My 1st Vent...... - Big Big Forums

NiteQueen · 11-09-2004, 04:17 PM

Ok here goes i dont usually like to do this but i have a couple of things really buggin me. Me and DH have 5 kids together that all live with us. Now here is the thing his youngest had a bone marrow transplant and DH was gone for 2 mos and i was left here to man the station while he was gone so when he comes back everything was good for awhile then i got so stressed i didnt know how i was gonna deal with everything with son came back so i ended up leaving for 6 weeks.......we done alot of talking and working things out so now everything is good but here is the problem his ex wife is taking son to dr. that is an hour away and she doesnt have a reliable car and so she has been borrowing my van or DH car and then she only wants the 2 boys that r heres when she isnt doing anything else and then comes in my sister inlaw and my DH ex mother inlaw.........they have told my DH ex that they are going to pull their money together and get a lawyer and try to take the 2 boys away from him he is so upset........but in the last 6 years that we have been together they all live in the same town and i can only think of maybe 3 times that any of them have come by to get them or visit. Dont get me wrong there isnt nothing wrong goin on and they are very well taken care of so i dont know why all of sudden they think they can do a much better job then what we have done for the past 6 years..........and then on top of all that they talk in front of them boys about stuff they sure dont need to know about.....and then the ex borrows my van yesterday and then has the nerve to tell me what i should do in my own house.........I dont think so........uggggg
Sorry for rambling and hope u understand it all.....
We have even told them to leave us alone we dont want to hear all your rumors and stuff and still they call.........
Thanks for letting me get this out......if anyone has any suggestions to put an end to all this cra***ess let me know.

***buttrfli*** · 11-09-2004, 04:25 PM

Sorry things aren't going well for you. It has been my experience that a judge won't remove a child from the primary custodian unless there is a problem. also.. why would a judge give her custody when she obviously does not have the proper transportation to take the son who is ill to the doctor?? You are VERY generous to let her borrow your vehicles and she should be grateful and not vendictive. Can you or your DH take the child to the doctor? I personally would stop the car lending immediately if she wants to play games.

Sounds like the ex likes to revel in drama. Just keep your head and all will be fine

Tasha405 · 11-09-2004, 04:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by buttrfli

Sorry things aren't going well for you. It has been my experience that a judge won't remove a child from the primary custodian unless there is a problem. also.. why would a judge give her custody when she obviously does not have the proper transportation to take the son who is ill to the doctor?? You are VERY generous to let her borrow your vehicles and she should be grateful and not vendictive. Can you or your DH take the child to the doctor? I personally would stop the car lending immediately if she wants to play games.

Sounds like the ex likes to revel in drama. Just keep your head and all will be fine

Well said & ITA!

Unicornmom77 · 11-09-2004, 06:42 PM

NiteQueen~!!!!!!!!! LOVE YA!!!!!

I am sorry you are having problems, You know I am praying for ya, and no judge is going to take Steven from his dad, And the judge will ask Steven what his preferance would be before he removed him. Try not to worry and tell all the kids we are good and miss and love them! Give Butch a hug for me!!!

NiteQueen · 11-10-2004, 12:37 AM

thanks everyone i know a judge aint gonna take them away.....5 years ago DH got a lawyer and he has sole cusdity and its not even thier mother that is talking that trash it is DH sister and ex mother in law.......
As far as us taking him to dr. DH does every other time but i think im goin to be takin him now cuz im not letting her borrow anything ever again.....she came over tonite cuz steven wanted to come home she was gonna keep him for few days cuz he is starting 2 new meds......and she came in her yelling an tellin us we were stupid and stuff so DH told her to get out he would call dr and they can tell him how to do it then she went out and didnt leave and came back and finally showed him how to use the machine.....its like an I V thing........
Anywho on another note Unicornmom where u at please call me or come home....we miss and love u soooooo much.....

msmom79 · 11-10-2004, 01:01 AM

a big {{{{{{{{{{{HUG**************** to you and your family .ita with everyone here you have nothing to worry about.you have to do something wrong ,before someone can step in and take your children.i think the ex is just blowing hot air to get under your skin!! good luck to you and your family.ann

butterfly1 · 11-10-2004, 01:13 AM

The thing about your post that got my attention is that a sick kid is going through pure hell inside as it is with all the stress and worries that goes with an illness. Not to mention that a kid doesn't even have adult skills to help them handle stress properly.

So, family drama is just liable to give this yougen a nervous breakdown.

My point is try talking to her from that perspective. Tell her, it isn't about you and her, just the kid you want to have as much inner peace as he can no matter what it takes from either of you.

NiteQueen · 11-10-2004, 01:18 AM

That is what im trying to do i told them they cant be yelling an screaming around him this is just insane dont u think he has gone thru enough already....and we are trying very hard to not have much drama at all that is the crazy stuff we did for almost 5 years and now its better and its gotta stay this way.........

butterfly1 · 11-10-2004, 01:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NiteQueen

That is what im trying to do i told them they cant be yelling an screaming around him this is just insane dont u think he has gone thru enough already....and we are trying very hard to not have much drama at all that is the crazy stuff we did for almost 5 years and now its better and its gotta stay this way.........

I will keep you all in my thoughts, and I wish the very best for you all and especially hoping that his health improves completely.

NiteQueen · 11-10-2004, 01:37 AM

Yes he is doing very well he is over 100 days out of transplant and goes to texas once a month rite now and he is doing weekly visits to the dr an hour away that is becuz he not wanting to drink as much as he should so he has been a lil dehydrated but all in all he is doing very well all his counts are really good rite where they should be...he had been taking steroids for so long he is soooo puffy an he had lost all of his hair so now the puffiness is goin away and the hair has started growing back its like lil peach fuzz so he like to wear his hats all the time.....but he has good spirits and we do our best to make everything nice around here for him and the other kids also.....

YankeeMary · 11-10-2004, 08:42 AM

Please know that I poray for Steven and you all. I hope things work out for you all. Please tell Steven, I said hello and I am so very proud of him, such a tough little trooper.