Thread: Update!!! I found my son!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What did I miss about his knees? 16 yos should have very healthy knees, young & strong bones & muscles.

Sounds like neglect on his father's part to me too.

Keep us posted.

Originally Posted by NL1720

I will have to talk with my attorney on Monday and see what needs to be done at this point. Let's just say that life at home has not been a pleasant one for him and he barely lives there now, he mainly stays at his friend's homes so he doesn't have to deal with his dad and "wife". That's all I'll say about that. But my Son has a bigtime understanding that if he EVER needs me, no matter what time of day or night, I am there for him asap!

His dad has neglected to care for him. He is definitely going to need surgery in both of his knees, he can't even handle stairs or stand more than 1/2 hour at once without being in pain.

Ultimately, it needs to be my Son's decision...the school year ends at the end of this month. Who knows what will happen.

I'm just really mad with his dad. Practically the whole time we were together yesterday, he's text messaging him with guilt trips and that I'm out to get something from him and that he's only seeing his Mom (me) to hurt him. I could care less if I run into him, he has nothing to do with this but that's the way it is...always about him. Needless to say the evening ended on a somber note but he's not gonna let his dad stop him from getting together with us. But I swear...if he EVER hits my Son again -

NL..ask your son straight out if he wants to live with you....it does sound like he has been neglected and now that the 2 of you have found each other...don't let him get away...put the offer on the table to your son that you would love for him to live with you and THEN let him make the decision. That boy is your blood..you are his mother..you need to take a stand in his defense if he is being mistreated..it's your job to look after him and protect him...go for custody .

Originally Posted by lassss

NL..ask your son straight out if he wants to live with you....it does sound like he has been neglected and now that the 2 of you have found each other...don't let him get away...put the offer on the table to your son that you would love for him to live with you and THEN let him make the decision. That boy is your blood..you are his mother..you need to take a stand in his defense if he is being mistreated..it's your job to look after him and protect him...go for custody .

I did ask him and he doesn't have any plans to move. I wish he would because we can take much better care of him here. I'm going to work on getting him added to our insurance so he can get the medical care he needs for his knees. I don't know what is wrong with them and he don't know either. All he was told by his gym teacher was that he needs to build up more muscle tissue on his knee caps - those tend to slide around. My DD just went through that surgery this past January on one of her knees and she's all better now. But back to what I was saying: I think he has no intensions of moving because he has alot of friends where he is and with his dad not caring, he pretty much comes and goes as he pleases. He's been know to stay at his friend's houses for a few weeks. My guess is that the friend's parents know somewhat of the circumstances he has at home. We live about 35 miles away/40 minutes away from where he lives now. I would let him have those freedoms but he doesn't want to move. I'll just have to take this one day at a time (with very much worry and concern). He knows to call me ASAP if there's any trouble at home and I will come get him. I will also be speaking with my lawyer come Monday about this and see what I can do to better protect him. I'm not sure what I can do at this point since he doesn't want to leave.

Anyone have an opinion as to what I should do here? He's not really intending to move anywhere. Comments?

Originally Posted by NL1720

Anyone have an opinion as to what I should do here? He's not really intending to move anywhere. Comments?

hmmm that's a tough one to call since he doesn't want to move away from his friends....my son and I moved to the next county and into a new school system and we had a long talk and he just hates it in the new school....so I made a deal with him that I would let him go back to his old school which is about 25 miles from where we live because I still work close to his school as long as he can get up a half an hour earlier to go with me in the morning. The other option (LOL Which is NOT an option in my book) is to let him live with his father who lives near the school. I dunno what your circumstances are but is it an option for you to have him live with you and still let him go to the same school?? Or is it possible to move closer to him?

Originally Posted by lassss

hmmm that's a tough one to call since he doesn't want to move away from his friends....my son and I moved to the next county and into a new school system and we had a long talk and he just hates it in the new school....so I made a deal with him that I would let him go back to his old school which is about 25 miles from where we live because I still work close to his school as long as he can get up a half an hour earlier to go with me in the morning. The other option (LOL Which is NOT an option in my book) is to let him live with his father who lives near the school. I dunno what your circumstances are but is it an option for you to have him live with you and still let him go to the same school?? Or is it possible to move closer to him?

Well, he would probably need a car because I couldn't drive him there and back. I'm gonna stay focused for now on getting the surgery that he needs. It's gonna be a big enough fight for his dad to sign an agreement.

if it was me i dont think i would put any extra pressure on him sounds like he has enough..and wouldnt want to push him til he thought his dad was right you wanted something from him...cause that is how kids think...and let me say very nice looking young man.....sounds like he is grown up for his age and been lookin out for himself for sometime...its a good thing he has friends that are that good and their parents must know how hard it is for him or they wouldnt let him stay extended days like that...hope you get his knee surgery...and goodluck and congrats on finding him and reuniting him and his sister...

(((HUGS)))) I am glad you two are reunited!