So my brother has been hounding me for his stuff my mom left him in her will. No problem except it takes time to locate and gather things together. He got a lawyer yet according to the letter sent I am not to contact her directly. (Sorry. Had my lawyer fire off a letter.) He wants us to bring the stuff to him. I said no. You want it come get it. The stuff includes my moms record collection, Jim Beam bottle collection and cabinets she kept those bottles in. He states they are all full of liquor. Not some have evaporated. But I am not driving to another county with booze bottles in my car. His wife has a caddy and therefore a much larger trunk. That is besides the point. You want it, you come get it. I am not packing it up and making it easy for him. Hubby loaded my trunk and back seat anyway and now it reeks of Jim Beam. The funny thing is, he thinks they are so valuable. But Beam collectors are not in the numbers they were 20 years ago and are worth only 25% of their original cost. The albums have no album covers, which in most cases is where the value lies. She threw away the covers and put them in album books. The cabinets were nice but only 1 made it after the flood from 2-3 years ago.
I know he has plans to sell the stuff. I really don't care. None of it ever interested me. But on the beam collector web site, it states to dump the liquor before selling because people have been charged with selling liquor without a license when selling their collector bottles. I secretly hope this happens to him.
Secondly, after getting his stuff he was to sign off on her burial account at the bank, which he has refused to do. He wants half of the money, yet I paid for her burial. It cost just over $16K. I have been withholding bonds in his and his wifes name until I get that account. My lawyer said we could go to court for his wife frauding my mom. She had her buy these bonds 6 months before she died from small cell lung cancer that had spread to her brain. I am fed up with it all and my hubby told him he could have the bonds if he signs off and gives me the burial fund which has $17K in it.
All this was to take place tomorrow. Now he has decided to hold me hostage by forcing me to deliver the goods. Sorry Dick. You'll be getting a letter from my lawyer giving you 30 to pick it up or it will be considered abandoned. Then I will see you in small claims court for the burial money. Then I will see you in civil court over the bonds and the $150K you stole from her. Can I prove it? No. But how do you live when neither your wife or you work. How do you support her grown 26+ year old son when he too does not work and yet you were able to get your wifes adult 26 year old daughter an apartment and then furnish it with brand new furniture with no income. The daughter works 1 day a week. I have made contact with the police. I am willing to hire a financial investigator to see if a large sum was paid on his mortgage.
I just want it over with. He just wants more. He forgot then when I get pushed enough, I push back.
03-17-2012 04:14 AM
Its sad what happens to families when a parent has money. We didn't have to worry about that thank goodness my dad didn't have anything when he died and if he had it would have gone to my oldest sister because she did the most for him.
i'm so sorry... i'd have already killed him and called it a day... when my step sister comes to visit my 98 year old grandmother she just keeps telling us how much the stuff in her house would sell for on ebay, because she's been checking... TACKY
This crap happens even when there isn't "money"...trust me, I live it. **
Originally Posted by gmyers
Mrs Pepperpot is a lady who always copes with the tricky situations that she finds herself in....
My mom and her husband lived with us. When my mom, took ill, I and my hubby and sons cared for her. She stayed with my brother for a month and my mom hated it. They controlled her every move. (So they could rip her off). Then they forgot about her. At her wake, brothers wife commented how if they had known I was taking care of the flowers, they would not have bought any. Real class act. At the luncheon after the funeral all brother could say was where are my bonds and try to coerce my mothers hubby into staying with them for awhile. Which his reply was Mike and Laura take good care of me. I am not going anywhere with you. When my brother "Dick" tries to tell family how bad I was to my mom, they put him in his place. They tell him, they were here but he was nowhere to be found.
Hubby took everything to my brothers. While there my brother saide he was going after the house and other monies. He is trying to force probate. Sorry charlie. There was a will for a few very specific things. The bulk was in trust. Good luck. He says he is trying to make me incompetent as executor. Good luck again. He said he had the bonds reissued. Hubby said, then your wife will go to jail. She was the one who did it. He also said look at the bonds , you got 2 and yet she got 8. She is going screw you next. Laugh. That my my brother upset. LOL.Greed does strange things to people.
