Thread: Medical information and son...

Medical information and son whom was put up for adoption by my Ex-Wife:

My son now 22 years old contacted me last Thanksgiving. WE talked twice and after our second conversation he requested that I not contact him. However since then new medical information about my side of the family has come to my knowledge. He and his sister NEED this information as it has the potential to be life threatening if treatment and or surgery is not done. A great aunt, great uncle, uncle, myself, grandfather have all had to have the surgery. My youngest daughter will need the surgery when she turns 18 and son is being evaluated in the next few weeks for surgery need when he becomes an adult in 3 years. This is imperative.

One month ago I sent an envelope with the new family medical information in it and some information about his mother that he asked for in November but I did not have until I investigated and found. Postal Office only left a notice that a package was waiting for him to pick up but as of this morning I got a notice that the USPS is sending the package back to me as not picked up...I know he still lives where I sent the package but need to make sure he recieves the information.

Any other ideas to make sure son gets the information whether or not he wants it.

TIA

I would try calling if you have his number, if nothing else leave a voice mail or message that this is imperative and medically important for him and his kids or future kids. Good luck, must be hard to be in your shoes.

If you have his email, let him know that you're sending important medical info. Use a return receipt program and you'll know if he's read it. If he has and doesn't respond, respect that. Send a letter via regular mail that doesn't require a signature stating the same thing. Again, if he doesn't respond, let it go. He'll know the info is available and it'll then be up to him to get it from you.
He may interpret this as you trying to insinuate yourself into his life after he already requested that you not contact him. Like I said, just mail him the info via regular mail (the chances it doesn't arrive would be slim) and you would have done your part.
I don't remember exactly how you got back in touch but was there another family member involved that could pass the info on?


ETA;

I found the post I was referring to. http://www.bigbigforums.com/religion...ood-thing.html

You might want to get in touch with him via the same method you initially did.

I'd send it to him regular mail, marked on the outside "important medical information - please open"

How about Fedex, UPS or HDL? I think you can get tracking #'s with them also. Might cost a little more but it would be well worth it.

I say let sleeping dogs lie. He has refused, (he didn't go to PO to get the letter) contact with you. Respect his wishes. Maybe eventually he will come around. Then you can let him know. I imagine this is really a tough situation. I am sorry he has to go through it as well as I am sorry for you.

Have to agree with Mary...

Ok now that I am ok I can respond to you. I'm sorry I have been such a ***** to you about this situation as I am in a similiar situation only backwards. I WANT to know my father and he won't accept me. So..I'm jaded. I see you as him and I am sorry.

Anyway...You should try and maybe contact him the same way you did before, through myspace right? They have a thing in the sent folder where you can see if it was read or not. Either that or try UPS to deliver it TO his house with something on the outside stating it is important medical information. Short of actually going to his house I don't know what to tell you. I am sorry you are in this situation and I am trying to not think of you as MY scumbag loser father when you post things like this.

Originally Posted by April78945

Ok now that I am ok I can respond to you. I'm sorry I have been such a ***** to you about this situation as I am in a similiar situation only backwards. I WANT to know my father and he won't accept me. So..I'm jaded. I see you as him and I am sorry.

Anyway...You should try and maybe contact him the same way you did before, through myspace right? They have a thing in the sent folder where you can see if it was read or not. Either that or try UPS to deliver it TO his house with something on the outside stating it is important medical information. Short of actually going to his house I don't know what to tell you. I am sorry you are in this situation and I am trying to not think of you as MY scumbag loser father when you post things like this.

Honestly I do see things your way. I want to respect his wishes. And have not contacted his 20yo sister as he requested. However, this medical information is life of death. If some family members would have known this they would have corrected the problems earlier. Even a few of our doctors have indicated that if they would have known the information earlier they would have recommended correction. One more sister and brother are having the surgery in the next month to improve overall health and perhaps prolong life.

Would your doctor's office be willing to send something to him?

Sorry you are going through such a thing. I am saddened in thinking of how hard this must be for you.

They *DON'T* contact him. Let another member of your family send it. Send only the medical information and the information he asked for. Nothing else. I have a brother that my mother put up for adoption. He has never blatantly said "don't contact" to me or anyone else but the only person he really truly wants to see is my Memaw... so we have just let it go. If he ever decides he's ready, he can let us know.