Thread: Why do people let...............

their children stare at people w/disabilities????

I have had this all my life and it's finally starting to get to me. I was in Walmart today and a little boy "found" me and followed me around the store for 2 hours just staring. No parent or caregiver to be found.

PLEASE DON'T GET ME WRONG...........I don't mind if any child comes up and asks me why I'm different, why I can't walk, why are my feet smaller for an adult?

I get stares/questions from adults as well.

How do you take a bath?

Who gets you dressed?

How do you eat?

Do you sleep in your chair?

Do you have little furniture in your house?

How do you sleep in a "real bed"

Who stays home w/you?

How do you have "wild thing"?

Who would want to marry someone w/disability?

Do you live in a group home?

How do you go to the bathroom?

Do "they" know where you are??? Who are they? I'm 40 years old and haven't had to answer that kind of ???? since I moved out of my mom's home.

You know you should really park in handicapped parking.......it would be easier on you don't you think??? Yes, it would but it's full. What else can I do?

Yes, adults weekly ask me these kinds of questions. I answer as politly as I can w/out coming/sounding rude.

Children on the other hand (jmo) aren't exposed to these things daily.

Whatever happened to everyone is different. It doesn't hurt to ask. I will tell you that I've asked some people about their disabilities.

Most are grateful that I asked instead of staring them out of the store. It's embarrassing, intimidating, harrassing to say the least. Especially if you have an adult doing it to you.

I guess it's just another day in the life of hotwheels................

This certainly isn't the first time and it won't be the last, either.

(((((Mel))))

People don't stare at Super Mom while I am around. Appearently I am scary. Then again. My step-grandmother says that people stare at all disabled people. But not like they do at Mom. Ah well. People, as a whole, I have found, are stupid. A person is smart.

I take back what I said. I just seen the picture you posted. That is beyond tacky.

But on a serious note (((((hotwheelstx))))), do you ever try smiling at the children real big? My cousin use to do that before she died. She never let her condition get in the way of her wonderful personality. But she was one in a million. I remember the first time I got to see her after they had to remove both of her legs. She was home with the fake ones and was making a huge joke out of it to me about how she felt wearing them. She made sure no one around her felt intimidated by her. Before she passed away she was blind, had both legs removed, a finger. She had kidney transplant I think it was. She had to be hooked up to a machine for that transplant.....but she always was smiling and joking. She made sure no one ever felt the need to pity her or stare at her like that. Not that you do or anything like that. But I'm just thinking you might try a huge warm friendly smile at the children, just to see what will happen.

.

Originally posted by Kyla Kym
But on a serious note (((((hotwheelstx))))), do you ever try smiling at the children real big? My cousin use to do that before she died. She never let her condition get in the way of her wonderful personality. But she was one in a million. I remember the first time I got to see her after they had to remove both of her legs. She was home with the fake ones and was making a huge joke out of it to me about how she felt wearing them. She made sure no one around her felt intimidated by her. Before she passed away she was blind, had both legs removed, a finger. She had kidney transplant I think it was. She had to be hooked up to a machine for that transplant.....but she always was smiling and joking. She made sure no one ever felt the need to pity her or stare at her like that. Not that you do or anything like that. But I'm just thinking you might try a huge warm friendly smile at the children, just to see what will happen.

Yes, but what good is that???? They think we're ALIENS. I understand not knowing or understanding but I don't believe that they should stare. I've even approached some children........w/parents permission still THE PARENTS ARE STARING. What does that teach a child???

I don't see what smiling saying hi, waving has to do w/anything. I've tried it all. It doesn't work most of the time.

I am not a freak of nature, don't look out of ordinary except for sitting, i wear clothes, have nice manicures, I can speak. This also comes along the lines of waiters/waitresses asking Aggie what I want to eat...............Like I can't speak for myself.

All I'm really saying is you can approach people "like us". We don't bite, run off, scream, yell or IGNORE YOU AND STARE OUT OF THE CORNER OF OUR EYES AT YOU.

I suppose most of us are guilty of staring at one time or another. It's not to be mean but more that people have to understand. They see you as someone without the ability to walk and they just don't understand your life. Your difference is more visible than most people.

As an adult I realize that people are different but as a child I think that I would have asked all those questions just because I would want to understand the difference. It's not a matter of being rude as much as it is to comprehend the difference. I suppose I would be more curious about a blind person or someone who couldn't hear than someone in a wheel chair. Again, it's not because I want to be rude but to attempt to comprehend how they live in a world that depends so much on sight and sound.

Guilty.

I can see where a kid following you around a store for 2 hours would bother you, that would bug me too, but most kids don't stare to be rude, they are just curious.
My kids have been around people in wheelchairs, there was a little boy in their class last year who used a wheelchair, so my kids don't stare or think anything of it, but the other day when we were walking out of a store there was a guy who only had one leg and he was using a special walker, my daughter was staring at him because she had never seen anything like that before, I just whispered to her that it wasn't polite to stare, but I know she wasn't doing it to be rude.

I'm so sorry you have to deal with that. I guess as long as they're just curious or concerned, it's not as bad. I'll never forget the time I was in a grocery story and these three adults were pointing their fingers and laughing at somebody with a "disability." I'm a quiet person but I came real close to telling them off.

Originally posted by hotwheelstx
Yes, but what good is that???? They think we're ALIENS. I understand not knowing or understanding but I don't believe that they should stare. I've even approached some children........w/parents permission still THE PARENTS ARE STARING. What does that teach a child???

I don't see what smiling saying hi, waving has to do w/anything. I've tried it all. It doesn't work most of the time.

I am not a freak of nature, don't look out of ordinary except for sitting, i wear clothes, have nice manicures, I can speak. This also comes along the lines of waiters/waitresses asking Aggie what I want to eat...............Like I can't speak for myself.

All I'm really saying is you can approach people "like us". We don't bite, run off, scream, yell or IGNORE YOU AND STARE OUT OF THE CORNER OF OUR EYES AT YOU.

Well, while you may have encountered some rude or less than understanding children, I will say that not all children treat people with disabilties this way. I think it is a matter of parental influence and exposure. The last year I taught in public school, I had a little boy in a wheelchair in one of my classes (7th grade). He was mainstreamed, not special ed, so he was in all the kids' classes, and for them, it was normal. He was normal, except that he was in a wheelchair (which was, in fact, normal to him). If he needed help, he asked for it, and got it, otherwise, he acted just like another kid - did the work, had friends, got in trouble sometimes, just like any other kid. I bet that if one fo the kids from one of those classes saw you in a store, they wouldn't stare like that, and certainly wouldn't follow you around; they would know, from the experience of having a friend in a wheelchair, better than to treat someone with a disability like that.

I'm sorry you've had a bad experience with kids and their parents. I've seen kids especially really learn from being around people from disabilities, and eventually make good friends. It must be a combination of factors.