Soo..would you stay..... or not?

**mariem** · 11-16-2009, 10:54 PM

Been considering it for some time now, breaking up that is. After 3 years together...(and living together for 99% of it) my bf has forgotten my birthday for the 2nd time. He only remembered the first time, because someone else mentioned it...2nd birthday he completely forgot, then told me was planning on working on my car (as my belated present)...fixing it...which i would have been THRILLED with...yet NEVER did it..never even looked at it...and now..this year...no mention once again. :-(

I am not looking for expensive gifts or anything of that nature, but I'm the type of person who remembers everyones birthday and goes out of my way to find something unique to them that I think they would like...even if it is just an inexpensive little something. I'm not even expecting THAT from him...but not to even mention "hey happy birthday", or promising a gift that never even comes close to happening, just shows a real lack of concern. Am I wrong? I don't mean to sound self-centered...what's your opinion.

**Advertisement** · 11-16-2009 10:54 PM

**speedygirl** · 11-16-2009, 11:42 PM

How does he treat you the rest of the time? Is this the only reason you'd break it off or are there other problems? Some people just suck at birthdays but are great in every other aspect. In some families celebrating birthdays are a big deal and other families, not so much. You have to look at the big picture and not base your decision on the birthday thing.

**Quaker_Parrots** · 11-17-2009, 02:38 AM

Do you love him? I am sorry, but if my DH forgot my birthday, it would be no big deal. I love him very much, and wouldnt leave him for such a trivial matter. We really dont even buy gifts for each other anymore. We just say "Happy Birthday" and that is it. We have kids, they get presents, that is what our priority is, to make it happen for our kids.

He could do far worse things than forget your birthday. It seems to me you aren't happy in your relationship and are looking for an excuse to leave. If this is the case, you need to be up front and honest with him that you aren't happy and quit trying to look for excuses, and tell him you want out.

**dv8grl** · 11-17-2009, 04:38 AM

Have you told him how you feel, that it hurts your feelings when he forgets your birthday, & then when he "forgets" to work on your car, do you remind him?
You can't expect a man to remember everything, you have to remind him.

***DAVESBABYDOLL*** · 11-17-2009, 05:22 AM

It depends on how he treats you the rest of the time. Forget his birthday

**freeby4me** · 11-17-2009, 05:42 AM

Most guys do NOT remember stuff like this. They dont notice when you change your hair or get a new outfit either.

If you want him to remember, tell him every single day for a month in advance and tell him what you're expecting him to do.

**Freebeemom** · 11-17-2009, 05:53 AM

Sorry, but if your little voice is teilling you that something isn't right...why are you forcing it? I wouldn't put myself through this if I didn't have to. I was in a relationship like this for a few years and honestly, was teh best thing when I left. I know at the time, you don't think you can do any better but you can. Why settle when you are looking for something else?
Personally, I would rather be alone than deal with someone who is shallow.

**jasmine** · 11-17-2009, 06:46 AM

Sounds like you are looking for little excuses out, or any at that matter. Which, means you really don't want this relationship anymore.
Men are like that (not all, but ALOT). Just something you gotta get use to. If you don't like it, then talk to him. But I am guessing theres more to it than this, and that you are looking for any excuse to get out right now.
Not bad, just means your not happy, and don't want it anymore..!

**sunniekiss** · 11-17-2009, 08:42 AM

Is not receiving a birthday present the biggest problem in your relationship? If he is a great guy other than that consider yourself lucky. Sounds to me though that you have other issues & you are looking at this for a reason to leave.

My EX never gave me a birthday present in 25 years but that is not why he is now my EX husband. His excuse for no birthday present is that my birthday is in January & my Christmas present included my birthday. I would go out on my birthday for a nice lunch & buy my own birthday present.

I left him b/c he was an abusive drunk who refused to he had a problem.

My advise to you is to weigh the pros & cons of staying in the relationship and do what is best for you!

**DreamWarrior** · 11-17-2009, 09:46 AM

My bf doesnt forget my birthday, he just never gets me what I want even if I am EXTREMELY specific about what I want... LOL but I would never leave him for that.... that would be pretty petty if you ask me...

This decision is entirely YOURS to make. It really doesnt matter what anyone else's opinion is. If you aren't happy with him forgetting your birthday, tell him about it. You cant expect him to be a mind reader...

Basically I guess what I'm trying to say is communication is key in a relationship, if you dont communicate with each other, you probably wont be together much longer anyway, whether he remembers your birthday or not...

**cabby92** · 11-17-2009, 10:28 AM

My DH is terrible about presents. He always means to do something but never quite makes it to the store. Then every few years he does something so wonderful it doesn't matter. One year he forgot to get me a Christmas present (I do all the other shopping) but then two days after Christmas contractors showed up to put in the fireplace I'd been dreaming of. Last year he never got around to getting me a birthday present (in August) so this year I totally ignored his in February. It took everything I had not to do anything. Mid summer this year he pulled out a wad of cash and told me he knew how much I wanted a new laptop and to go buy the one I wanted.

You know something? Those special things he does mean more than any forced gift. He's good to the kids and the cats just love him. If he never gets my birthday right he's still a keeper.

Oh yeah, last year we both forgot our anniversary. We are truly pathetic.

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