AM. I called my mom (in CT at this time) & my 2 brothers (1 in Brooklyn & the other in Syracuse by then). Well my dad died that night - all by himself in the hosp surrounded by strangers, in a crowded hosp ward. I did go to his funeral - his bro (my uncle) paid for it. Not us children, nor my mom.
While it is sad that I never had a relationship with my father, I also no longer felt bitter towards him. I hope that you can get to the point that it no longer such a raw wound in your heart. It is still fresh, so it is harder to overlook. Just know that you did what you should to help take care of him as any good daughter would do, but try to look at him as a man with issues that will forever keep him apart from those who would love him, unless he changes. Try to realize that he will not be the dad you want, or need him to be (at least at this point).
Sorry this is so long, but I can relate to not having a father around for you - although mine didn't use & discard me - he just had no use for me. Some men just don't know what it is to be a real dad but it is more their loss than ours.

I pray that you are able to find peace, finish your training (please don't put this off, as it could take him a long time to find a buyer) & find an even better place to live.

Mo

Eyore

Lynn, Is it possible your mom or some other family member would let you stay with them until you can get on your feet. Or if not stay with them maybe help out in some other way?
Also, is there anyway you can get like Section 8 or some kind of help from the state or other government body to help with housing for you and the boys?
I don't know to much about that stuff.

Mary_Jo3

I am so sorry to hear about your financial situation.
My suggestion is:
Contact Public Aid for housing assistance, medical cards and food stamps.
Contact the financial aid office, don't give up your dreams of going to school.
Contact the School District when you get settled for the hot lunch program.
Contact Legal Assistance, and see if there is anything you can do about all the money you have put into the house already and pictures if you have them and the receipts.
Remember there are programs to help people in your situation, food pantries, Church basements for clothing and furnature and your friends, don't forget your friends, they may have stuff they don't want and you need.
I just hate it when bad things happen to good people, but I am a strong believer in Karma, what goes around comes around.
If the house is half remodeled it probably won't go fast unless he almost gives it away and after the realtor fees he won't have much left for his "Dr bills". Go out with your head held high as an example to your children who are probably scared out of their minds and let them know everything will be fine even if you don't believe it yourself. You sound like a very caring person to go into such a personal profession, to see people at the worst times in their lives and to be there for them. I have to disagree with some of the posts and say cut him loose, if someone doesn't better your life they don't deserve the chance to be in it, life is to short and you only get one shot.
Good luck.
Please let me know when you get settled in your new place.

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Trader Feedback.

I think my train of thought may have derailed.

Kelsey1224

I'm not about to pass judgement on you and know what it is like to not have much of a father in my life. Luckily we reconciled in his later years. I say lucky because it was lucky for me...not that I had found him, but because I was no longer controlled by my anger for him. Because you see, that's what happens when you are angry with someone. Particularly when that anger consumes you. Even when your anger is justified, as your's most definitely is, that person is controlling you and they don't even know it.

Your father is controlling you and how you feel. Wouldn't it be nice to be out from under his control?

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Never argue with an idiot. It will bring you down to his level and he’ll win because of experience.

LuvBigRip

His actions not only affect MsLynn, but the emotional well being and security of her boys. She has every right to be as angry as she is.

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The oil is all in Texas, but the dipsticks are in D.C.

JustDoIt

It makes me sick to see people calling MsLynn agry and bitter like it's a bad thing. Her "father" (for lack of a better word that would probaby be censored here) has absolotley NO remorse about the HELL he's been putting her through throughout the years. And now, he's not just doing it to her, but also to her boys.

Damn skippy, if someone did that to me, I'd chop off their balls and serve it to them on a platter. There is only so much a person can take, and I would have reached my boiling point a long time ago.

So, if you have nothing nice to say, then use the back button and get out of this thread. It wasn't a thread to start a debate about wheher or not she's bitter and angry, cause she already admitted she was. AND SHE HAS EVERY DAMN REASON TO BE!!! So go kumbaya elsewhere, and let her work out her own feelings.

Geez.

Man, it feels good to let it all out when I'm on the rag. LOL

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Unstable, yet irresistable!
Dumbass....we all know one.

gmyers

She has every right to be angry. What he's doing is very selfish and uncaring to her and his grandkids too. If he wont let her keep the house for herself you would think he would for his grandkids. I really hope he'll do the right thing and let ya'll keep the house and make it legal this time so you don't have to worry all the time he'll change his mind again. Cause I don't think I'd take his word for it.