My Eldest!

captorquewrench · 02-20-2003, 04:44 PM

I am so beside myself.

This child, who is 7, is bright, funny and usually very well behaved and just a real joy.

Sometimes tho, she is only that way for school and church and then at home is a completely different story. The behavior comes and goes. The child has a lazy, selfish disrepectful streak a mile wide sometimes. She does not like to do chores or help, or do anything except what she wants. She has been this way since day one. It has always taken some prodding to motivate her to do anything (unless it's her idea) but it's usually not a big problem. But sometimes....!!!! When it gets bad, we take away her fun and it is nothing but school, cleaning her room, and homeowrk or reading. no TV. no bicycle. no nintendo. no computer. then she will be OK for a while. And then the defiance comes back.

She has been pushing the boundaries beyond the limits this week.

Yesterday....

My mom said it is time to come inside.

No, courtney says.

She ran & hid.

Mom had to chase her down with the paddle to get her inside.

Courtney ended up SLAPPING MY MOTHER!

and it does not end there!

later when Courtney was watching TV mom said, it is time to turn the TV off and come eat dinner.

No courtney says, i don't have an appetite

how many 7 year olds actually use that word?

So mom turns off the tv and closes the door. Fine she says, you may not be hungry but it is still time to turn off the TV. And that maybe if she wasn't hungry at dinner time then maybe she should not get a snack after school anymore.

Courtney pitches a hissy and mom leaves her there.

So mom is getting the other 2 settled at the table.

Then Courtney comes out and wants a drink RIGHT NOW

mom told her Wait.

about this time i get home from work. I walked up to the door to hear this commotion. I could hear Courtney screaming from the moment i got out of the car. the hissy escalated to a conniption by this time.

I walked in and told Courtney if she was thirsty, to go in the bathroom and use the cup for some water or to get water of the fridge, that she was big enough to do it herself since granny was busy and I just got home and had to go potty RIGHT NOW.

That wasn't good enough. She wanted OJ RIGHT NOW

So right then I told her GO TO THE TABLE AND WE WILL TALK WHEN I GOT OUT OF THE BATHROOM

*sigh*
since courtney could not do what she was told and would not put her bike away......no bike till monday
since courtney could not stop watching TV and do what she was told...no TV till monday. when I take away TV i also take away computer & nintendo. because she acts the same way with all of them.
then we went over some parts of the Bible that talk about how much disobeying your parents displeases God

Last night was AWANA night. she loves going to AWANA.
I was SO CLOSE to making her sit out and watch the kids do the fun stuff like GAME TIME and last night was store night, I almost did not let her do AWANA store either. she did miss assembly to have a session with her Daddy too.
*ugh*

there have been no major changes at home recently. nothing at school. i just don't know what is causing this. unless she is just at a point to test boundaries. in which case.....we just need to be firm. the boundaries are already established.

i just needed to let this out.

Nikkole · 02-20-2003, 05:26 PM

My six year old got this way when she started school!
It's like a teenager in a body of a 6 year old..
Mine has the I can't hear you attitude, I can't and will not clean up after myself or clean my room, I will smack and push my two year old brother and I will have a temper tantrum when you put me in a time out!
Then we have the famous stomp and huff out of the room and the sigh when told something, I swear children should of came with instructions and a programing button!
Like my husband should have a built in mute button!

captorquewrench · 02-20-2003, 05:30 PM

eddie says it's a bit early for PMS, but that is all I can think of to describe this behavior.

