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  1. #1
    shadowcats's Avatar
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    WHAT IS IT WITH KIDS today , my daughter totally dumped me on mothers day

    i am never forgotten by my son even my son that died he always called me or sent me a card, this year my oldest son sent me a sony walkman 8g for mothers day and i know he really shouldnt be spending that on me,
    but my daughter , nada ,,,,, not even a card ,,,,,,,,,,,,,, NOT EVEN A DOLLAR GENERAL CARD, and this isnt even the first time she doesn t send xmas or birthday anythings ,,,,,,,,,, if she remembers she ll call, but mostly i get ignored , ive stopped sending anything to her or her hubby for holidays any more , i send to the grandkids but not to them ,and they are in the ministry ,,,,,,,,,, she posted on my facebook ,,,,,,,,, happy mothers day mom love tina ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, thats it , nothing more , nada ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,well she ll find out someday what goes around comes around and i hope God gets her good,
    its her dads fault , when we divorced her dad who i wount say his name molested her , then he used mind tricks on her told her i was going to put her in a mental hospital cause i wanted to take her to a counciler, so she ran away to florida, i was living in miss, and the state said she was old enough to chose what home she wanted to live in ,,,,,,,,,,,, she chose her dad ,,,,,,,,,,, i raised such a stink they ended up putting her in a foster home with a friend of hers parents who sided with my ex, she was 15 at the time, this was three years after i left her cruddy dad for molesting her,,,,,,,,,i think she blames me for making her dad move out and getting a divorce,,,,,,,,,,, damn man married another idiot woman not even two weeks after the divorce , i love my daughter but she denies that she holds grudges and its like she doesnt remember any thing i did for her,,,,,,,,,, hell i paid the whole school cost for her private schooling and her clothes and toys everything , her damn dad was a skinflint , he sent all his money to his mom in canada , and other family members,,,,,,,, i worked just as hard as he did,,,,,,,, and more i took care of our family ,,,,,,,,,,, grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, this has made me so depressed
    i tried talking to her about it but at 27 she totally blows me off ,but she calls her dad,,,,,,,,,,, and even went to visit him i wasnt even invited to her wedding , cause her dad said if i came he wouldnt ,,,,,,,,, grrrrrrrrrrrrr,
    i cried all nite last nite because of her and missing my other son who died , if it wasnt for my oldest and his wife, i think i would have died years ago, from grief , between them and my husband and my best friend cheryl , i would have ended it long ago,,,,,,,,,,i know its old history but she has children now and i can call and talk to them but she barely has any time for me, i m lucky i get the face book contact,,,,,,,,,,,, her dad brainwashed her so badly , and her husband is nice but i dont know him, ,,,,,,,,,, and they really dont want any contact with me, his family is rich, my ex is a minister, how hes stayed a minister i dont know, but since i dont go holy roller , im not a good enough christian for them,,,,,,,,,,,,
    oh well , sorry for the vent but i felt like screaming ,,,,,,,,,,, lol my therapist told me i should go to the woods and scream lol but i can see my new neighbors calling the cops ,,,,,,,,,,,, probley would think my hubby was killing me,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
    since we moved now i ve got to find a new clinic.........
    phoey ,,,,,,,,,,,,, so for now i had to vent this here,,,,,,,,,,,
    sharon
    my son joshua when he was 18 now deceased in 2002 , always remembered always loved

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    Circuit advertisement WHAT IS IT WITH KIDS today , my daughter totally dumped me on mothers day
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    sounds like you might want to call your daughter and sit down, take her out to lunch, and have a good heart to heart.

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    I'm sorry that you're feeling so sad for your daughter's insensitivity. But please don't wish this on her;

    well she ll find out someday what goes around comes around and i hope God gets her good,
    Just pray that she comes to her senses.It sounds like she's been damaged from a lot of things in the past and may have to figure things out with some help.
    “Your body is not a temple, it’s an amusement park. Enjoy the ride.” Anthony Bourdain

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    Quote Originally Posted by speedygirl View Post
    I'm sorry that you're feeling so sad for your daughter's insensitivity. But please don't wish this on her;



    Just pray that she comes to her senses.It sounds like she's been damaged from a lot of things in the past and may have to figure things out with some help.
    I thought the same thing.

