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"Save the drama for your mama."---LOL
Posted on Sun, Oct. 03, 2004
Let your shirt do the talking
I have a major fear of flying. So last month, when I went on a little vacation, I borrowed a stack of People magazines from The Eagle's library.
My reasoning was that a little mindless gawking at the paparazzi's latest work would surely keep my mind from drifting into its usual in-flight frenzy.
It worked for the most part. The plane stayed airborne, but my mind worked itself into a frenzy anyway when the magazines began to reveal a curious celebrity trend.
Movie stars, perhaps rebelling against the photographers who stalk them and the public who dissects their personal lives, have started letting their clothing do their back-talking.
The more poorly behaved the celebrity, the more likely he or she is to participate in this trend.
Britney Spears, for example, has one of the most talkative wardrobes in America. Recently, she's been photographed wearing a skin-tight tank top that reads "Mrs. Federline," a reference to her skeezy-looking fiance (husband?) Kevin Federline.
She's got another one that answers those who would refer to Mr. Federline as skeezy. The back of the shirt reads, "He's the one." The front says, "How could I say no?"
And just in case her tops aren't chatty enough, Spears has also acquired a studded belt buckle that implies she might not care what we think. It says... well, I can't say what it says in a family newspaper.
Then there's Paris Hilton, who seems to be recovering from her Backstreet Boy breakup by venting her feelings on her chest.
It's been fascinating to track her range of emotions through her wardrobe. She went from offering advice to her former flame, Nick Carter, with a T-shirt that read "Don't be jealous" to a declaration of independence in the form of a giant necklace reading "Available."
Lately, she's been photographed wearing T-shirts that convey the following message: "Your boyfriend wants me."
Glad to see she got out of her breakup with her self-esteem fully intact.
There are countless other examples. Kelly Osbourne and Drew Barrymore have been photographed wearing T-shirts that say "My boyfriend is out of town."
And Victoria Beckham, aka Posh Spice, responded to tabloid reports that her cleavage was manmade by wearing a form-fitting T-shirt that said "Nice View."
I'm not a celebrity who needs to vent pent-up emotions, so I find this whole talking T-shirt thing sort of silly.
What's also silly is that fashion designers are trying to get us regular folks to join in. Stores from Dillard's to J.C. Penney's carry message T-shirts decorated with sayings like "Ben's future girlfriend," "I have issues" and "Save the drama for your mama."
Clearly, this trend is not going away anytime soon. So, like the saying goes, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em.
Later today, I'm going to have my own T-shirt printed up.
I'm thinking it will say "What's keeping this plane in the air?"
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