Preteen angst....ugh

**Freebeemom** · 09-17-2008, 08:07 PM

My 6th grader is nice, mean, nice, mean...the moods are starting. I am trying my best to keep my cool when talking to him, but he just looses it. We got to the bottom of some things that are bothering him...but all in all, it is the confusion of growing up.

What kinds of things have you done to help boost your preteen's self esteem??

**Advertisement** · 09-17-2008 08:07 PM

**April78945** · 09-17-2008, 08:14 PM

I have no advice. Sorry

Hope it gets better

**cpbaby** · 09-17-2008, 08:18 PM

Ive not killed the two older ones. And I remind them of that fact on occasion...... Seriously, the 19 yr old thinks he knows EVERYTHING now and the 14 yr old is just GRUMPY...... Im praying for a couple of relatively stress-free years before the 4 yr old gets there......

**ilovecats** · 09-17-2008, 08:20 PM

Originally Posted by cpbaby

Ive not killed the two older ones. And I remind them of that fact on occasion...... Seriously, the 19 yr old thinks he knows EVERYTHING now and the 14 yr old is just GRUMPY...... Im praying for a couple of relatively stress-free years before the 4 yr old gets there......

Yup,pretty much this.

**ssgjeg** · 09-18-2008, 12:21 AM

My 2 boys will be 14 and 13 in october and november. We have good days and bad days. The bad days they fight like cats and dogs. No one can even breathe right around the 14 y/o. Everything his brother and sister do he has some complaint about. Mostly he's just a hormonal pain in the arse.

The 13 y/o is a whole different ball game. He's picked on at school so he picks on his sister alot. I just keep telling him that he is a great kid and that he gets along great with adults. It's just some kids his own age.

Just being there for them helps, I think. And listening is, I think, one of the most important things you can do.

**LuvBigRip** · 09-18-2008, 09:43 AM

I have a 16 year old DD (can anyone say emotional trainwreck) and a 14 year old DS (raging hormones!). Then, there is the 9 year old........

**Thawn** · 09-18-2008, 10:21 AM

Originally Posted by Freebeemom

What kinds of things have you done to help boost your preteen's self esteem??

Well, I think you can tell by my avatar that I love watching my kids play soccer. I think kids gain a lot from club sports. I have one daughter who is a natural athlete & one who is not-LOL. My youngest wanted to go back to dance classes last year. But they tried them all. Soccer, softball, basketball. I believe it helps them in gym class because at least they have some idea how to play the game. It helps them meet other kids that are not in their elementary school but they see some of these other kids in middle school & high school. So not every face is a strange face in the bigger schools. & yeah I think it boosts their self esteem.

My son, who is 18 now, was starting to get bullied in elementary school & I signed him & the older girl up for karate also. That was a big help & he said when a boy came up to him & tried to push him around on the playground-the bully wasn't able to push him around any more.

If a child is picked on at school, it has to addressed with the school.

**msmom79** · 09-18-2008, 05:37 PM

I Raised 2 Sons Also-both 2 Years Apart-so When They Went Through The Hormonal Changes,i Thought I Was Gonna Go Nuts.i Just Was There For Them,put Them In Sports And Karate Too.it Does Help For Them To Be Around Other Boys Their Own Ages-always Be Open To Talk To Them Freely.answer All Their Questions As Honestly As You Can-also Give Them That Time To Themselves,when There Are More Then 1 Child In The Home,they Need To Be By Themselves Sometimes(thats Just Their Age).sometimes If Hormones Are Real Outta Balance They Need To See Their Doc,just To Make Sure Nothing Else Is Going On.good Luck To You.

**ElleGee** · 09-18-2008, 05:41 PM

My 17 yr old is lucky he is still alive... Seriously.
When he is in a mood I want to punch him in the eye. Then he gets in his moods where I am really pleased with him.. it's a 60 /40 mix

**baragabrat** · 09-18-2008, 06:57 PM

Oh, I so remember those days. Starting in 6th grade, he began to show his independance. He & I fought so much. Over the small stuff, never over anything important. My biggest mistake back then was always having to be right. And of course my son was always right (according to him.) So fireworks all the time. Best advice I can give is don't sweat the small stuff. Take care of him the way I'm sure you have all along. Keep him safe. Love him and let him know that you do.

Today my son is 31 and a staff sargeant in the Army. He makes me proud every day. We got through that messy time really well. He's married, going to have a baby next year and calls me several times a week. He's a great guy and his wife is lucky to have him. And we always tell each other that we love each other.

**cpbaby** · 09-18-2008, 07:33 PM

Originally Posted by baragabrat

Oh, I so remember those days. Starting in 6th grade, he began to show his independance. He & I fought so much. Over the small stuff, never over anything important. My biggest mistake back then was always having to be right. And of course my son was always right (according to him.) So fireworks all the time. Best advice I can give is don't sweat the small stuff. Take care of him the way I'm sure you have all along. Keep him safe. Love him and let him know that you do.

I dont "sweat the small stuff". Seriously, most of the time mine can wear what they want, even if it is pushing the line a little, as long as they understand they will be suffering the consequences. Im not fighting over the length of their hair, as long as it is kept clean and brushed. Im not fighting over their music as long as they keep it low enough I can hear my tv. (although it DOES drive my 14 yr old crazy that the "great new band" he just heard was Def Leppard and the song was "Pour Some Sugar on Me"...from my high school days) I also made a point to give "the talk" while driving in a dark car.......its dark so they cant see me, but we are driving so they cant escape. Bout killed my oldest when he figured out that his friends didnt coin the term "jacking off"....... I think that my not fighting over these issues helps them not fight me when we do something special and I insist upon compliance.....Like wearing dress pants, button down shirt, belt and dress shoes w/ dark socks when I request it(recently, to a wedding). I also TRY to let them know that they can talk to me about anything, but sometimes it backfires and I hear more than I want to know, especially the 19 yr old...I know he is out on his own and he is technically an adult, but there are some things a mom just doesnt want to know.....

I also tell them I love them every chance I get that doesnt involve other people(around their friends). Like when I leave the house in the mornings...or when I talk to the oldest on the phone. They always hear, at least once a day, that I love them, just the way they are.

Thread: Preteen angst....ugh

Thread Tools

Display