I worry this crap is going to happen when my grandmother passes. She is cutting everything up among her four children (and she's done it evenly)... however, since my mother (her baby) passed away, she has put me in the will to get her part. I have told her repeatedly I didn't want it and to take me off but she refuses... I am the black sheep though and I know her other three kids will look for any and every reason to make sure I get nothing... fine, they can have the money, I don't care... I just want the sentimental things... like the bells my mother and I bought her over the years. They aren't worth a dime, just sentimental so hopefully they won't have a reason to keep them from me. There's only like 10 of them anyways... I don't think I'm asking for much. What I'm really more worried about is what her husbands children are going to do. My grandmothers will has divided everything evenly (his kids get half and her kids get half... they technically get more cause there is four of us and 2 of them)... but my grandfathers will is written that his kids get EVERYthing... up to and including my grandmothers wedding ring. She has two daughters and multiple grandchildren alive... her choice for who that ring goes to should be honored (it's supposed to go to the youngest daughter) but we are all prepared for them to fight us (aunt) for it.
I don't know... do I sound greedy? I'm sorry, but she should get to choose who gets her ring and this is a no fault state so each spouse legally owns half of everything... I don't know what's gonna happen... I just want the bells... hubby tells me I should fight it cause it's a considerable amount of land... but I doubt I will.
Lord, keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth.
An 'eye for an eye' leaves the whole world blind. -Mahatma Gandhi
I don't think theres anything wrong with you getting your mothers share if thats what your grandma wanted. But I agree it'll probably be a mess. Hope it isn't though.
Last edited by gmyers; 03-18-2012 at 04:17 AM.
I have learned alot thru all this and will never agree to be executor again. But I have already committed myself to my moms hubby that I will take care of him now and everything else later. If I think this crap with my brother is bad, I know it will be worse with his two kids. That is why I am setting up a guardianship. A judge must approve but I should not have any issues as I am already his complete power of atty. I believe peoples last wishes should be honored. It is the final act of love we can give them.
Issues like this are so sad..So much heart ache for so many---I find the line about your brother telling you to not contact his lawyer a tad funny---Bet ya he does not have one--Just used that line to threaten you--Glad it did not work.
I really wish people would pass things on to those they want them to go to--BEFORE they die...Would not really rather see folks enjoy those items while still alive--rather than worry about what is going to happen after you have passed on???You know there would be fighting and bickering over Granny's teapot or hand made tablecloth---Like really think about--Would it not be nicer to present that crystal bowl to your daughter and see it on display in her home--You could be there to add a story or two about it---Add some family memories to be passed on about the bowl...
Another thing I wish more people did was--PREPAID Funerals--I know sounds a bit tacky--But again--Why not reduce the burden of your loved ones you leave behind---Go ahead and make some of the choices for them in advance--Then there is no fighting over which casket--what kind of flowers--what kind of service--what song(s)--which preacher--where---So much can be done in advance and there is less chance of the family being taken advantage of when they are most vulnerable...(You know it happens--we just don't talk about it). Include the family and let them know what you want--Pretty cut and dry if you ask me. By the way--the family does not have to like it--As long as you are happy so be it!!!.
HBlu..Stand your ground with your bro---He and the SIL sound like winners--oops maybe that should be losers!...If they did defraud your mom with the bonds--I would haul their butts into court--I have little use for those that take advantage of the elderly.
Justme: I think it maybe time to go visit Gram and see if she will let you have the bells now---Ask her about them--As you and your late mom got them for her--maybe a trip down memory lane about the two of you picking them out for her will be a nice way to spend some time...Why not see if she will write a short note or a few lines about getting each one--A nice thing to add to the collection and in her own hand writing will add something special when you later on go back and look at them. I think Grandpa needs to amend his will--She included HIS kids in her will so he should do the same--Or she cuts out his kids totally...Now on to the ring--Grandpa GAVE the ring to Grandma--so it is HER ring--she should decide who gets the ring..NOT him... Be prepared this could be a tough ride when they pass.
Let my haters be my motivators!
While I believe it is a great idea to give and have the gift from a person before they die, I'm not sure it's the best thing to ask or hint that the anticipated deceased person should give it to them right now. That, in itself could cause many problems.
We know that sentiment would be coming from a "good" place but the recipient or those whose ears she has, might not see it that way.
Gee Grandma, I always loved that crystal vase, please give it to me before you die so no one will fight me for it later......see how that sounds. I love your engagement ring that grandpa gave you, if I could have it now before my brother's wife takes it after you die, (you know she's had her eye on it for years), that would be so special to me....imagine being the person to whom that was spoken to. You aren't dead yet and yet people are eyeing your possessions and fighting over them, and trying to "out manuver" the other. And maybe Granny isn't done looking at her vase yet either.
Now if Granny offers it.......that would be great, but it has to be Granny's idea before yours. JMHO
Last edited by pepperpot; 03-18-2012 at 07:53 AM.
Mrs Pepperpot is a lady who always copes with the tricky situations that she finds herself in....