Columbine Killer Parents : "We Don't Need Forgiveness" - Big Big Forums

Jolie Rouge · 05-17-2004, 07:08 PM

http://www.cnn.com/2004/US/Central/0....ap/index.html

Sunday, May 16, 2004 Posted: 3:51 PM EDT (1951 GMT)

NEW YORK (AP) -- In their first interview since the Columbine High School massacre, the parents of one of the killers said they feel no need to be forgiven and didn't realize their son was beyond hope until after he was dead. "Dylan (Klebold) did not do this because of the way he was raised," Susan Klebold told columnist David Brooks in Saturday's editions of The New York Times. "He did it in contradiction to the way he was raised."

Dylan Klebold and Eric Harris killed 13 people on April 20, 1999, before taking their own lives.

The couple took issue with people who say they forgive them for what happened. "I haven't done anything for which I need forgiveness," Susan Klebold said. They acknowledged they missed signs that their son was in trouble. Klebold and Harris were in a juvenile diversion program for breaking into a van and stealing tools and other items in January 1998.

"He was hopeless. We didn't realize it until after the end," Tom Klebold said.

"I think he suffered horribly before he died," Susan Klebold said. "For not seeing that, I will never forgive myself."

The couple said they felt under siege after the shooting and never had a chance to grieve for their son. Tom Klebold said they hope to understand someday why the shooting happened. "We're not qualified to sort this out. People need to understand this could have happened to them," he said.

The Klebolds said their son was set off by the "toxic culture" of the school, where athletes were worshipped and bullying was tolerated. Jefferson County Public Schools officials have consistently denied that bullying was tolerated or that athletes received special treatment.

The Klebolds' comments was criticized late Saturday by some of the victims' parents. "I'm horrified," Dawn Anna, whose daughter Lauren Townsend was killed at Columbine, told The Associated Press. "I wanted an apology. I wanted a contribution to help us understand why it happened, so that it would never happen again. I didn't hear it."

Brian Rohrbough, father of victim Daniel Rohrbough, said he was outraged that the Klebolds likened the day of the shootings to a natural disaster in the interview with Brooks. "This was murder," he said. "In my opinion, what went on in their home led to Columbine."

Brooks said the Klebolds agreed to the interview after an exchange of e-mails initiated by Tom Klebold, who was angered by Brooks' April 24 column. Brooks' column did not say when and where the interview took place.

In the April 24 column, Brooks had paraphrased an article in the online publication Slate that said Harris and Klebold yearned to become the most prolific mass murders in history.

The Klebolds' attorney, Gary Lozow, told The Denver Post the Klebolds had no plans to grant any other interviews. In a story for Sunday's editions of The Post, Lozow related the first moments after the Klebolds learned of the shooting.

They had heard the gunmen may have been part of the Trench Coat Mafia, a loose group of students, including their son, who said athletes at Columbine bullied them. "When early word came that the Trench Coat Mafia may be involved in the shooting, Tom ran downstairs to look for Dylan's trench coat, which he couldn't find," Lozow said. "He was afraid Dylan might be involved. So he called me and offered to go to the school in hopes of negotiating with Dylan. It wasn't accepted."

Harris' parents, Wayne and Kathy Harris, have never spoken to reporters.

After-hours phone calls to Times officials were not returned, and Brooks did not immediately respond to an e-mail request for comment.

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They didn't notice thier child making bombs in the garage, stockpiling guns, or any of the other reported behavior ... but when they heard about the shootings, their first move to was call a lawyer because they were afraid their son was involved ( as apposed to being one of the victims ). They are still in denial. They could not deal with their child in life or in death. I feel sorry for them because, while I don't hold a parent responsiable for a child's actions; the action the parents took ( or didn't ) surely shaped the child. But to try and hold up their son as a "victim" now is beyond belief, and a slap in the face of the innocents who died because two brats were having a bad day.

momfromTN · 05-17-2004, 07:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jolie Rouge

http://www.cnn.com/2004/US/Central/0....ap/index.html

Sunday, May 16, 2004 Posted: 3:51 PM EDT (1951 GMT)

NEW YORK (AP) -- In their first interview since the Columbine High School massacre, the parents of one of the killers said they feel no need to be forgiven and didn't realize their son was beyond hope until after he was dead. "Dylan (Klebold) did not do this because of the way he was raised," Susan Klebold told columnist David Brooks in Saturday's editions of The New York Times. "He did it in contradiction to the way he was raised."