MommyG3 · 02-20-2003, 05:42 PM

hon, it don't get any better. just wait till she is a teenaager. wwwwwwaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh

momfromTN · 02-20-2003, 06:14 PM

OMG! That child SLAPPED her grandmother? I would have NEVER,EVER even thought about doing that! My mom and grandma would have whooped my butt! (and deservedly so) Is she picking this crud up in school or something, or does grandma usually let her have her way? Man, I feel for you!
Honey, bottom line is consistency. I would cut off all extra-curricular activities. AWANA would be out for awhile. No TV or computer or whatever. Until she starts acting like a big girl instead of a baby, I would deny her anything that she loves to do. Let the punishment hit her where she lives. You do not have to take this stuff from a child. She needs to know YOU and Daddy run the house, not her. And please do not take this as I am belittling you or telling you how to live. I am speaking from experience with my 5 yr old son, who has a "tude" sometimes. A little denial of what he likes soon gets him back in line. But we are consistent, no matter what form of discipline we use. If you give them an inch, they will take a mile.

kelblend · 02-20-2003, 06:24 PM

HAH!! I have sworn my dot has had pms since day one!! Not kidding!!! I saw alot of what you said in her at that age. She's nine now, but I still see it alot more than I want to. Sometimes trying to get through her attitude is just undoable. She's sweet as pie everywhere else and some of the time is here as well. She gets into trouble and will NOT admit it, even when I prove to her that I know she did it. It's strange really, then I think of being that age and every age before it. I just keep working with her. Sometimes i have to take a break though. :0) Then I try again later. Don't get me wrong my dot is wonderful for the most part as I'm sure yours is. I can just sooo relate to your post. {{{captor******

cinnamonch · 02-20-2003, 07:00 PM

First of all if your child had been my mother's grandchild, she would still be trying to find herself today. No way this side of heaven have any of my mother's children or grandchildren or any child for that matter ever got up in her face and acted like this. If they did, they learned fast, quick and in a hurry that mama didnt play that.

I cant believe your mother went and chased your child. In my house, you can run and hide but I will not waste time and energy coming after you. Eventually you have to come home and when you do, thats all she wrote.

Wimzik · 02-20-2003, 08:53 PM

My dot is only five, and she is normally a very sweet, kind, and loving little girl, but every now and then we will have a bad day like that and it is like Jekyl and Hyde I swear even at five she acts like she has pms.
I think you are right she is just testing the boundaries, just stay firm and she will eventually figure out that her attitude isn't getting her anywhere. ((((hugs))))

captorquewrench · 02-20-2003, 09:01 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by cinnamonch
First of all if your child had been my mother's grandchild, she would still be trying to find herself today. No way this side of heaven have any of my mother's children or grandchildren or any child for that matter ever got up in her face and acted like this. If they did, they learned fast, quick and in a hurry that mama didnt play that.

I cant believe your mother went and chased your child. In my house, you can run and hide but I will not waste time and energy coming after you. Eventually you have to come home and when you do, thats all she wrote.

she didn't chase. that was my bad wording. she had to hunt her down. courtney was in the front yard. due to safety issues, and time constraints on wednsedays, it was a judgement call (and a good one) to not leave her out there. had it been the back yard, and we didn't have the time issues of wednesday, she would not have been hounded as such.

and trust me, grandmother had the paddle in hand. the paddle is not an idle threat in this household. meaning, if it comes out and the unacceptable behavior is not corrected or stopped IMMEDIATELY it IS used.

by the wording of your post, and I hope I have misnterpreted, it sounds as if I came across to mean my dot acts this way all the time. she doesn't which is why I am in such shock. this was the first time she has been this defiant.

now if it happens again, then I am in a state of I don't know what to do.

if it does, I will probably pull her out of the Challenge program at school for a while.

captorquewrench · 02-20-2003, 09:12 PM

it's weird. i got home today and she's fine. I guess that what makes it hard when she acts up. that it comes out of the blue after a long period of being an angel.

miccit · 02-20-2003, 09:43 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by captorquewrench
eddie says it's a bit early for PMS, but that is all I can think of to describe this behavior.

My pediatrician told me it is very possible for my 8 year old daughter to have PMS. OMG!!!!!!! She said that girls are starting earlier and earlier all the time, so PMS comes earlier.

I think I am going to hide under a rock for the next 20 years or so, you're welcome to join me.

