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I'm so sorry to hear this. Thinking of you through this time. I hope things work out for you. Sounds like you are pretty at peace with this. *hugs*
If you don't want dumb answers, don't ask dumb questions
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01-10-2012 12:40 AM
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Hard way to start off the New Year...Hope all is okay with the home in Nashville and you are able to move back in with out any issues...
If I were you I would hire an attorney to check and read over the divorce papers...Even thou you say he is a good guy and all...Please make sure your needs are covered in the divorce decree...Make sure the home ownership is well spelled out...any alimony and the division of all or any marital assets is covered...Will he still provide health insurance for you and for how long...ect....Look out for yourself...I realize you trust him...but still CYA....
Also check what the laws are in TN VS Fl VS OR as far as divorces go...You will need to make sure what the laws say and abide by the state you are in...
It can be very sad when couples drift apart...But maybe someday your paths will cross again and you two can continue this journey together once more.
Let my haters be my motivators!
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Disasters have a way of bring out the best & worst in people. Some people accept the loss & work hard to get back to where they were while others just simply don't accept & retreat.
I wish you the best. I have always said I would never wish a divorce on anyone. It just rocks you to your core. Good luck but do not sign anything without a lawyer.
Insanity is hereditary. You get it from your kids.
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The Following User Says Thank You to sunniekiss For This Useful Post:
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Originally Posted by
dv8grl
In any other man, I couldn't agree with you more., that another woman has to be involved, but I assure you that is not the case. My husband is not that kind of a guy, he's hella shy and really weird about women. My husband and I are the most honest people you will ever meet, being both Scorpios we cannot stand lying., even if that lie spares someones feelings, so believe me if there was another woman he would tell me, because its against our nature not to tell the truth. After knowing him for over half my life, I KNOW HIM and I know that if there was another woman, he would tell me. Believe me, I asked! .,and he said he doesn't want to be with anyone for a long time, that after being single/alone for the first time in 8+yrs that his greatest joy is coming home from work to a nice quiet house, with no one there and sit in complete silence.
This is all just another transition in life, life changes all the time (at least for me it does ~ lol!) Believe me I do not sit around and sulk about what's happening in my life, because I know this is not the end. Even if we don't get back together, I know that he will always be my best friend, we were best friends for years before we got married, we'll be best-friends after the divorce. And, its not like I haven't gone on a few dates and that I don't go out., if anything I party too much! LOL!
I wish I could say I was glad to hear it wasn't another woman because, either way, you are losing the one you love. I am glad to be wrong though! But, I'm also glad you still have trust between the two of you and still care for each other. Divorce can be so ugly...even with the best intentions between the two parties. So, I'm hoping that your friendliness continues throughout the upcoming months. It will make things so much easier.
Never argue with an idiot. It will bring you down to his level and he’ll win because of experience.
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Glad it is not another woman but not glad to hear that you are divorcing. I do agree with others get your own attorney. Trust but confirm. Sending you good hugs and good wishes.
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I checked the divorce laws in 4 states, Alabama where we got married, Tennessee where our house is, Washington where he is and Florida for me. They are all pretty much the same. As far as maintenance (what they call alamony these days) its up to the courts to decide. In the papers as of now, it states that I get the car, he keeps his new truck (that he bought after I left Seattle), that I get the house and $350 a month for one year.
I also read that its not a common for a woman to get alimony, especially when there are no kids. Believe me, I think I deserve the house and to get $350 a month for LIFE! (if not more!)
Maybe I should contact a lawyer, I wouldn't even know what to do, would I have to get a loan to pay for his services? Do lawyers take credit cards?
Rudeness is the weak person's imitation of strength.
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Originally Posted by
dv8grl
I checked the divorce laws in 4 states, Alabama where we got married, Tennessee where our house is, Washington where he is and Florida for me. They are all pretty much the same. As far as maintenance (what they call alamony these days) its up to the courts to decide. In the papers as of now, it states that I get the car, he keeps his new truck (that he bought after I left Seattle), that I get the house and $350 a month for one year.
I also read that its not a common for a woman to get alimony, especially when there are no kids. Believe me, I think I deserve the house and to get $350 a month for LIFE! (if not more!)
Maybe I should contact a lawyer, I wouldn't even know what to do, would I have to get a loan to pay for his services? Do lawyers take credit cards?
Absolutely! You'll know more once you call one and see what and how they charge.
What Goes Around, Comes Around
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If you do not have a way to support yourself, then $350 for 1 year is really not that much. You will be surprised to see how quickly that year will pass. I would approach him about making the timeframe longer, but let him know that if/when you find a job, you would be willing to revisit the alimony issue.
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Honestly there isn't alimony now called spousal support. That is the down side to the womens liberbation movement. I received spousal support for 2 years until our divorce was final. IIRC the amount you receive depends on the length of the marriage, your personal work history & whether there are children involved. Lifetime support seldom happens now.
Wish you luck.
Just noticed you were married for 8 years so you don't even fall in the 10 year + 1 day rule. Have your own attorney.
Last edited by sunniekiss; 01-11-2012 at 11:09 AM.
Insanity is hereditary. You get it from your kids.
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My friend who lives in Utah, well, he was married for eighteen years. They were military and moved alot. Anyways, she HATED Utah and wanted to go back to CA. He was finishing his Masters and working as a civil servant on base at the time, he said he would stay there and finish school etc. two years and still living apart, seperate lives. Long story short....she gets $2400 a month for 19 years (retirement/civil pay) he had to pay her $10,000 for her part of a small house he bought a year and a half after she left, PLUS she is his sole beneficiary for ALL life insurance until he dies. Sure F'd it up for any other wife he might want.
I'll tell you, I wish I would have moved and filed for divorce from my ex in Utah LOL
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Well hope that you don't file for divorce in Florida since you have to be married a minimum of 15 years to get spousal support (have lots of friends that have gone through this). One friend even waited 6 months to file just so she could get the 15 years covered. I have to say $ 350.00 is nothing and I would get an attorney and you can have your soon to be ex pay for it since he is the one wanting a divorce.
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