jasmine

I am overwhelmed with stress, depression, anger, hurt, loneliness. My marriage.
As this is my second husband, my first marriage ended in divorce because of adultery on his part. This time though. It is never ending, he never comes home, he is always gone, sometimes for hours, sometimes for days,sometimes a week at a time. He always says that he is on his way home, but never shows up. I have tried, tried, and tried. And quit frankly, I am tired of trying, and crying. Maybe I cannot understand, because I believe he is an alchohic. I don't know. I don't know if it's the right way to pray or not. But I have been praying that he would just not come home. That one night on the way home from the bar he will get stopped and he will be put in jail so I won't have to deal with it anymore. I have asked him to leave, but he will not. So the only way I see to (I guess you could say) "get rid of him", is he were to be put in jail. His drivers license is no good.......... I am confused on how to pray. I feel wrong praying to God to end my marriage and not let him come home. But I also know that this is no way to live, that he is not good to me, is not here for me, or my children.
Anyway, I ask that you would pray that I would have the knowledge on how to handle this situation.
In my heart, I know that it is over. I don't want to pray for my own selfish reasons and wantings, but God has to see what I am going through and what he does.
So, once again, I am praying that somehow, someway, this will just all end.

I picked myself up last time, was strong, got on my own two feet and supported my kids. But I am just so tired, exhausted, and depressed. I am gaining weight from eating, smoking more cigarettes. I can't pick myself up to do anything. I laugh and enjoy my children, but inside I am dying. I just hope that he gets stopped tonight........ He has a couple more years of probation. He would prob. have to finish serving that in jail if he gets in any more trouble. I know that may seem mean. But, I just can't take it anymore, and he won't leave when I ask him to. Please don't think I am hateful on wishing this upon him. But I truely know he is destroying his life. And maybe perhaps spending some time thinking about it would be good.?

NasCat

Oh, jasmine, I don't know what to say. I've been there too, tho, and toughed it out, sometimes I wonder if I made the right choice. Also, once, many years ago, he was gone way too long, and I knew where he was, so I called the police in the area where he was, told them he was going to be driving under the influence, the kind of car, color, and tag. Sure enough, he was pulled over, tested and arrested. He got out the next day, but he had a long night to think it over, and I had a nice quiet night. This only works if you can trust the police not to rat you out. Mine didn't, I asked them to please not to. I'll be thinking of you, and praying, hon. Stay tough.

ma4angels

my prayers are with you and I hope that your situation is resolved soon for your sake. This is no way to live for you or your children. I don't know your whole situation but this is emotional abuse. That is just as bad as physical abuse. I was in a marriage with both and I know how hard it is. But you can get away from it. If he will not leave then you find a way to leave. If this is your house then have him thrown out with a separation and a restraining order. Anyway find a local women's shelter to help you get started over if need to be. I know all of this is easier said then done because truly I understand I have been there. But it can happen. The sooner it does the better off you and your kids will be. Please take care and God bless you.

YankeeMary

I think you should report him. He could very well hurt or kill innocent people. I would just pray that God's will be done. As it will in the end. I would for another minute allow his behavior. You have to think of your children. What is this teaching them? Its teaching your boys (If you have them.) this is the way to treat women and its teaching your girls (If you have them.) that this is ok to be treated like this. I would consider working on your self esteem. It has to be LOW in order to tolerate this type of treatment. Good luck!!!

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The more you complain, the longer God makes you live.

BeanieLuvR

jasmine, I'm praying that God will show you the way. You and your children need out of that situation. I don't for one minute think God wants us to put up with an abusive man whether it be mental or physical. My SIL was being mentally abused and I have stood behind her and supported her as she filed for and is going through her divorce. I'm sure your family and friends will be there for you also. Remember we are here for you too.

ElleGee

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4diego

I'll keep you in my prayers. I'm glad you have God, that's going to help you more than anything else. And friends, if you ever need to talk/vent, I'm here. Hugs to you and your kids.

iluvmybaby

I normally do not respond to any posts in the religious section because I am not a traditionaly religious girl, however I felt moved to speak. Do not waste another minute and contact a pastor or a priest or the appropriate thing for your religion. You are obviously a religious person, so seek counsel. I will pray for you to find happiness and peace in your life, that you can continue to be a strong special person, married or not. Best of wishes to you

ilovecats

Hope things get better soon.Time for you to move on and take care of yourself.

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Mini

First of all I hope things get better for you and your children(as in leaving the jerk)

Second of all how come you cant leave?? Why does he have to leave? Is it your house? If so you do know you could have him thrown out right? Call the police and get his butt out or just do what I would do and throw his crap on the lawn and change the locks. If its not your house surely you can find somewhere to go or better yet just get the divorce and more then likely you will get everything including the house and he will be forced out. How is stying in this situation good for your children? you need to get out ASAP no matter how you do it I dont know how old your kids are but kids arent stupid they know exactly whats going on and being there with this goin on is no better then him(or you) leaving

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To see the future you must forget your past...otherwise your past will become your future

june5917

Where to begin. I read your post and I was very saddened.

I am a strong believer that it takes two to make any relationship work. And from what I read it seems like he is not willing. There is some one out their who will appreciate you for who you are, some one who will look forward to coming home to you. Not only is he not taking you into consideration, he is not taking your children into consideration as well. You say you have tried to talk to him about this. and it just does not work. Now you need to start thinking about what is best for you. May god bless you and give you what you need right now. hugs xoxoxo

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Irelynn Lilly August 25th 2009