Thread: Thinking of emailing the SIL, how is this? what would you say?

I am trying to smooth things over for the holidays. It isnt for us or sil and her dh it is for the kids. The kids really like playing togeather and I dont want the holiday season ruined because of this mess, so I was thinking of emailing her back. This is what I have right now


SIL,


I didn't mean to come off as rude with my last email, I didn't know you had already gotten something for the kids. I was just saying that just in case you didn't. I know how tight money is this year. I was hoping we could have talked about it at Jess's birthday party last Tuesday night, but as soon as we walked in the door you guys left. Not to mention no one bothered to say hi to any of us. I didn't realize that offering for you not to get us anything would bother you so much as to not talk to us.


Lynne


I have to be careful what I say cause she will take it all personaly and think I am attacking her, which at this moment I dont wanna do because of holidays. Now after the holidays I dont really care lol

What would you guys say or add to this?

how bout a phone call? That's a little more personable.

Originally posted by twinkiesmom
how bout a phone call? That's a little more personable.

Cause I wouldnt get a word in, and cause she wouldnt listen to anything I would say. Plus we cant get into a fight like this.

Believe me the list can go on and on, this is the best way to smooth things over for everyone

Drop this part:

"Not to mention no one bothered to say hi to any of us"

I felt like that part laid blame in which will provoke her to more arguing by being defensive. I'd just say, " When noone spoke to us, it really hurt my heart and I wanted to ask you if there was anything I could do to make peace again?"

THEN, the burden to make peace is off your shoulders and is her issue to fix.

If you use the phone call though, she cant put an "attitude" to your voice like she can an e-mail. Some people will read things in different attitudes and a personal phone call she cant!

Originally posted by freeby4me
If you use the phone call though, she cant put an "attitude" to your voice like she can an e-mail. Some people will read things in different attitudes and a personal phone call she cant!

I agree, that is true for SOME people, but not these people. I know the type she is talking about. This is what that type of people do, when you talk to them they are NOT listening instead they are simply WAITNG for their chance to talk some more after you shut up.

She won't be misinterpreted in an e-mail if she uses soft lingo.

if I do call her she will say something to make me mad, no matter how hard I try I will say something to make things worse.

I would rather stay with an email and go from there.

I think a phone call in the beginning to tell her of your wishes this year would have avoided a problem, but at this point I don't think it matters whether you call her or email her, there are already hard feeling between you. I would go ahead with the email except for the last part, Maybe change it to something like 'I hope you didn't leave so soon the other night because you are upset about this, It was not my intention to cause any problems.' Thats not very good, but you get what I mean.

Good luck!

Originally posted by Momster
I think a phone call in the beginning to tell her of your wishes this year would have avoided a problem, but at this point I don't think it matters whether you call her or email her, there are already hard feeling between you. I would go ahead with the email except for the last part, Maybe change it to something like 'I hope you didn't leave so soon the other night because you are upset about this, It was not my intention to cause any problems.' Thats not very good, but you get what I mean.

Good luck!

Believe me this didnt start the hard feeling between us, this started years ago. I wont even get into that story but believe me it didnt start with this.

Honestly I dont think she is upset about me saying dont get us anything, it is more of the fact that I said we werent going to get anything for them.

"You forgot to ask how was the cookie??" LMAO I still can not get over this part of it!! LOL