Thread: Am I too overprotective??

Okay so I admit that when he was younger, my son was very sheltered but the world is crazy these days!! My son was a premie and wasn't supposed to make it and once he did, they said he would be in a vegetate(sp) state for his life. So, I have been pretty strict but I am getting better. I even let him ride his bike to the store 3 blocks away lol.

So, he's not allopwed to date until he's 16. He's my baby and God knows what I was doing at 13. I like to think that I am a smarter parent than mine were. I forgot to mention that he's 14 for the ones that don't know.

I allow him to talk on the phone limited to girls from school. Last week, he comes home from school bragging that he has a girlfriend and he can't wait for me to meet her cause she is FINE. I said, ha, you don't even know what that word means.

So, I am nosey from time to time and can hit a button on my base phone and hear the conversation on the other handset. I only do this because of a incident several months back, where he threatend this kid.

Anways, this chickie on the other end was telling him she wanted to give a BJ at lunch and I flipped. No more girls!!!!!! Atleast till he's 30 lol.

He says I am being unfair and I need to let him live his life lmao. Zane is slower than kids his age and his mentality level is about 11 years of age so I am always watching his back.

Did I overreact or what would you have done??

Anways, this chickie on the other end was telling him she wanted to give a BJ at lunch and I flipped. No more girls!!!!!! Atleast till he's 30 lol.

Holy cow! If he's 14, how old is she?

My dd is turning 13....you ladies are making me very nervous......:

nope!

that's inappropriate behavior on the part of the other child, and you have the right to control what is being shown/given/done to your child until that child reaches majority.

Good for you to stand up and parent

as far as listening in on the conversation -- my Dad was very guilty of that with us kids... and it was at a time when all phones were corded, so you could pick up the other handset very quietly and listen in without anyone knowing...used to bug me, but now, as a parent I understand why it was done.

oh hunny, were in it together, lock them up in there rooms, take away the phones and throw away the key.
It's raging hormones, and I have to remember what it was like when I was a teenager... but I don't want to, cause ya know, this is about my kid, not me LOL

like you say he has the mentallity of a 11 year old, then yeah, I could see where he could be gullable... I would have done the same thing, were all human and it's so easy to act out on the spur of the moment.

Good for you!! He's only 14, which I'm guessing in 8th, 9th grade? Way tooooo young

OMG I would have FLIPPED out too!!!! I dont think you are being overprotective AT ALL!

My DS is only 11 but girls are CONSTANTLY calling him. UGH! I am so not ready for any of this. I do monitor his internet and phone. And we talk about anything and everything. So far he is just annoyed with girls....I hope it stays that way for a LONG time! LOL

Someone on a talk show last year dealt with this exact problem... Oprah I think it was. Anyway, it was 'determined' that the correct thing to do was contact the girls mother, and let her know what her daughter said.

You know, sex is gonna happen, you can't build a big enough fence to keep him in, but, you can help him choose 'better' people to hang with. Someone coming up preggers in a few years is not funny at all.

Personally, I am stunned at how girls act nowdays.............

I was gonna say call the girls parents but Char already posted...hehe. WOW a BJ at his age? Does he even know what one is? I was naive when I was younger. I had no idea about sex or anything associated with sex until I was at least 17 and out of high school. You are not being over protective, she is being overly sexual. I tell yah, I have 2 sons (19 & 16) and at any given time there is always "extra" teenagers at our house. I have observed both male and females. And I must say girls now days are really trampy. I look at how some of them dress and for the life of me I can't understand what their parents are thinking. Allowing them to go out in public like that. When I see a teenaged girl out with her mother and she is dressed trampy, I just wanna grab her mom by the hair and shake some sense into her.
You are a good mommy Michelle. If your son is mad at you, better yet says he "hates" you, then you are doing your job.

I dont think you are wrong. Yes he might be 14 PHYSICALLY, but like you said, not mentally or emotionally. And just for shiz and giggles, lets say he did have the mentality of a 14 yr old, ok maybe having a g/f " at school" isnt so bad, but her telling him she wants to give him a bj is just wayyyyy out of line, and they are both way too young for that. I have twins ( boy/girl) that will be 11 in June, I also have a 14 yr old son and I cannot imagine them talking or doing things like that. I know my 14 yr old knows what that stuff is, I would freak out if I heard him talk like that to a girl, or a girl talk like that to him. My oldest is almost 18, and his g/f either comes to my house, or he goes to his g/fs. We as parents constantly check on them. Its our job to protect our children from ho's-- male or female. Keep up the good work mom

I don't have any children but I can tell you that at 13, 14, 15 I was terrified of becoming pregnant. Remember that saying "keep your legs crossed and on the floor"? I truly knew what that meant.

I would call the girls mother and let her know what's going on. It's going to happen sooner or later....hopefully later. I made a pact with my mother at 10 that I would not do "anything" that she would be ashamed of til I was old enough to understand what the consequences of my actions were. I held true to that til I was almost 18.

1. I'd been dating the same person for almost 5 years.
2. I was getting ready to graduate from high school.
3. Getting ready to go off to college.
4. Had been having my "own" money for sometime and knew and understood what things cost.

5. I'm glad that I waited and didn't rush into anything. It still holds a special place in my heart when I do think about it.

I wouldn't lock anyone up or threaten to. However, I'd have a long, hard, cold talk about the what if's of it all. I didn't even know what a "bj" was til I was over 20!!!. Plus the fact I wasn't interested in sex til I was older. I wanted to do other "bad things" like smoke, go riding with the boys, go to the beach when told not to go, stay out later than I was supposed to. All that seems like nothing compared to today.......I think, anyway.

Good luck whatever you decide. I know it's hard with children nowadays.

My niece who's 6 asked me the other day what a penis was? I know my mouth dropped to the floor when she said it. I asked her where she heard the word....a girl at school told her. She then proceeded to tell me that I'd been calling her brothers PENIS his ding a ling and that was wrong. We straightened that right out. I told her that some, not all parents talk that way. She shouldn't be asking questions to strangers if she wants an answer ask her mother or even ask me. Don't ask your friends. They'll get you in trouble more than likely. They did in my day, at least. I always was told "Ask your mom".

I'm sure you're a great momma. You're only doing what you think is best for your son. Best of luck. I hated being a teenager I think. Been so long ago I can't remember much of my teenage years anymore....Or I'm not telling.....lol.