    I realize you posted this when you were upset and hurt. It is very understandable. But we must becareful for what we wish for. I agree with that you and your dd need to have a good long heart to heart. I wish you the best and I am so sorry that you are so hurt.
    The more you complain, the longer God makes you live.

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    did that several times when i was in florida

    Quote Originally Posted by jasmine View Post
    sounds like you might want to call your daughter and sit down, take her out to lunch, and have a good heart to heart.
    when we went to florida , (evacuating from katrina) she wouldnt even answer our calls. she was so afraid i was going to try and stay with her during that mess,,,,,,,,,,lol i even had the police go to her home to get her to answer the damn phone , i finally left a message to her saying i was leaving her up to God , and asking him to curse her as an infial daughter till she called me back settled this and told me why she refused to answer the phone. . five seconds after that message she called me back and not one word , how are you are you ok nada ,,,,,,,,,,,,,, all she said YOU CURSED ME AND YOUR GRANDCHILDREN,,,,,,,,, grandchildren .......... heck i was only told she had one ,,,,,,,,,,, thats when i found out i had a granddaughter,, she didnt even tell me till then and the baby was almost a year old,,,,,,,,, thats how i got her to even talk to me now,,,,,,,,,, she talks to me grudgingly now because i wouldnt let her ignor me that way ,,,,,, ive never fought with her or even had a heated word with her in her whole life , ever since she went to her dads , every time i called ,,,,,,,,,, it was she isnt home , or shes busy etc, i called every week , the same time and got the same message for over three years then i just gave up trying to get her to talk to me , she was in florida , i was raising her two brothers , mite i say with out help or money from her dad,,,,,,,, that idiot told my boys you chose your mom so forget about any thing from me,,,,,,,,,, he never called or visited them or gave them any thing for xmas or birthdays,this has been an ongoing thing since i left him and divorced him we were seperated three years before i even filed for divorce , i told him it was either go to counsiling or divorce , he chose divorce
    , so thats what i did,,,,,,,,,,,, thats when she ran away , with the help of my neighbor , i found out later he was paying them to watch me and report back to him ,,,,,,,,,,,,, he never had any reason for this he just wanted to justify his own behavior. he was running around with another woman from the church the whole time we were seperated,,,,,,,,,, thats who he married three weeks after the divorce ,,,,,,,,she was someone we knew in our church, his own parishioner as they call it.

    i never spoke to the kids about what was going on , my daughter knew i was seperated because of his sexual abuse , with her , i was lucky i stopped it before it really went to far, i took her out of the house and boarded her at our head pastors house for over three months before i left him ,and she knew i wasnt going to go back to him till he got counsiling which he never did. i wanted to take her to a christian counsiler in slidel and had the appointment for her, , she called her dad and he told her i was going to put her in the mental hospital , to make her freak thats when she got the neighbors to buy her ticket on the grey hound bus and they put her on it all the while telling me her daughter and mine were at the amusement park , i found out that evening he had sent them money for the ticket and told the police he had custody and i wouldnt send her home ,,,,,,, i had to bring my divorce papers with her custody in my care to prove this, and by the time they even would look at the papers and verify she was already at the florida station and the state said i would have to go to florida and file the papers there and then try and get her back, believe me ive been trying for years to get her to even talk to me; thats why im so heartbroken now over this. this is an ongoing situation . at least she doesnt stop me from talking to the kids now , she at least told me when she got pregant with the third one......... the kids are adorable . and they are not being told to hate me , its just her that cuts me out,,,,,,,,,,,,
    not much i can do but keep trying to talk to her.
    my son joshua when he was 18 now deceased in 2002 , always remembered always loved

