krisharry

Short version of long story. SIL is single mom, dad is involved and pays support. She moved out of state where we nowlive for better job, etc
We have helped her every step of way. DH took w/end off work (self-employed so a big deal for him) drove to get her and her dot and moved all her stuff. Helped her put downpayment of apt, showed her around, lent her money to have utilities on, etc. I am babysitting her
dot after school 5 days a week and on Saturdays all day. I have not asked for any $ for this. I would like SIL to get back on her feet.
She now wants me to watch dot every night over night so she can work a 3rd shift job. It will pay 5o cents more an hour. But I can't do it
I told her no. She is po'd to say the least. I have two kids of my own, one of which is 10 months old and Dh and I own our own business and I am very busy. She thinks it's no big deal cuz she will sleep but I still would have to do evening snack, bath, bed, breakfast, school lunch, etc. I think she is asking too much. I won't do it. She went out and bought a new 52" widescreen tv for her apt and she claims she is broke and needsthe $. Now MIL is po'd she thinks I should watch her. Everyone feels sorry for her and since I don't work (WTF?) I should do it. DH says up to me. Now hewill have to hear from the iL's ARRGH. I am so mad. I do have a life ya know. OK Thanks I feel better now. WHEW

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kelblend

Yep you do have a life!! I think you have been doing a heck of alot for her for no payment already!!! Why should you have to care for her kid all the time and for an extra 50 cents an hour for her and you still getting no pay!! I don't care if they are asleep or not you are still responsible. You can't just turn off the fact that another kid is there cause they are asleep. Whatever! I wouldn't worry about it. If your IL's are so upset, why dont' they help her??

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newwiccan

You're doing the right thing. You've done enough for her for free. Let your husband deal with the in-laws.

schsa

So for an extra $15 (I am taking out taxes) she wants you to accomodate her but her taste runs to 52 inch screen TV's?? I would have a problem with that as well. She doesn't need to be making more money if she isn't going to spend it wisely. She's lucky that you aren't asking her for money for baby sitting.

And you do need time for your own family and your own life. Sorry but if SIL is so desperate for $15 she can come to my house and mow the lawn. I'll pay her more than that. And it will be tax free.

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momfromTN

I think you have more than done your share to help her. I am not saying all single moms are like this, but a lot of them I have met seem to have this sense of entitlement, like the world owes them because they were not married when they had their child. I am not judging, and again (before the flames hit my feet)I am not saying ALL are like that.

Tell MIL if she is so gung ho about helping little precious princess, then SHE can do it.

mom4angels

I agree with everybody. You have already done plenty for her. If she needs more money why did she buy the 52 inch TV. She got enough from you'll by giving her money for her apartment and helping her move. Did she move near you'll so you go raise her child. When does she plan to she her if she has the two jobs? I would let your DH deal with the IL's too.

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Mom4angels

God Blessed me with four beautiful babies. Three beautiful girls and one handsome boy.

At the end of a long day I always say
" Give me Chocolate"

MommyG3

that is just not right. Not right at all. I would have declined too.

cinnamonch

The father pays child support, she works and can go out and get a 52" tv but says she needs money?

Somehow everyone must think because you dont go to a building thats owned by someone else that you dont have a job.

If MIL is so upset about it, ask her how come she doesnt take the little girl then. Or ask your SIL if its that important for her to work this 3rd shift, then why doesnt she let the father come get his daughter until she get herself financially straight. And for everyone else feeling sorry for her, tell them to start watching your niece or to pay for her to go to someone else.

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krisharry

Thanks guys. Just needed to reassure myself I'm doing
the right thing here. MIL and her ex live 700 miles
away so they can't watch her and she won't give up
her dot even temporarily. She has dug herself in a hole
buying things she can't afford, new car, tv, leather recliner, etc.
I want to see her do well, but I have my limits too. MIL is
advising her to take the job 3rd shift. She told sil that I
would give in if she had no one else. Sorry but I'm not, will
keep you updated and thanks again.

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"Because days come and go, but my feelings for you are forever..." by Papa Roach

MommyG3

Raven is right. She needs to learn to spend based on what she has at the moment.

DreamWarrior

If she can afford a 52" tv... she can afford a babysitter.....

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