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  1. #1
    Rep Ho!:D Angelseyes28 has a reputation beyond repute Angelseyes28 has a reputation beyond repute Angelseyes28 has a reputation beyond repute Angelseyes28 has a reputation beyond repute Angelseyes28 has a reputation beyond repute Angelseyes28 has a reputation beyond repute Angelseyes28 has a reputation beyond repute Angelseyes28 has a reputation beyond repute Angelseyes28 has a reputation beyond repute Angelseyes28 has a reputation beyond repute Angelseyes28 has a reputation beyond repute
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    Unhappy Need help with a crying kindergartener! *sobbing*

    Ok I know there are alot of moms on here with school age kids so hopefully someone can give me some advice.
    My son started kindergarten a little over a month ago......he has cried most of the time. I am at my wits end. We have tried everything, rewards, punishment, bribery and everything in between. Nothing seems to help. He has had some good days and was rewarded for them from both his teachers and myself but after a couple days he went right back to crying. He says he wants to stay home with me. He got grounded yesterday b/c he was crying and since losing his privileges at home I hoped it would be an incentive for him to not cry this morning.........NOT. I gave him time to walk to class then I waited about 15 min and went and peeked through the door and he was standing in front of the teacher just bawling. I feel horrible for him and honestly don't know what to do. I am setting up a meeting with his teachers to find out if there are any issues in class that could be upsetting him. I'm also going to ask about the daily structures as far as what all is done during the school day such as recess, activity time etc. I need to find a way to make him excited about going to school but right now all I can think is that I want to just give him away until he graduates from high school.
    Do any of you have any suggestions on what I can do to help him stop crying at school? Everytime myself or anyone else asks him why he cries he just says, "I want to be home with Momma" Man I need a drink.
    Over at Mad- forum .com (no spaces)!

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  3. #2
    FreebiePoohBah! sahmsfreeb
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    Re: Need help with a crying kindergartener! *sobbing*

    hang in there! it gets better i promise!!!

    i so wish i could help you.. my kids were the opposite..
    "bye mom" zoom...
    perhaps hes worried about you? about leaving you home alone? let him give you a magical "lovey" to keep you safe while he is in school. then you give him a magical "lovey" ( a picture of the 2 of you... a key...a daily note on a post it note... a blue string braclet etc...) then tonight read The Kissing Hand
    by Audrey Penn
    Editorial Reviews
    Amazon.com
    Chester Raccoon doesn't want to go to school--he wants to stay home with his mother. She assures him that he'll love school--with its promise of new friends, new toys, and new books. Even better, she has a special secret that's been in the family for years--the Kissing Hand. This secret, she tells him, will make school seem as cozy as home. She takes her son's hand, spreads his tiny fingers into a fan and kisses his palm--smack dab in the middle: "Chester felt his mother's kiss rush from his hand, up his arm, and into his heart." Whenever he feels lonely at school, all he has to do is press his hand to his cheek to feel the warmth of his mother's kiss. Chester is so pleased with his Kissing Hand that he--in a genuinely touching moment--gives his mom a Kissing Hand, too, to comfort her when he is away. Audrey Penn's The Kissing Hand, published by the Child Welfare League of America, is just the right book for any child taking that fledgling plunge into preschool--or for any youngster who is temporarily separated from home or loved ones. The rough but endearing raccoon illustrations are as satisfying and soothing for anxious children as the simple story. (Ages 5 and older) --Karin Snelson

    From Publishers Weekly
    In her foreword to Penn's sugary tale about Chester, a young raccoon who would rather stay at home than go to school, Jean Kennedy Smith notes that the story is "for any child who confronts a difficult situation, and for the child within each of us who sometimes needs reassurance." Its obvious message is delivered by Mrs. Raccoon, who tells her son that "I know a wonderful secret that will make your nights at school seem as warm and cozy as your days at home." She then kisses his palm, and... read more


    GL!!!!!
    stay sane!!!!
    There's nuthing u cant froogle or snope!

