By Amy Spencer
1. Henry VIII
Talk about picky! The 16th-century English king had no problem scoring women and even married six of them. But if they bore him daughters instead of sons, he dropped them like hot potatoes. Some he just divorced or had banished from his court, but the unluckiest ones (second wife Anne Boleyn and fifth wife Katherine Howard) he had executed... Ouch. Sorry, Henry, don't think that's what was meant by 'til death do you part.
2. Donald Trump
If you can put a price on love, Donald Trump will still get it at a discount. Though the real-estate mogul has a net worth of about $2.6 billion, he pulled some tricks out of his own tome, The Art of the Deal, by haggling for his honey's engagement ring. Instead of paying the full $1.5 million for fiancée Melania Knauss' 15-carat diamond ring, he paid only half to jeweler Tony Graff in return for the gem's appearance on The Apprentice. Donald, doesn't half-price only buy you half-love?
3. Mick Jagger
Now, we understand sex goes hand in hand with rock and roll on the road, but when is this 61-year-old rocker going to pull over? The Rolling Stones frontman can't seem to stop fathering kids en route, and now has seven children with four different women, ranging from age 24 (Karis, with singer Marsha Hunt) to a wee five (Lucas, with Brazilian model Luciana Gimenez Morad). And the girlfriends in-between—including actress Sophie Dahl—are as young as his kids. You're already a grandfather, Mick. Satisfaction coming any time soon?
4. Tony Soprano
We often can't help feeling a soft spot for television's toughest guy, but geez, Tony, can you not be faithful for five minutes to Carmela? For five seasons, we've had to watch him not-so-secretly cheat on his wife with a Russian, a depressed career-woman, and the strippers in the back room of the Bada Bing!—not to mention hitting on his own therapist! Carmela kicked the lug out last year, but took him back when he promised to stop hitting the sheets with other women. "I swear to you on our children," he told her, "that my midlife crisis problems will no longer intrude on you anymore." Somehow, Tony, we don't believe you.
5. Justin Timberlake
Guys aren't usually the ones to kiss and tell, but in November 2002, this one told the whole country during a TV interview. Months after Justin and his Mickey Mouse Club co-star Britney Spears had broken up, the boy-bander was asked if Britney had kept to her promise to save herself for marriage. Justin took the low road and answered, "Sure, sure," so sarcastically that Brit's good-girl bubble was burst. Britney was forced to fess up later, telling the press, "I thought he was the one. But I was wrong. I didn't think he was gonna go on Barbara Walters and sell me out!" Cry us a river, Justin, that wasn't your dirt to dish.
6. Pat Buchanan
This famously conservative political commentator married Nixon's secretary Shelley Ann Scarney in 1971, and we can only assume she's been doing the dishes for him ever since. In his 1990 memoir Right From The Beginning, Pat made it clear that he's not the least bit open to the idea of equal, loving partnerships, saying, "The real liberators of American women were not the feminist noise-makers, they were the automobile, the supermarket, the shopping center, the dishwasher, the washer-dryer, the freezer." Clearly, he likes the little ladies at home with an apron and a bottle of Mr. Clean. But feeling liberated? Hardly.
7. Robert Johnson
The way this blues singer moans and wails about women, you'd think love was the death of us all. Sure, he had some horrible luck in his love life: His first wife Virginia died in childbirth, and legend has it that Robert died at age 27 after a woman's jealous husband poisoned him. But the misery in his music is even worse as he moans lines like, "Leavin' this mornin'…I've been mistreated, baby and I don't mind dyin'." After lyrics like that, we need a big lovey hug from Richard Simmons!
8. Matt Damon
Some people find out they've been dumped by phone, some by Post-it, and others when their boyfriends announce it on Oprah! In 1998, Matt wasn't even asked about his relationship with Good Will Hunting co-star Minnie Driver, but he chose to tell Oprah and her 20 million viewers he had news anyway: They'd broken up. According to Minnie, that's the first she'd heard of it! Even if, as Matt claimed, they split ten days before his Oprah appearance, it wasn't right to turn daytime television into his personal love press conference. So much for good will, Matt.
9. Ralph Kramden
He's one of the most beloved icons of our time, but we have a bone to pick with the lovable loud-mouth. The Honeymooner got the biggest chuckles when he pumped his fist at his wife Alice and said, "To the moon, Alice," and "One of these days, Alice, one of these days. Pow! Right in the kisser!" Yes, Ralph, we heard the laugh track, but the truth is, threatening to pop a woman just isn't that funny.
10. Howard Stern
This radio shock jock has always touted his monogamy, first with Alison Stern, his ex-wife, and now with girlfriend Beth Ostrosky. Yet he spends his daily four-hour morning show talking women into stripping for him, spraying whipped cream on their bodies and having girl-on-girl encounters in front of him. Who the heck approved this look-but-don't-touch policy? Yes, you make us laugh, but your alleged fidelity isn't worth much when you treat every other woman that way.
Amy Spencer writes often about love and relationships. She's happy to report that most of the men she knows give love a great name.
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Article courtesy of Happen magazine,
www.happenmag.com.
10 men who give love a bad name
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