02-20-2003, 04:44 PM	#1 (permalink)
captorquewrench kinkysax Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Houston Posts: 10,423 iTrader: (0) Thanks: 1 Thanked 17 Times in 13 Posts	My Eldest! I am so beside myself. This child, who is 7, is bright, funny and usually very well behaved and just a real joy. Sometimes tho, she is only that way for school and church and then at home is a completely different story. The behavior comes and goes. The child has a lazy, selfish disrepectful streak a mile wide sometimes. She does not like to do chores or help, or do anything except what she wants. She has been this way since day one. It has always taken some prodding to motivate her to do anything (unless it's her idea) but it's usually not a big problem. But sometimes....!!!! When it gets bad, we take away her fun and it is nothing but school, cleaning her room, and homeowrk or reading. no TV. no bicycle. no nintendo. no computer. then she will be OK for a while. And then the defiance comes back. She has been pushing the boundaries beyond the limits this week. Yesterday.... My mom said it is time to come inside. No, courtney says. She ran & hid. Mom had to chase her down with the paddle to get her inside. Courtney ended up SLAPPING MY MOTHER! and it does not end there! later when Courtney was watching TV mom said, it is time to turn the TV off and come eat dinner. No courtney says, i don't have an appetite how many 7 year olds actually use that word? So mom turns off the tv and closes the door. Fine she says, you may not be hungry but it is still time to turn off the TV. And that maybe if she wasn't hungry at dinner time then maybe she should not get a snack after school anymore. Courtney pitches a hissy and mom leaves her there. So mom is getting the other 2 settled at the table. Then Courtney comes out and wants a drink RIGHT NOW mom told her Wait. about this time i get home from work. I walked up to the door to hear this commotion. I could hear Courtney screaming from the moment i got out of the car. the hissy escalated to a conniption by this time. I walked in and told Courtney if she was thirsty, to go in the bathroom and use the cup for some water or to get water of the fridge, that she was big enough to do it herself since granny was busy and I just got home and had to go potty RIGHT NOW. That wasn't good enough. She wanted OJ RIGHT NOW So right then I told her GO TO THE TABLE AND WE WILL TALK WHEN I GOT OUT OF THE BATHROOM sigh since courtney could not do what she was told and would not put her bike away......no bike till monday since courtney could not stop watching TV and do what she was told...no TV till monday. when I take away TV i also take away computer & nintendo. because she acts the same way with all of them. then we went over some parts of the Bible that talk about how much disobeying your parents displeases God Last night was AWANA night. she loves going to AWANA. I was SO CLOSE to making her sit out and watch the kids do the fun stuff like GAME TIME and last night was store night, I almost did not let her do AWANA store either. she did miss assembly to have a session with her Daddy too. ugh there have been no major changes at home recently. nothing at school. i just don't know what is causing this. unless she is just at a point to test boundaries. in which case.....we just need to be firm. the boundaries are already established. i just needed to let this out. __________________ Hate is easy. Loves takes courage.

02-20-2003, 05:26 PM	#2 (permalink)
Nikkole I luv my boa, constrictya Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: At my desk in my office.. Posts: 1,137 iTrader: (0) Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	My six year old got this way when she started school! It's like a teenager in a body of a 6 year old.. Mine has the I can't hear you attitude, I can't and will not clean up after myself or clean my room, I will smack and push my two year old brother and I will have a temper tantrum when you put me in a time out! Then we have the famous stomp and huff out of the room and the sigh when told something, I swear children should of came with instructions and a programing button! Like my husband should have a built in mute button! __________________ Never wrestle with a pig, you both will get dirty and the pig will enjoy it! Quote from the Dr. Phil show ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ guitarmaker_2002@hotmail.com ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

02-20-2003, 05:30 PM	#3 (permalink)
captorquewrench kinkysax Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Houston Posts: 10,423 iTrader: (0) Thanks: 1 Thanked 17 Times in 13 Posts	eddie says it's a bit early for PMS, but that is all I can think of to describe this behavior. __________________ Hate is easy. Loves takes courage.