Dylan Klebold and Eric Harris killed 13 people on April 20, 1999, before taking their own lives.

The couple took issue with people who say they forgive them for what happened. "I haven't done anything for which I need forgiveness," Susan Klebold said. They acknowledged they missed signs that their son was in trouble. Klebold and Harris were in a juvenile diversion program for breaking into a van and stealing tools and other items in January 1998.

"He was hopeless. We didn't realize it until after the end," Tom Klebold said.

"I think he suffered horribly before he died," Susan Klebold said. "For not seeing that, I will never forgive myself."

The couple said they felt under siege after the shooting and never had a chance to grieve for their son. Tom Klebold said they hope to understand someday why the shooting happened. "We're not qualified to sort this out. People need to understand this could have happened to them," he said.

The Klebolds said their son was set off by the "toxic culture" of the school, where athletes were worshipped and bullying was tolerated. Jefferson County Public Schools officials have consistently denied that bullying was tolerated or that athletes received special treatment.

The Klebolds' comments was criticized late Saturday by some of the victims' parents. "I'm horrified," Dawn Anna, whose daughter Lauren Townsend was killed at Columbine, told The Associated Press. "I wanted an apology. I wanted a contribution to help us understand why it happened, so that it would never happen again. I didn't hear it."

Brian Rohrbough, father of victim Daniel Rohrbough, said he was outraged that the Klebolds likened the day of the shootings to a natural disaster in the interview with Brooks. "This was murder," he said. "In my opinion, what went on in their home led to Columbine."

Brooks said the Klebolds agreed to the interview after an exchange of e-mails initiated by Tom Klebold, who was angered by Brooks' April 24 column. Brooks' column did not say when and where the interview took place.

In the April 24 column, Brooks had paraphrased an article in the online publication Slate that said Harris and Klebold yearned to become the most prolific mass murders in history.

The Klebolds' attorney, Gary Lozow, told The Denver Post the Klebolds had no plans to grant any other interviews. In a story for Sunday's editions of The Post, Lozow related the first moments after the Klebolds learned of the shooting.

They had heard the gunmen may have been part of the Trench Coat Mafia, a loose group of students, including their son, who said athletes at Columbine bullied them. "When early word came that the Trench Coat Mafia may be involved in the shooting, Tom ran downstairs to look for Dylan's trench coat, which he couldn't find," Lozow said. "He was afraid Dylan might be involved. So he called me and offered to go to the school in hopes of negotiating with Dylan. It wasn't accepted."

Harris' parents, Wayne and Kathy Harris, have never spoken to reporters.

After-hours phone calls to Times officials were not returned, and Brooks did not immediately respond to an e-mail request for comment.

--------------

They didn't notice thier child making bombs in the garage, stockpiling guns, or any of the other reported behavior ... but when they heard about the shootings, their first move to was call a lawyer because they were afraid their son was involved ( as apposed to being one of the victims ). They are still in denial. They could not deal with their child in life or in death. I feel sorry for them because, while I don't hold a parent responsiable for a child's actions; the action the parents took ( or didn't ) surely shaped the child. But to try and hold up their son as a "victim" now is beyond belief, and a slap in the face of the innocents who died because two brats were having a bad day.

I agree. But I also think Eric and Dylan's parents and family are also victims. The other parents demanding and expecting apologies and full explanations is not going to change anything. I don't think the parents of Dylan fully understand or know themselves. They should be left the hell alone to grieve for their son, who is also dead. I cannot imagine the guilt they feel.

I do know one thing though. I will vow to watch who my kids associate with and what they are into. I pray I will never be so full of my job, and my life, that I won't pay attention to potential problems. My sons are 5 and 6, and we are starting young. I won't allow computers, TV, or phones in their rooms. They have no need for that. I will monitor their activities. Unfortunately, the days of letting your kids roam fairly free, like when I was a kid, are over. I am not saying my precautions are the perfect solution and nothing will ever happen. But, I am going to do my darnedest to see that it doesn't.

schsa · 05-17-2004, 08:11 PM

I can't begin to imagine what they have gone through. They had no idea what would have happened that day. They are as much victims of this as the children who died.

