Thread: Here I go again.....

.....moving! This time back up to Nashville. To make a long story short, this year has totally sucked!!!! I'm getting a divorce and getting the house in Nashville, so I gotta leave Florida & move back to Nashville., for at least a year. My husband (don't think I'll ever be able to call him my x-husband) is going to pay half the mortgage for a year, so I'll be able to save up money to fix up the house and decide if I want to keep it & stay in Nashville, or sell it and come back to Florida.
Definitely not looking forward to moving back up north in the dead of winter, but I am looking forward to seeing my Nashville friends again.
I'm really going to miss Florida, I've had such a great time here, connecting with all my old friends & making some great new ones who have really helped me out emotionally, mentally, spiritually & financially when I needed it the most.

Sorry to hear this. Is there anyway possible to save the marriage? Try everything you can do to get past this hard time together.

Originally Posted by wobblypops

Sorry to hear this. Is there anyway possible to save the marriage? Try everything you can do to get past this hard time together.

I've tried. I'm not the one who wants the divorce, he is. He's living in Seattle & I'm living here. When I came to Florida in April, I really thought that when they re-opened where he works in Nashville this March, that we would both move back there. The flood in May 2010 ruined my life. If that flood never happened, we'd still be living in Nashville in our happy little home, with our happy little marriage.
It's bull-sh!t., but it is what it is. Life goes on. And I guess I'm crazy, but I still think we'll be together again, maybe not in a year or two, but eventually we'll end up together. I've known him since I was 16, and been in love with him since the day we met. We dated for 2yrs in our mid-20s then broke up for 3yrs, then got back together, this May would have been our 8th Anniversary.

The flood devistated where my husband works, the buildings were nearly 8ft under-water and still not completely re-opened, so after the flood, his company transfered him to Seattle. I tried for 8 months to live there and just couldn't. It was the most depressing, horrible place I have ever been in my entire life. Living there was absolute misery, I couldn't take it another day, so I left for home ie:Florida. If the flood never happened, his job would still be there and we'd still be happily married.

I don't know anything about divorce. I have the papers here that I have to sign & send back to the lawyer. He's already sent me my "maintenance" check for the month (1/2 the mortgage payment), and I'm not even in back in the house yet.

I hope things work out for you, which ever way they may go.

I hate to bring up the obvious...but it sounds like he has someone else in his life right now. I'm so sorry because it sucks to love someone and they don't love you back. Particularly since he has been so much a part of your adult life. Hugs.

Originally Posted by mosdata1

Is Seattle def a no go for you? Maybe if you lived somewhere just outside of Seattle it could work?
Is distance the main reason for the divorce?
I don't remember if you work outside of your home, or not. If you don't, maybe you could try Seattle again during the Spring/Summer months & see how it works for you. There may be some sort of compromise/agreement you two could work out.

I wish I could take living in Seattle, but I can't & its not just the weather, its how the cities were designed, the traffic and the people. The 1st real day I was there, I was walking my dog, at the cross-walk, I had the right of way (the little white man was telling me to walk), so as I got about 7ft from the corner this older lady making a right hand turn about hit me, then flicked me off for having the right of way. The 2nd week I was there, I was at the post office, I had one ear-bud in my ear, listening to Metallica, so I was tapping on the counter, just waiting my turn, not bothering anyone and this woman in front of me says, " Do you have a problem?".., I take the ear-bud out of my ear and say, "Excuse me?"...she says, "Are you OK?" and I say "yes, why?"., she says "Because your tapping is really annoying." I was flabbergasted! And again, this was not a younger person, but a woman in her late 40s-early 50s. I then got into a nice little fight with her, it was brilliant., then 2 little cute Mormon boys came up behind me in line, and one of them starts tapping, so I bust out laughing and explain to him that tapping wasn't allowed in America anymore., or at least not Seattle. Unless you live there you can't understand the people. I have lived in 9 states and have vistied 37 states, and never in my life have I been treated like I was in Seattle. I am a Libertarian and if I had my choice, I would much rather live in a mostly Conservative city that a Liberal City anytime.
Unfortunately he likes it there. I can't understand why, then again he lived in California and Alaska, so he's used to the people and the climate.
Before his company transfered him, we were thinking of cities that we both liked or at least tolerated and none of those cities needed a manager, it was either Seattle or Omaha & there is no way I could take a winter in Omaha.

I make about 1/3 of my income of ebay & the rest I work full-time. After moving around so much these past 8yrs & not really HAVING to have a job with my husbands income, the last 8+yrs of my employment history is crap. But I found 4 jobs in 6 months. When I get up to Nashville, I'll go to work for my old boss.

The distance is not the only reason for the divorce. People change, at one time we wanted the same things, talked about it, dreamed together about it, then after awile he didn't have that dream anymore. I thought he wanted the same things I did, but it turns out he doesn't....and thats OK. I'm not mad at him by any means. We never fought, we still get along, there is mothing malicious about this whole thing.

Originally Posted by Kelsey1224

I hate to bring up the obvious...but it sounds like he has someone else in his life right now. I'm so sorry because it sucks to love someone and they don't love you back. Particularly since he has been so much a part of your adult life. Hugs.

In any other man, I couldn't agree with you more., that another woman has to be involved, but I assure you that is not the case. My husband is not that kind of a guy, he's hella shy and really weird about women. My husband and I are the most honest people you will ever meet, being both Scorpios we cannot stand lying., even if that lie spares someones feelings, so believe me if there was another woman he would tell me, because its against our nature not to tell the truth. After knowing him for over half my life, I KNOW HIM and I know that if there was another woman, he would tell me. Believe me, I asked! .,and he said he doesn't want to be with anyone for a long time, that after being single/alone for the first time in 8+yrs that his greatest joy is coming home from work to a nice quiet house, with no one there and sit in complete silence.

This is all just another transition in life, life changes all the time (at least for me it does ~ lol!) Believe me I do not sit around and sulk about what's happening in my life, because I know this is not the end. Even if we don't get back together, I know that he will always be my best friend, we were best friends for years before we got married, we'll be best-friends after the divorce. And, its not like I haven't gone on a few dates and that I don't go out., if anything I party too much! LOL!