Thread: ITS OFFICIAL!!! I Give the Hell up!!!!!!!!

Originally Posted by JustDoIt

It makes me sick to see people calling MsLynn agry and bitter like it's a bad thing. Her "father" (for lack of a better word that would probaby be censored here) has absolotley NO remorse about the HELL he's been putting her through throughout the years. And now, he's not just doing it to her, but also to her boys.

Damn skippy, if someone did that to me, I'd chop off their balls and serve it to them on a platter. There is only so much a person can take, and I would have reached my boiling point a long time ago.

So, if you have nothing nice to say, then use the back button and get out of this thread. It wasn't a thread to start a debate about wheher or not she's bitter and angry, cause she already admitted she was. AND SHE HAS EVERY DAMN REASON TO BE!!! So go kumbaya elsewhere, and let her work out her own feelings.

Geez.

Man, it feels good to let it all out when I'm on the rag. LOL

In total agreement. Maybe one day she'll work through the anger, if she wants to, but until then the woman needs to vent.

Originally Posted by cathych

My dad died several years ago. Unless you and your dad make things right with each now, it will be a burden to you for the rest of your life. You do not want to be a angry, bitter, old woman. And, if you do not go to his funeral, it will look bad on YOU, not on him.

Ppl have been telling me this for years. These are the same ppl that now (as an adult) tell me they knew how my father treated me when I was a child but "didn't know what to do about it". My father beat the crap out of me in ways that are hard to even imagine. He mentally abused me to the point that I still have issues to this day. When I was 15 I moved in w/ my aunt but I still loved him then, so I was devastated when he moved to the other side of the country several months later w/out even telling me he was leaving. A year after that he came back for a 2 week visit w/ his best friend. I didn't even know about this trip until a year after it happened. I was devastated again. Not only did I not know he was 15 minutes from me but he didn't even TRY to speak to me or see me. I was grown by this point and hatred was how I chose to deal w/ it. I refused to speak to him even though his best friend would tell me how he wanted to know how I was and all this bullshit. I made it a point to stay away from ppl who were still in contact w/ him because as far as I was concerned, he was dead to me and I truly felt that way down to my very core. Anyways... it's fifteen years later now. He somehow found someone to take pity on him and give him my phone #. He called of course but instead of hanging up and changing my #, I decided to see what would happen. I had been telling myself for several years now that I didn't even care enough to hate him, that there was just no feelings at all. I knew that was bs the day he told me "I know I didn't always treat you right as a kid and I hope you don't ever treat your kids that way". I tried to accept this stupid comment for what it was, his shitty version of an apology. But I quickly learned it wasn't enough... that I NEED to hear him say "Hey, I'm sorry I hit you". I know in my brain that it won't be the answer that makes everything better and like it never happened... but my heart aches for it. Now he sits up in Washington telling everyone that "he tried" and there's "nothing more he can do" and I just won't call him. Well, no, I won't call... he didn't really try cause he only called once and still thinks that *I* should make all the effort... I refuse, I WORSHIPED that man, *despite* how he treated me, for years. It's HIS turn now!

At any rate... the point I was making is that there are a LOT of steps one has to go through mentally to get to the point where you can forgive. It's just not as easy as "making peace" and forgetting anything ever happened. I know in my brain that I will probably regret forever not forgiving him while he is alive (who knows, if he gets his head out of his ass, I still may), but that is a price I am willing to pay at this point in my life. I know you were trying to be helpful, but saying it to someone and that someone actually doing it are just two very different things. I can also say that 10 years ago, when ppl said that to me, I reacted in much the same way to them. It's just really hard to get to that point.

MsLynn, if you ever need someone to vent to, pls feel free. I am sorry you are having to go through this. I am not an expert and can't make things better, but I can listen. (((hugs))) My prayers are w/ you and your kids.

My real father has never been there for me, I remember vividly being 3 years old and seeing that bastard beat the crap out of my mom and when she wanted me to go next door to get my babysitter he threw me up against a wall. A few years ago he had a major stroke, I didn't give a shit then nor do I now, my step-dad who has been in my life for 40 years now is my dad, he gave me away at my wedding, he's always been there for me. So yeah I am bitter about my real dad and will never get over what he did,he can also rot in Hell for all I care.

Hon I wasnt gonna dip in this but my so called father treated me BAD casue I had my daughter out of wedlock and he hated her and I so I know what you are going thru..I hated him and never went to his funeral and never regretted it and you and your kids are more than welcome to come share my home with my family...Leave the fricken shrimp to....He deserves it....Gl

ok i was staying out of this for a while but reading this made me realize something. one my life isnt so bad now but.. when i was younger upto 13 i was beaten everyday all day by my stepmom with whatever she could grab,my dad sat back and did nothing. he didnt want to lose his precious piece of ass. well i then moved to my grama and lived with her only to fall into drugs and booze and get in a lot of trouble. i put myself in rehab/mental hosp. at 14 after i tried to kill myself in my best friends bathtub,i was diagnosed bipolar,severe depression, chronic depression,and sucidal tendencies. my dad came to see me 3 times i was there. my gram,aunt and bro everytime they were allowd.
so i then moved in with now hubby when i was 16 he was an alcoholic then and was an abusive b/f until 4 years ago when he got clean. so i know i have gotten off topic but in teh end of my life exp. my dad came upto me a year ago when i was having a fight with hubby and said that he is sorry i felt that i needed to stay with an abusive partner for all the years i did because he let my step mom beat me so he was the reason i thought it was ok for anyone else to beat me. i know look back and realise if he had defended me and stood up for me instead of giving me away my life would have been different. now he kinda does the same thing to my sister. and it wasnt until i became pregnant that i realise he isnt God and he isnt on a pedastol any more and it kills me to have to say that.
sorry again to drag this on. i jsut couldnt stop lol

so i guess what im saying stand up for you and the kiddies. and be the best mom you can and who cares what the hell he thinks or does.

Ms.Lynn, I am really sorry about this housing problem.

Prayers that you'll find housing soon!

If you were closeby, you could come stay w/ me.

Could you get help w/ the rent deposit from church or a local charity? What about temporary housing?

(((Hugs)))

You say you were remodeling the house?
Are there any things you haven't installed that you could return? Or sell?
I think you mentioned your utilities were high, it's probably due to the remodeling and your house not being airtight, we went through that so once you find a place utilites might be cheaper and you would have a little more money in your pocket.
I am sorry to hear how many of you have bad childhoods, when we were younger it was kept quiet, what happened in the house stayed in the house. So I don't feel (personal thought) that describing all your bad childhoods is helping her.
Lets try to think of positive ideas to help get her out of her present situation and not feed the demons. EDITED
How old are your boys?

(((mslynn)))

I know how you feel and I think you are justified for feeling the way you do.

I hope you find a decent place for your kids and yourself. Call your children's school and ask to speak to the school counselor. Explain your situation and they should be able to help you. They have a lot of resources that aren't based on income.

Originally Posted by MsLynn

I don't really hate my dad. I just don't care.. I've never really loved him.. even when i was little. He was just another man to me. I've never really had any warm fuzzies about him. hell i don't remember him without a can of coors and a pell mell red in his mouth. When i get out of this house, AND I WILL GET OUT. i'm going to forget he even exists. and tell him to forget we do. not like that will be a problem for him.

Thats truely sad