Big Big Forums - Coupons, Freebies, Deals & Discounts
Home Sign Up Freebies Contests Reward Programs Marketplace iTrader BBF Live
Go Back   Big Big Forums - Coupons, Freebies, Deals & Discounts > General Discussions > Religion and Prayers


Religion and Prayers For religious support, discussions, and prayers

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 06-04-2008, 10:47 AM   #1 (permalink)
suprtruckr
braindead
 
suprtruckr's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: In Limbo
Posts: 2,969
iTrader: (0)
Thanks: 44
Thanked 251 Times in 115 Posts
suprtruckr has a reputation beyond reputesuprtruckr has a reputation beyond reputesuprtruckr has a reputation beyond reputesuprtruckr has a reputation beyond reputesuprtruckr has a reputation beyond reputesuprtruckr has a reputation beyond reputesuprtruckr has a reputation beyond reputesuprtruckr has a reputation beyond reputesuprtruckr has a reputation beyond reputesuprtruckr has a reputation beyond reputesuprtruckr has a reputation beyond repute
forrest gump goes to heaven

FORREST GUMP GOES TO HEAVEN

The day finally arrived.

Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven.

He is at the Pearly Gates, met by St. Peter himself. However, the gates are closed, and

Forrest approaches the gatekeeper.


St. Peter said,

'Well, Forrest, it is certainly good to see you.

We have heard a lot about you.

I must tell you, though, that the place is filling up fast, and we have been administering an entrance examination

for everyone.

The test is short, but you have to pass it

before you can get into Heaven.'


Forrest responds,

'It sure is good to be here, St. Peter, sir.

But, nobody ever told me about any entrance exam.

I sure hope that the test ain't too hard.

Life was a big enough test as it was.'


St. Peter continued,

'Yes, I know, Forrest, but the test is only three questions.




First:

What two days of the week begin with the letter T?

Second:

How many seconds are there in a year?

Third:

What is God's first name?'










Forrest leaves to think the questions over.

He returns the next day and

sees St. Peter,

who waves him up, and says,

'Now that you have had a chance to think

the questions over, tell me your answers'


Forrest replied,

'Well, the first one --

which two days in the week begins with the letter 'T'?

Shucks, that one is easy.

That would be Today and Tomorrow.'


The Saint's eyes opened wide and

he exclaimed,

'Forrest, that is not what I was thinking, but

you do have a point, and

I guess I did not specify, so

I will give you credit for that answer.'

'How about the next one?' asked St. Peter


'How many seconds in a year?

Now that one is harder,' replied Forrest, but

I thunk and thunk about that, and

I guess the only answer can be twelve.'


Astounded, St. Peter said,

'Twelve? Twelve?

Forrest, how in Heaven's name could you come up with twelve seconds in a year?'


Forrest replied,

'Shucks, there's got to be twelve:

January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd ... '


'Hold it,' interrupts St. Peter.

'I see where you are going with this, and

I see your point,

though that was not quite what I had in mind ... but

I will have to give you credit for that one, too.

Let us go on with the third and final question.

Can you tell me God's first name'?


'Sure,' Forrest replied,

'it's Andy.'


'Andy?'

exclaimed an exasperated and frustrated St Peter.

'Ok, I can understand how you

came up with your answers to my first two questions, but just how in the world did you come up with the name

Andy as the first name of God?'


'Shucks, that was the easiest one of all,'

Forrest replied.

'I learnt it from the song,

'ANDY WALKS WITH ME,

ANDY TALKS WITH ME,

ANDY TELLS ME I AM HIS OWN.' '


St. Peter opened the Pearly Gates, and said:

'Run Forrest, run!'





Give me a sense of humor, Lord.

Give me the ability to understand a clean joke,

To get some humor out of life,

And to pass it on to other folks
__________________
CONFUSED AS A BABY IN A TOPLESS BAR
suprtruckr is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 9 Users Say Thank You to suprtruckr For This Useful Post:
Adra (06-04-2008), ahippiechic (06-04-2008), CLARKS4 (06-24-2008), ezmoney163 (06-24-2008), kybeauty (06-06-2008), luvcub (06-04-2008), magickay (06-05-2008), MsLynn (06-05-2008), Unicornmom77 (06-24-2008)
Sponsored Links
Old 06-04-2008, 10:58 AM   #2 (permalink)
Adra
Registered User
 
Adra's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 1,291
iTrader: (0)
Thanks: 814
Thanked 285 Times in 130 Posts
Adra has a reputation beyond reputeAdra has a reputation beyond reputeAdra has a reputation beyond reputeAdra has a reputation beyond reputeAdra has a reputation beyond reputeAdra has a reputation beyond reputeAdra has a reputation beyond reputeAdra has a reputation beyond reputeAdra has a reputation beyond reputeAdra has a reputation beyond reputeAdra has a reputation beyond repute
That was cute thank you
Adra is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-06-2008, 06:33 PM   #3 (permalink)
ma4angels
Registered User
 
ma4angels's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Over the Rainbow
Posts: 544
iTrader: (0)
Thanks: 163
Thanked 147 Times in 81 Posts
ma4angels has a reputation beyond reputema4angels has a reputation beyond reputema4angels has a reputation beyond reputema4angels has a reputation beyond reputema4angels has a reputation beyond reputema4angels has a reputation beyond reputema4angels has a reputation beyond reputema4angels has a reputation beyond reputema4angels has a reputation beyond reputema4angels has a reputation beyond reputema4angels has a reputation beyond repute
That was really cute.
ma4angels is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-24-2008, 04:41 AM   #4 (permalink)
ezmoney163
Ask me about Jesus!!
 
ezmoney163's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2003
Location: PA
Posts: 3,917
iTrader: (0)
Thanks: 5
Thanked 11 Times in 3 Posts
ezmoney163 has a reputation beyond reputeezmoney163 has a reputation beyond reputeezmoney163 has a reputation beyond reputeezmoney163 has a reputation beyond reputeezmoney163 has a reputation beyond reputeezmoney163 has a reputation beyond reputeezmoney163 has a reputation beyond reputeezmoney163 has a reputation beyond reputeezmoney163 has a reputation beyond reputeezmoney163 has a reputation beyond reputeezmoney163 has a reputation beyond repute
Loved it!! TY!!
__________________
Sometimes it is hard to let go of a memory, especially if you remind yourself of it everyday.
ezmoney163 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to ezmoney163 For This Useful Post:
Unicornmom77 (06-24-2008)
Old 06-24-2008, 10:26 AM   #5 (permalink)
Unicornmom77
Love leave me alone!
 
Unicornmom77's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: with the freaks n weirdos
Posts: 6,914
iTrader: (13)
Thanks: 3,609
Thanked 601 Times in 357 Posts
Unicornmom77 has a reputation beyond reputeUnicornmom77 has a reputation beyond reputeUnicornmom77 has a reputation beyond reputeUnicornmom77 has a reputation beyond reputeUnicornmom77 has a reputation beyond reputeUnicornmom77 has a reputation beyond reputeUnicornmom77 has a reputation beyond reputeUnicornmom77 has a reputation beyond reputeUnicornmom77 has a reputation beyond reputeUnicornmom77 has a reputation beyond reputeUnicornmom77 has a reputation beyond repute
Its all about perspective! I love it!
__________________
Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned,Nor hell a fury like a woman scorned.~William Congreve
Unicornmom77 is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On




All times are GMT -4. The time now is 08:04 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.1
Copyright ©2000 - 2009, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.0.0 RC6
© 2007, BigBigForums Inc.