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    Quote Originally Posted by shadowcats View Post
    when we went to florida , (evacuating from katrina) she wouldnt even answer our calls. she was so afraid i was going to try and stay with her during that mess,,,,,,,,,,lol i even had the police go to her home to get her to answer the damn phone , i finally left a message to her saying i was leaving her up to God , and asking him to curse her as an infial daughter till she called me back settled this and told me why she refused to answer the phone. . five seconds after that message she called me back and not one word , how are you are you ok nada ,,,,,,,,,,,,,, all she said YOU CURSED ME AND YOUR GRANDCHILDREN,,,,,,,,, grandchildren .......... heck i was only told she had one ,,,,,,,,,,, thats when i found out i had a granddaughter,, she didnt even tell me till then and the baby was almost a year old,,,,,,,,, thats how i got her to even talk to me now,,,,,,,,,, she talks to me grudgingly now because i wouldnt let her ignor me that way ,,,,,, ive never fought with her or even had a heated word with her in her whole life , ever since she went to her dads , every time i called ,,,,,,,,,, it was she isnt home , or shes busy etc, i called every week , the same time and got the same message for over three years then i just gave up trying to get her to talk to me , she was in florida , i was raising her two brothers , mite i say with out help or money from her dad,,,,,,,, that idiot told my boys you chose your mom so forget about any thing from me,,,,,,,,,, he never called or visited them or gave them any thing for xmas or birthdays,this has been an ongoing thing since i left him and divorced him we were seperated three years before i even filed for divorce , i told him it was either go to counsiling or divorce , he chose divorce
    , so thats what i did,,,,,,,,,,,, thats when she ran away , with the help of my neighbor , i found out later he was paying them to watch me and report back to him ,,,,,,,,,,,,, he never had any reason for this he just wanted to justify his own behavior. he was running around with another woman from the church the whole time we were seperated,,,,,,,,,, thats who he married three weeks after the divorce ,,,,,,,,she was someone we knew in our church, his own parishioner as they call it.

    i never spoke to the kids about what was going on , my daughter knew i was seperated because of his sexual abuse , with her , i was lucky i stopped it before it really went to far, i took her out of the house and boarded her at our head pastors house for over three months before i left him ,and she knew i wasnt going to go back to him till he got counsiling which he never did. i wanted to take her to a christian counsiler in slidel and had the appointment for her, , she called her dad and he told her i was going to put her in the mental hospital , to make her freak thats when she got the neighbors to buy her ticket on the grey hound bus and they put her on it all the while telling me her daughter and mine were at the amusement park , i found out that evening he had sent them money for the ticket and told the police he had custody and i wouldnt send her home ,,,,,,, i had to bring my divorce papers with her custody in my care to prove this, and by the time they even would look at the papers and verify she was already at the florida station and the state said i would have to go to florida and file the papers there and then try and get her back, believe me ive been trying for years to get her to even talk to me; thats why im so heartbroken now over this. this is an ongoing situation . at least she doesnt stop me from talking to the kids now , she at least told me when she got pregant with the third one......... the kids are adorable . and they are not being told to hate me , its just her that cuts me out,,,,,,,,,,,,
    not much i can do but keep trying to talk to her.
    To be honest, if my mother used God against me, I'd cut her out of my life. Try praying to God for resolution to your problem. I'm sure God doesn't take kindly to people using his name to invoke fear by curses and such.
    You get more flies with honey.
    “Your body is not a temple, it’s an amusement park. Enjoy the ride.” Anthony Bourdain

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    Why didn't your husband go to prison for molesting your daughter? People do strange things when they're molested. Even taking up for the molestor sometimes. I know from personal experience. They don't want their family to break up even when they know it should. I hope you and your daughter can talk one day and work out whats wrong between you. And like the others said I wouldn't threaten her it just makes things worse. It would be better if you asked her why she feels the way she does. I hope things work out for you.

