Thread: Reverse Mortgages

Has anyone here ever done one & know someone who did? I am considering doing this for my Mom. She keeps saying she wants to move in with me but I heard this for the past 3 years & then she changes her mind so I fully expect the same thing to happen come May.

My Mom suffers from "Princess Syndrome". She has never worked a day in her life, never paid a bill or wrote out a check. She wanted something...my Dad got it for her. He passed & Princess became my responsibility. She doesn't understand how her annunitys don't have as much money as they used to. She has been taking money from them monthly for 25 years. Oil is now almost $4.00/gallon.

All I know is I can't keep making up her shortages every month on my salary. My siblings...they are "too broke" to help but then again what help have they been in for the past 12 years?

Breathe.....

In theory I think thats a great idea. The equity in her property is hers, she should be using her own funds for her needs. You have your family and needs and to unnecessarily use your funds for her....that's not fair to you. I'm sure when it's time to disperse her estate, your contributions over the years would not be taken into consideration with your siblings. If she had no equity otherwise, I'd have a different opinion.

I have never had any experience nor direct knowledge with reverse mortgages, so I can't help you there. If you have a trusted family attorney, I'd ask him his opinion and what firm to go with.

My Mom has that Princess Syndrome too!!!!! UGH! I dont want her living with ME!!! We would totally kill each other!!!! LOL My Mom has a tax guy and he was totally against the reverse mortgage in her case....of course she wouldnt ask why. I would LOVE for her to sell the house (its a HUGE house on a corner lot in the city! and Princess cant be bothered with doing any maintence so it needs a ton of work) and find a condo or something more manageable but she wont. I am living with her for a week before I move and its a nightmare!!!!!!

HUGS and good luck!!!!!

Find out what your siblings feel about this idea and it will give you an idea of what they are after when she passes. If they are totally against it then you know they are worried about the house.
My uncle has one and both of his kids know that they do not want his house when he goes so it works for everyone. I know he doesn't get much from it every month though, it is hardly worth it. In order to save the house you will be responsible for paying off what was essentially "borrowed" from it.
I do agree that she should look into selling and going somewhere that would be easier on everyone. assisted living can be very expensive but it could work in her situation. Does she have room to take in a person to help around the house in exchange for free room and board? There are a lot of options.
She is lucky to have you to look after her best interest!!!

We siblings have discussed asisted living but Mom is dead-set against it. She is still in her right mind so I can't force her. She views assisted living as nursing home where her Mom passed away so right now that won't happen. It would really be the best option for her because she would be eating right & getting her meds and be around people her own age BUTTT...the Princess Syndrome would kick in & if she isn't Queen Bee she won't be happy. Unhappy Mom means miserable me.
I spoke to her financial advisor. He suggested we use up her annunity first. Sure I can do that BUT I am now going to have to double-up on the amount she currently takes & if things keep going the way they are economically she will be tapped-out in maybe 3 years. Then I am left to do this witha near 90 year old.
I did speak with my attorney who said it would be a viable option & he will be looking over paperwork before she signs anything.
My siblings won't help at all. Last week Mom was having one of her "moods" because I had to say "NO" to a request so when she does this she won't answer her phone thinking it's me. My sister who lives 10 blocks from Mom called me because she had been trying to call Mom for 2 hours. Okay...why didn't you go down & check on her instead of calling me??? You have a key & I live 10 miles away.
Sandy...condos selling that cheap...I may look into buying one for my retirement home House values have stayed pretty constant up here but right now she doesn't want to sell.