Thread: Need To Vent, Can't Do It w/Family & Friends

Sorry, but I just need to vent & whine and can't unload here at home. I hate being a downer but sometimes it just really helps to let it out and then "put on my big girl panties" ya know?

Anyway, I have been sick for a couple of years now and lately it seems like I get worse & worse news every few weeks about my health. My dh & kids, etc... are all great and I know they are stressed too so I feel bad complaining. For the last month, I've been in a lot of pain. The dr. has had me on pain patches & pills but it's still bad. My dad died at 49 from kidney failure, etc.. so it's been my worst fear. Found out Tues. that the pain is from my kidneys. He explained my ultrasound showed both have "abnormal ducts", etc... but all I can think is that I won't be around much longer. We knew it was coming but he'd said maybe 5 to 7 years, that was in Dec.

I'm scared and frustrated, to put it kindly. I'm only 35 & already can't work outside the home (or inside it somedays) anymore. I just feel like a real burdon on my family and don't like being the cause of anxiety, etc... in them. Now I have all these stinking tests to do & I'm afraid. I don't think I'm strong enough (I, like everyone else, am not good w/pain, etc..) to do all these tests. Plus, one on the 21, I have to go under. I haven't been put under since getting emphysema and worry I won't wake up. Can't be honest about that with my family or it adds to their worry. Anyway, thanks for listening and letting me get my fears/frustrations out. It does help just being able to get it out there. Now, where did I leave those panties.....

I'm sorry for all you're going through it sounds like a lot. I know how you feel about not wanting to talk to family because you don't want to worry them. But you can definitely come here and talk to us. I'll pray for you that your tests will come out good for you and you wont have pain. I really hope things get better for you and your health improves completely.

Sending (((((Hugs))))), prayers and good vibes your way! Hope you feel better soon.

Hugs and prayers.