Thread: Argh!!!!

Ok, maybe its just me BUT Im ready to SCREAM!


My MIL has end stage CHF. She is on oxygen 24/7 and is not doing well at all. My stepdaughter(SD) is 2 yrs older than me and the whole relationship is crazy. I usually dont deal with her as she avoids me at all costs........having a brother that is 27 yrs younger and a sister that is 37 yrs younger than her seemed to tick her off for some reason. My MIL used to be a great cook, but has lost some skills due to the CHF and her not feeling well enough to actually cook and my SD honestly does not know how. I have been cooking, and cooking for a crowd, from an early age.




I cooked Thanksgiving at my house, packed it to MIL's house and finished up there. It was the exact same menu that my MIL served every year, so there were no surprises. Everyone went on and on about how good it was..........except MIL and SD. MIL acted put out, which I attributed to her having to "give up control", which is very hard on her and I understood. My SD went on about how I cooked too much and if she had cooked, there wouldnt have been half of amount of food. Whatever, I can do it and it really wasnt a problem.



Sigh.................Christmas is coming.



Tonight I called my MIL and told her we needed to think about the menu so I can plan since(unlike Thanksgiving) the grocery stores will be closed on Christmas Day. Since usually she serves a "finger food" buffet, I had a sample menu I wanted to ask her about. She told me that THEY had been talking about it and she would let me know what THEY decided. I asked what THEY she was talking about, since this is the first time I had heard of it and she informed me that her and SD were deciding what would be served. They would let me know when they decided. She shot down every single one of my ideas, even though they were the same foods she has served for the past 15 Christmases.


Apparently I am just the hired help and can only cook what I am told, when I am told and I should not have thought about it on my own. I am not allowed to be tired(my MIL calls me up till 11 at times even though I get up at 5 am every day) I take my MIL to the ER and sit with her when needed while my DH stays home with our 12 and 2 yr old(so I know what the DR says and not DH's version of "I dont know, call and ask her"), I work two jobs-40-50 hours a week for the one thats an hours drive away and 22 hours a week at the other one. I am a "big strong country gal" while my SD is "delicate". Its ok that SD has grown children that are no longer in her house, works 20 minutes from her house and actually has to work 40 hours a week so she "needs her rest" and goes to bed at 8 pm every single night.




I am really just.......................ARGH! tonight. I guess they think I am taking over or something, but my MIL isnt able to cook and my SD CANT cook anything edible except Hamburger Helper, from what I understand from my MIL.


Im seriously thinking about refusing to cook at all except then it looks petty. Surely I am not that petty, I really dont mean to be.

Maybe I really shouldn't reply to this thread being that it is almost 4AM here, I am tired, I can't go back to sleep and maybe I am just being a bigger B than I usually am. But, for what it's worth, here is what I would do.

Stay home, let them shift for themselves. Maybe a nice Christmas dinner of Hamburger Helper will give them both a nice change of attitude.

As for the rest of what you do for her, turn that over to your SD too. Tell your MIL not to call you at 11P cause you work and need your rest. She can call your SD and get the assistance that she needs.

You don't have to take abuse from anyone. Not your MIL, not your SD, not anyone. Only you can stop the abuse. Let them both know where the line is drawn and then dare them to step across it.

OMG, what a B I am.

cpbaby..STOP letting them treat you like a door mat....Dang if you do decide to go to the christmas dinner get together bring a box of crackers and some cubed cheese...Then evil creatures (MIL and SD) can't complain about your cooking...When your MIL calls you back with THE menu, tell her you'll have to get back with her on it when it is more convenient for you...And when you do call, like the night before, tell them you changed your mind and don't care to cook this year...Case closed...Then make a very nice meal for your family at home and enjoy it alone...and in peace..and with people who appreciate it and you.


nightrider127: You are not a B...You were just thinking along the same way I am..

I hate it when people get taken for granted for..You go out and bust your hump and all others can do is find something to nit pick about...Ungrateful dirtballs....

Originally Posted by nightrider127

Maybe I really shouldn't reply to this thread being that it is almost 4AM here, I am tired, I can't go back to sleep and maybe I am just being a bigger B than I usually am. But, for what it's worth, here is what I would do.

Stay home, let them shift for themselves. Maybe a nice Christmas dinner of Hamburger Helper will give them both a nice change of attitude.

As for the rest of what you do for her, turn that over to your SD too. Tell your MIL not to call you at 11P cause you work and need your rest. She can call your SD and get the assistance that she needs.

You don't have to take abuse from anyone. Not your MIL, not your SD, not anyone. Only you can stop the abuse. Let them both know where the line is drawn and then dare them to step across it.

OMG, what a B I am.

OMG GET OUT OF MY HEAD!!!!!! LOL
thats exactly what I was thinking, does this make me a big B too??? YEAH!!!!!!

Originally Posted by DIRKSWIFE4

OMG GET OUT OF MY HEAD!!!!!! LOL
thats exactly what I was thinking, does this make me a big B too??? YEAH!!!!!!

Maybe a bunch of us can get together and start a Bitches R Us club, lol

Originally Posted by nightrider127

Maybe a bunch of us can get together and start a Bitches R Us club, lol

HEY- I WAS PRESIDENT OF THAT CLUB IN HIGH SCHOOL! I WILL BE MORE THAN HAPPY TO TAKE MY OLD POSITION BACK IF THIS CLUB GETS UNDER WAY. JUST LET ME KNOW AND I WILL GET MY SWEARING IN SPEECH READY!


MY OPINION IS THE SAME AS THE OTHERS.

I am sry they are treating you like this. I have question what is CHF?

Originally Posted by ladyfoob

I am sry they are treating you like this. I have question what is CHF?

Congestive Heart Failure = fluid building up around the heart making it work harder and the lungs work harder or the more technical version = a condition in which the heart fails to pump adequate amounts of blood to the tissues, resulting in accumulation of blood returning to the heart from the veins, and often accompanied by distension of the ventricles, edema, and shortness of breath. HTH