  4. #3
    Taz 69 taz69 has a reputation beyond repute taz69 has a reputation beyond repute taz69 has a reputation beyond repute taz69 has a reputation beyond repute taz69 has a reputation beyond repute taz69 has a reputation beyond repute taz69 has a reputation beyond repute taz69 has a reputation beyond repute taz69 has a reputation beyond repute taz69 has a reputation beyond repute taz69 has a reputation beyond repute
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    Re: Need help with a crying kindergartener! *sobbing*

    Not all kids are ready for kindergarten at the same age - he may need to stay home this year, maybe try it again at the end of the year, then start fresh next year. Seems like a long time for him to still be that upset at school.
    http://bigbigforums.com/showthread.php3?s=&threadid=332636

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    Registered User Eyore has a reputation beyond repute Eyore has a reputation beyond repute Eyore has a reputation beyond repute Eyore has a reputation beyond repute Eyore has a reputation beyond repute Eyore has a reputation beyond repute Eyore has a reputation beyond repute Eyore has a reputation beyond repute Eyore has a reputation beyond repute Eyore has a reputation beyond repute Eyore has a reputation beyond repute
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    Re: Need help with a crying kindergartener! *sobbing*

    I assume your little boy is 5. Did he just turn 5 before school started? If so he is probably one of the youngest kid in his class.
    He could just not be ready for school and needs to wait another year.
    Here in PA they don't have to start school until the age of 8 at least that was how it was when my kids were in school. I do think 8 is bit long to wait but to wait till 6 isn't bad. Alot of kids are already that age anyway going in kindergarten.

  6. #5
    Registered User rlynn411 has a reputation beyond repute rlynn411 has a reputation beyond repute rlynn411 has a reputation beyond repute rlynn411 has a reputation beyond repute rlynn411 has a reputation beyond repute rlynn411 has a reputation beyond repute rlynn411 has a reputation beyond repute rlynn411 has a reputation beyond repute rlynn411 has a reputation beyond repute rlynn411 has a reputation beyond repute rlynn411 has a reputation beyond repute
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    Re: Need help with a crying kindergartener! *sobbing*

    Personally I would not punish him for the way he is acting or he may come to associate school with punishment. It takes some kids longer to adjust than other, although a month is a long time to still be upset.

    Is he a younger kindergardener 5 vs 6? He may just not be ready. Boys tend to mature later than girls in general. If hes at the younger end you may consider pulling him out and waiting a year and find activities seperate from you to involve him in. When my kids were small they both went to playschool 2 days per week 2 hours per day, don't know if it helped them be more okay with K or not.

    I would just talk to him and see what it is thats upset him so much. Seperation anxiety I understand, but kids generally tend to go on with the day once they get stated or distracted with other things.

    It hard to see our kids so upset. A much as I would hate to do it I would make a chart so he can see when he haas had a good day and maybe after so many good days in a row reward with a special reward....small toy, afternoon at the park with mom etc. Might consider inviting over other classmates for a play date, if he developes a bond with other kids he may not feel alone or miss you so much.

    Culd a neighbor or a friend take him to school for you and see if he still reacts this way. He may just be testing you .

    When my kids were small we had a detailed bedtime routine. Dinner, baths, story before bed....and I always made a point to take 10 minutes to talk to them see what they hoped they would do the next day, ask about other classmates, what there favorite part of the day was etc.

    Good luck to you!
    ~~One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure its worth watching.~~

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    Come on Spring!! JWWB2000
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    Re: Need help with a crying kindergartener! *sobbing*

    Wow.......I am having the opposite problem with my dd. All she wants to do is go to school and since her bday falls weird, I did not want her to go to pre-K for two years before she even goes to kindergarten! She was crying as to why she could not go to school with the big kids because she is a big girl.

  8. #7
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    Re: Need help with a crying kindergartener! *sobbing*

    Quote Originally Posted by taz69
    Not all kids are ready for kindergarten at the same age - he may need to stay home this year, maybe try it again at the end of the year, then start fresh next year. Seems like a long time for him to still be that upset at school.
    I totally agree. No sense in torturing the poor thing. During the summer, though, take him places that have childcare while you do things. Like Kroger and Pepe's. Leave him for short periods to begin with, and then gradually leave him longer. Some kids have awful seperation anxiety. Make sure you take him to places to "practice" being with other children.

