Thread: big problem in the family, i need advice...

Yes, mum's the word. It's their business, their life......sometimes what people like and feel comfortable with is dysfunction...... You will be the loser if you get in the middle, let them work it out. They've been together for 25 years...they are not strangers to each other.

It's hard I know, because you obviously love both, but let it be.

You have to do what is right for you and what feels right for you. Its easy to sit here and say do this or do that but none of us are in those circumstances that you are. Sometimes loyality is over rated. My BIL is a pretty good fellow (don't tell him that...lol.) If my sister was totally dumping on him after all these years and is a drunk...well that is a very tough decision. Especially since he puts his son first and takes care of the family. I really don't think I would "rat" my sister out but I would think about it. I know I would be ticked at her and let her know that but I am sure I would not tell my BIL. I love my BIL but I love my sister more. Its something that you have to live with either way, if you do or don't tell your BIL. Not an easy road you are about to hoe. Good luck!!!

If I said anything to anyone, it would be the son. He needs to know or at least be forwarned that things are going to change soon.

I said to not say anything considering a divorce is coming anyway. Why create more issues. If the hubby does NOT know about the affair (which I totally doubt) then that could open up another can of worms when it comes time for the divorce.

Originally Posted by tngirl

I said to not say anything considering a divorce is coming anyway. Why create more issues. If the hubby does NOT know about the affair (which I totally doubt) then that could open up another can of worms when it comes time for the divorce.

Good point.

I personally would keep my mouth shut. I would never betray someones confidence.

But you have to do what you feel is right! Good Luck!

I agree with everyone, I would stay out of it.

Be like Switzerland & stay out of it. Trust me on this. As someone who had a 25 year marriage fall apart due to my ex's drinking & affair.

It took me 5 years to even speak to my oldest brother who, nope not even going to go there. Let's just say it split my entire family apart until I forgave my brother. My brother, on his part, still has not forgiven himself for his part. For your sake, say out of it & try to get your sister the help she desparately needs.