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    Your DD sounds like she is pretty messed up from things from the past. I know that you are upset about the situation but when you go off on her like that she is going to get defensive. She is going to buy into what crap her father is feeding her because you cursed her or acted irrational(in her eyes). Some kids that are sexually abused would stay close to the abuser when they are young because they think it is how love is. She really needs therapy and I hope one day she will see the light. Maybe if you wrote her a letter straight from your heart telling how much you love her and want to put the past behind you . Tell her you want to start fresh and try to salvage your relationship. If she really didn't want you in her life at all honey she would not let you have anything to do with her children. She wouldn't let you talk to them at all. So please give thanks to God for at least being in that much of her life. Just take one day at a time with her.

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    she had cut me out of her life long time before katrina,

    Quote Originally Posted by gmyers View Post
    Why didn't your husband go to prison for molesting your daughter? People do strange things when they're molested. Even taking up for the molestor sometimes. I know from personal experience. They don't want their family to break up even when they know it should. I hope you and your daughter can talk one day and work out whats wrong between you. And like the others said I wouldn't threaten her it just makes things worse. It would be better if you asked her why she feels the way she does. I hope things work out for you.


































































    heck thats the only way i got her to talk to me in the first place . and i did try to put him in jail , but she wouldnt talk to anyone but our pastor and clammed up when she went to social services , he even admitted what he had done , and asked for giveness, but kept his own council , said that god would heal him , you dont know how many times ive tried to talk to her . sigh its got me no where with her. and asking her to go to counciling , she said to me the last time i dont want to talk about it. so i dont talk about it, she just ignors me as if i were and uncouth relalitive . as for the threat , i was a preachers wife for over 15 years and believe me i know my bible, i also know God will take care of her whether i wish it on her on not, good or bad you reap what you sow. and ive tried to tell her this. growing up i always took her to her grandparents homes to visit no matter what i felt about them i knew it was the right thing to do. but she professes to be a lay minister but she couldnt be bothered to even be a friend to me unless i force the issue. and i wouldnt even have known my grandkids if i had just let it go. her brother has tried to talk to her about this , and got into an argument she is so messed up by his teachings those last few years she was around him. i fought the florida's child services for years trying to get them to give her counciling , i finally gave up on them and kept trying to talk to her , and i dont mean counciling or harrengin her just contact , hello , do you need anything what are you doing etc, but after she graduated , ya i went to the ceremony gave her a huge amount of money and presents , the whole nine yards , we supposed to spend time those two weeks i spent there at her friends house where she was supposed to be living but the whole time i saw her only half an hour. then she was always out or gone somewhere with her friend , and after the graduation i went home. i did make it understood i was upset that she dumped me then , but its been the same story over the last few years , now she 28 or is it 27 lol im getting old. shes just getting more distant no matter how hard i try. sigh. what will happen if something does happen , i try hard to keep the communication open but its getting more harder for me to want to try any more. unless you walk in my shoes and know my kids personally i know its hard for any of you to understand,
    i just came on here to get my pain off my heart for a while, as to getting what i wish for , believe me losing my youngest to a freak car accident i know God took him for his own good. i gave him and my others ot God when they were born. so what ever happens is in Gods hands. i just needed to share my heartbreak. to ease the pain in a way that wouldnt be hurtful so when i call her this week i wount vent on her... sort of therapy venting my spleen.
    my son joshua when he was 18 now deceased in 2002 , always remembered always loved

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    Nothing wrong with that I vent here too. To keep from fighting with my family sometimes. I really do hope she comes around. I know it must hurt you a lot.

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    Venting is good. But speaking from experience, when I was a kid, the more my mother went after me on certain things (and many times she was right) the further I'd pull away. It's human nature and a defense mechanism to protect yourself from conflict. If she were my daughter, I'd give her some space and tell her that you're always there for her when she sorts things out. Sometimes the more you push, the further away the go. I really hope it works out and you are reunited.
    “Your body is not a temple, it’s an amusement park. Enjoy the ride.” Anthony Bourdain

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