    Linda

  9. #8
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    Re: Need help with a crying kindergartener! *sobbing*

    I'm so sorry you and your little one are having such a hard time. I'm going through some what of the same thing with my dd who is in kindergarten and my ds who is in 2nd grade. Luckily my dd will stop crying when I leave and then she's fine for the rest of the day. I think she's just trying to see how far she can push mommy. My ds has issues that we are dealing with and sometimes school "gets" to him and its hard for him to be there. With him I sit in the class for an hour or so until he feels comfortable and then I leave. I don't have to do this every day, just when he needs me. I start a new job on the 20th and I don't know what we're going to do if he needs me because I won't be able to be there for him. That alone breaks my heart.
    Like the others have said, maybe he just isn't ready for kindergarten or maybe he needs to have someone else take him to school if at all possible. Is it possible to work it out so you can help in the class once a week or what ever works for you? That helps my ds alot.
    Good Luck!!
    (((Hugs 4 both of you!!)))
    Proud Wiccan Mommy to 5 great kids

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    Re: Need help with a crying kindergartener! *sobbing*

    Is kindergarten half day or a full day? if it is a full day and he just turned five, I think I would consider taking him out and starting him next year, he may not be ready. If he only goes half a day, I think I would try to stick it out. Like someone suggested maybe he could ride the bus, and keep the goodbye short, don't allow him to cling to you. I would also check into what the routine at school is. kindergarted should be fun. And how does the teacher react to him? Good luck, that is a tough situation.
    Life is a garden, dig it? -Joe Dirt

  11. #10
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    Re: Need help with a crying kindergartener! *sobbing*

    I swear it is a BOY thing....

    Mom...take a big deep breath.. I used to be a teacher (little kids) and I am a mom of a first grader, so I know where you are coming from.

    I agree with the others...how old is he? Did he just turn 5? Did he ever go to any preschool or program without you? Do you have other children at home (a little sibling?).

    Some children take longer to adjust, again, especially boys. My son already asked me when does he get to stay home and he just started yesterday!!!

    Maybe the classroom/kids/whatever are overwelming to your son. Some kids have sensory deficit disorders (my son does) where noises or smells really upset them. Maybe you can have him tested for this.

    I WOULD NOT punish him. How does his teacher handle him crying? When I was a teacher (preschool) we would have kids cry and cry. I would tell the child they have to cry quietly or go in the corner and cry. Usually when they KNEW they HAD to stay they would start to see the class was fun and join in.

    I am so sorry...I worry about my son EVERY DAY as well so I know where you are coming from....!!!
    "I'm looking for my own ROCKY MOUNTAIN "high."

  12. #11
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    Re: Need help with a crying kindergartener! *sobbing*

    I agree that he could just not be ready for school yet (even though you may be lol) but I would certainly find out if there is something else going on first. My 7 y/o DD goes through bouts of not wanting to tell me when something is wrong.. or she dosen't want to share her feelings, so we have created a time that I will get her favorite treat, turn the TV off and she will sit and rock with me in the rocker... then I will talk to her about everything. Normally she will let me know how she feels about everything and when she has a bad day, it seems especially hard on her (shes very sensitive) and I will start off talking about her day and eventually we will get to the problem.

    When my 23 y/o DD was 10 she cried everyday before and after school, took me a month to get out of her what was wrong..... she had not made any friends and the kids didn't want to talk to her. So what I did was have a "back to school party" at our house and invited all of her classmates. The kids had a blast and since they were in such an informal setting, they were all relaxed and really got to know each other. It was just a matter of getting them out of school so that they could really get to know their classmates well.

    Perhaps you could also get him a little "buddy" to put in his backpack? I know here the kids aren't allowed to take toys to school, but maybe you could talk to his teacher and they will allow him to take something as long as it stays in his backpack? Sometimes just knowing something is there can make a child feel better without having to actually take it out and see it.

    Wish I had more helpful advice! Hope all goes well for you, I can understnd your frustration!
    Don't make me get out my flying monkeys.


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