Thread: saw my neighbors husband out with another woman

Just be prepared like someone stated on here for "War Of The Neighbors". In my 20's my mom's neighbor was having a fling w/the guy that lived right next door to them. I'm not sure how the husband found out....no one in the neighborhood really knew anything about it....you didn't see them together, not at each others home and so on.

Well, the husband found out and there was a shootout (literally) right there in the cul-de-sac where my mother lived. No one got hurt but police were called and people taken to jail. The woman went back to her husband and the neighbor guy moved away. I'll never forget that as long as I live. I was visiting my mom one weekend when this all happened.

I personally would tell her. I think she has the right to know and to make her own decisions on what to do. Some people don't believe it at first...until it keeps happening.

If you're hesitant to do it in person like someone suggested write her a note/letter and explain the circumstances upon which you saw this man w/another woman. You do have the proof since your husband was w/you when it happened. If she still doesn't believe it.....leave it alone....it's her business.

Good luck whatever you decide to do.

Originally Posted by ahippiechic

Yeah that. I'd tell because I would want to be told. Be prepared tho, she might end up pissed at YOU instead of him. Sometimes people are weird.....

I totally agree. If you do decide to tell her then YOU have to pay the consequences of her anger because YOU were the one to burst her bubble. (I know you have already decided, but if you happen to change your mind...if you two are good neighbors then she would take it out on you and probably ruin your relationship, but she deserves to know what an low-down ass her husband is.)

Originally Posted by jasmine

also

you said your husband was with you, did he notice? I mean, does he know your neighbor, and what does he think about it?

I was just thinking the same thing...

I would definitely want to know and I say tell her. If you want to stay somewhat removed from it, I agree with others who say just send her a anonymous letter or something along those lines. I would give details in the letter, such as where you saw him, name of restaurant, town, etc. That way she can do what she wants with the info. It may confirm what she already suspects and hopefully she will follow him and see it with her own two eyes.

Originally Posted by jasmine

If you care for her, or are friends etc.. I would tell, but it would be wierd, because if you tell her, her husband is going to know that it was you that told her.
Maybe I would just say somethin' like, I heard you need to keep an eye on your husband, the word is..... I don't know, it all depends on your relationship with this woman.
But if I found out that my DH was cheating on me, and my friend knew about it the whole time, and didn't tell me, I would most definitly be pissed at her, that would be like breaking the friendship.

I would not say that, it leaves the impression that people are gossiping and talking about them and it's all over town. (and that I was included in gossiping as well)

I'd let her think it was private (not all over town) to save her some dignity. She'll appreciate not feeling humiliated by all to see.

Had it been me, I would have walked right up to him and said hello and acted like I thought nothing of it or and sort of put the ball in HIS court and listen to what he was going to say to you. It also would have made him worry on whether you were going to tell his wife or what story He would have to tell his wife. I had this happen to me and that is exactly what I did. I just acted so innocent and said, WOW, we can't go anywhere that we don't run into someone from home. Where is - and i mentioned his wife's name? He sputtered and turned red and just did not know what to do. He eventually told his wife and she booted him out. His wife asked me and I just said, I just figured he was with someone on business and I did ask where you were. Never dawned on me to even think he was with a girlfriend. This is weird but I am still friends with both of them.

Originally Posted by jasmine

also

you said your husband was with you, did he notice? I mean, does he know your neighbor, and what does he think about it?

Yes my husband knows this neighbor. They've been living across the street from us about 15 years. He wants me to stay out of it. But who knows, men do tend to stick together. We live on a dead in street. There are 4-5 of us women who get together maybe once a month for coffee, not always the same 4 or 5, and sometimes we just gather in one of the yards. This couple is about 10 yrs younger than us. I am begining to think our neighborhood is a little Peyton Place. We have been in this house about 36 years and in that time there have been a number of "situations". But this is the first time I have been an actual witness to any of it. At this time, I still intend to keep quiet. If she were to say to me that she thought her husband was cheating, then I might tell her or if I knew he had gotten caught another time, I might confirm it. At this time, I just don't think she even suspects because like I said before , she has told us all before about how many business dinners he has. I do feel torn and I would want someone to tell me but I do know this would cause a mess in the neighborhood. I just hope to heck he doesn't tell her about running into us because I think she would think it strange that we ran into him 75 miles from home and I didn't mention it to her.