Yes, they are probably in denial about some things but think about Jeffrey Dalmer's parents. How could they have possibly known what he would grow up to do?

Parents don't always do everything that they can but they don't set out to raise killers.

thedragonlady · 05-18-2004, 06:49 AM

I agree. Perhaps the parents should have paid more attention to what the kids were up to, but the parents didn't do the killing.

justme23 · 05-18-2004, 01:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by zitra

This is my opinion..A lot of people can say in hind sight, that they should have seen the signs, but alot of them aren't obvious. Also the materials for building bombs are every day materials, so just seeing them with the "equipment" wouldn't nessicarily send off warning signals.

I think I would feel the same as these parents do. If my son did something horrible, to somone else, I would FEEL sorry for them, and their families, but would not feel I would have to apologize to them, since I had no hand in it. Anyone can say they should have seen what was going on, but it's just like cases of suicide, you often don't notice the "signs", until something happens, and then people start seeing/saying "I thought that was a little weird", or they wish they would have paid more attention.

I agree completely... I tried to reply to this thread yesterday but I didn't want to sound uncaring of the victims... you put it in a way I never could have.

Jolie Rouge · 05-18-2004, 01:26 PM

Quote:

Yes, they are probably in denial about some things but think about Jeffrey Dalmer's parents. How could they have possibly known what he would grow up to do?

Dalmer was a grown man living in his own apartment.

Dylan was a teenager living in his parents home; were most parents are aware of their childrens activities....

I *do* feel for the parents, but they are comparing apples and oranges here.

A lot of kids get bullied at school - most do not they to set themselves as mass murderers.... The boys went to the prom the weekend before the killing spree spending thousands of dollars on a night they should have been remembering for the rest of their lives ( they did spend part of the evening presetting boobytraps ...). One of the boys drove a BMW to school everyday.... I can't really generate a lot of sympathy for *their* plight - and they clearly did not think about the hurt they were going to cause their parents by their actions.

CatrinaF25 · 05-18-2004, 01:45 PM

I feel sorry for EVERYONE involved. including the ones that did the Killing. they must of been very desturbed to do this. i feel sad noone reached out to them in time. I also do NOT think its the parents fault .

freeby4me · 05-18-2004, 01:50 PM

I understand what ALL parents involved feels. They all just want their children back. Its sad what happened, But we cannot go around blaming someone else everytime something happens. Those boys did something horrible,Nowthey are also dead or they would be living in prison right now. Its not their parents fault.

bell_peaches · 05-18-2004, 02:03 PM

No parent is perfect. We all want our kids to grow up be productive adults.No matter what a parent does a child will get into some kind of trouble. none of us want our kids to kill or harm others. we can be there for them and we can talk till we are blue in the face. We can show them how they are suppose to live but we can not live their lives. We do not get training manuals when we have our babies we just have to pray they will be good decent kids and we are doing the best for them. We don't even know if they have mental problems till stuff starts happening. We try to help them get them help. be there for them but know matter what some kids are not going to be law abiding good citizens. Some will do stuff we are proud of some of us will be ashamed. But please remember nobody is responsable for other peoples actions. We can just be there to pick them up and help them no matter what

1tiredmom · 05-18-2004, 11:38 PM

i agree bell peaches-what really angers me is that when my two were younger and did something wrong - idid what i thought was right as a punishment(usual things grounded, no phone) i was told by some parents that i should be glad that's the only thing they did and not like so & so's kid-i just looked & told them if i don't stop them now-thay may just do worse in the future-i remember when dd was in the 6th grade she got into trouble for writing on a post it note the imfamous phrase "kick me" and another girl put in on another girls back& then the other one did what the note said--when asked why the reply was we were bored-i was livid while the school's punishment was a detention of writing the time tables for an hour and half-home for 2 weeks when she asked about going off, the answer was no because i would hate for her to get bored as in school and do something dumb-no talking on the phone or computer cause she might get bored & goodness i would not want her to do anything that might make her want to do something she would regret later on-oh & yes she wrote a letter of apology and went to the girl's house and apologize to the parents as well -some say i was too hard on her---oh well

Angel Lips · 05-19-2004, 12:11 AM

I feel sorry for everyone who had witnessed it and for the families whos kids where taken away because two young men made a huge mistake and took their anger out on innocent by standers. its ashame. No matter where you now days your not safe at all.