50 Ways Americans Handle Danger - Big Big Forums

Jolie Rouge · 03-31-2003, 12:45 AM

50> Repeat everything Danger says in an annoying, nasal-y voice.

49> Flick Danger's butt with a wet, rolled-up towel.

48> Give Danger a time-out.

47> Tell Danger those pants *do* make his butt look big.

46> Ask Danger to give me two tens for a five.

45> Volunteer to bunk with Danger in prison.

44> Show Danger's girlfriend his bare-butt baby pictures.

43> Remove Danger's mattress 'under penalty of law' tag.

42> Hit on Danger's girlfriend while he's in the can.

41> Feed Danger Ex-Lax brownies before his important sales presentation.

40> Don't tell Danger he's got a booger hanging from his nose before his job interview.

39> Flush the toilet while Danger is taking a shower.

38> Kiss Danger right on the mouth after I've had a salami sandwich with hot mustard and a big bag of Funyuns.

37> Leave a fake number and 10 dollars on Danger's nightstand in the morning.

36> Borrow Danger's hedge trimmer then never return it.

35> Eat all of Danger's Thin Mints and leave him with half a box of Lemon Pastry Cremes.

34> Go to Hawaii and only bring Danger a lousy T-shirt.

33> Record and rebroadcast Danger's games without the express written consent of Major League Baseball.

32> Scare off the pigeons while Danger is feeding them.

31> Sucker-punch Danger in front of his girlfriend and make him cry like a little girl.

30> Take 11 items into Danger's "10 items or less" supermarket line.

29> Send Danger tasteless postcards from Cancun.

28> Read the newspaper over Danger''s shoulder.

27> Look Danger full in the face without benefit of duct tape, bottled water or plastic sheeting.

26> Make sure that Danger doesn't get enough roughage.

25> Tell Danger that if Danger *really* loved me, Danger would watch "Gilmore Girls" with me every week.

24> Put butter on the popcorn even though I know Danger hates it.

23> Flirt with Danger, even though Danger shows signs of an alternative sexual orientation.

22> Reveal my love for Danger on a "Secret Crush" episode of Jenny Jones.

21> Use Danger's razor to shave my legs.

20> Pretend to be Danger's friend only to form a secret alliance with Peril and Menace to beat Danger in the next immunity challenge.

19> Disclose Danger's secure location.

18> Sell Danger's used panties to Japanese businessmen.

17> Wipe my butt on Danger's shower curtain.

16> Deliver Danger's nachos and neglect to say, "Careful -- hot plate." BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA !

15> Make Danger sleep on the wet spot.

14> Threaten Danger with patently frivolous legal action.

13> Wash Danger's white Eminem concert T-shirt in a load of brand new red flannel sheets.

12> "Danger ?? I'm soaking in it."

11> Sabotage Danger's live call-in show with a thunderous "Ba-Ba-Booey!"

10> Shuffle my feet on the carpet before I shake Danger's hand.

9> Force Danger to take me to David Arquette movies even though I have absolutely no intention of !!!!!!!!!afterwards.

8> Spit on Danger's Whopper while Danger waits patiently at the drive-through window.

7> Hide Danger's stapler.

6> Bring enough gum for everyone BUT Danger !

5> Snap a latex glove, While telling Danger to lean forward and prepare to cough.

4> ******edited*******

3> Do a pretend cough that sounds like I'm saying, "Danger sucks."

2> Toke up in the face of... hey, got any nachos?

... and Topfive.com's
Number 1 Way
Americans Handle Danger ...

1> Don't even bother suppressing my rapturous facial expression as I
pee in Danger's Jacuzzi.