02-20-2003, 06:24 PM	#6 (permalink)
kelblend Registered User Join Date: Oct 2000 Posts: 13,308 iTrader: (0) Thanks: 26 Thanked 27 Times in 22 Posts	HAH!! I have sworn my dot has had pms since day one!! Not kidding!!! I saw alot of what you said in her at that age. She's nine now, but I still see it alot more than I want to. Sometimes trying to get through her attitude is just undoable. She's sweet as pie everywhere else and some of the time is here as well. She gets into trouble and will NOT admit it, even when I prove to her that I know she did it. It's strange really, then I think of being that age and every age before it. I just keep working with her. Sometimes i have to take a break though. :0) Then I try again later. Don't get me wrong my dot is wonderful for the most part as I'm sure yours is. I can just sooo relate to your post. {{{captor****** __________________ ~Life is easier without idiots~

02-20-2003, 07:00 PM	#7 (permalink)
cinnamonch Registered User Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Oklahoma Posts: 1,621 iTrader: (0) Thanks: 18 Thanked 69 Times in 31 Posts	First of all if your child had been my mother's grandchild, she would still be trying to find herself today. No way this side of heaven have any of my mother's children or grandchildren or any child for that matter ever got up in her face and acted like this. If they did, they learned fast, quick and in a hurry that mama didnt play that. I cant believe your mother went and chased your child. In my house, you can run and hide but I will not waste time and energy coming after you. Eventually you have to come home and when you do, thats all she wrote. __________________ "you cannot expect to achieve new goals or move beyond your present circumstances unless you change"

02-20-2003, 05:42 PM	#4 (permalink)
MommyG3 Registered User Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: NORTH MS Posts: 4,459 iTrader: (0) Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts	hon, it don't get any better. just wait till she is a teenaager. wwwwwwaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh

02-20-2003, 06:14 PM	#5 (permalink)
momfromTN Supporter of our Troops! Join Date: Aug 2002 Posts: 2,121 iTrader: (0) Thanks: 0 Thanked 5 Times in 3 Posts	OMG! That child SLAPPED her grandmother? I would have NEVER,EVER even thought about doing that! My mom and grandma would have whooped my butt! (and deservedly so) Is she picking this crud up in school or something, or does grandma usually let her have her way? Man, I feel for you! Honey, bottom line is consistency. I would cut off all extra-curricular activities. AWANA would be out for awhile. No TV or computer or whatever. Until she starts acting like a big girl instead of a baby, I would deny her anything that she loves to do. Let the punishment hit her where she lives. You do not have to take this stuff from a child. She needs to know YOU and Daddy run the house, not her. And please do not take this as I am belittling you or telling you how to live. I am speaking from experience with my 5 yr old son, who has a "tude" sometimes. A little denial of what he likes soon gets him back in line. But we are consistent, no matter what form of discipline we use. If you give them an inch, they will take a mile.

02-20-2003, 08:53 PM	#8 (permalink)
Wimzik Cynical One Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: New York Posts: 2,525 iTrader: (0) Thanks: 7 Thanked 24 Times in 13 Posts	My dot is only five, and she is normally a very sweet, kind, and loving little girl, but every now and then we will have a bad day like that and it is like Jekyl and Hyde I swear even at five she acts like she has pms. I think you are right she is just testing the boundaries, just stay firm and she will eventually figure out that her attitude isn't getting her anywhere. ((((hugs)))) __________________ Life is a garden, dig it? -Joe Dirt

02-20-2003, 09:12 PM	#10 (permalink)
captorquewrench kinkysax Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Houston Posts: 10,423 iTrader: (0) Thanks: 1 Thanked 17 Times in 13 Posts	it's weird. i got home today and she's fine. I guess that what makes it hard when she acts up. that it comes out of the blue after a long period of being an angel. __________________ Hate is easy. Loves takes courage.

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