Other Ways Philip Morris is "Working to Make a Difference" - Big Big Forums

Jolie Rouge · 02-22-2002, 01:02 AM

I HATE This self serving BS PR Campain....
That being said, here are a few laughs at their expense...
Some of their current ads are just as plausiable.

Virginia Slims cigarette paper now ribbed for her pleasure.

Quality programming for kids provided by new "Nick-o-Teen" cable network.

Hiring O.J. Simpson's detectives to find "the real killers" of smokers.

Launching of the Chinese "Joe Panda" campaign.

Buying up all existing copies of "The Insider" and donating them to deserving children from Borneo and Tibet.

"Marlboro Miles" can no longer be used to purchase Pokemon products.

For every 1,000 cartons sold, 1 carton donated to the American Cancer Society.

"Benson & Hedges" brand renamed to more kid-friendly "Calvin & Hobbes."

For poor people who can't afford to eat *and* smoke, free cigarette included in Kraft Macaroni & Cheese boxes.

New slogan: "Cigarettes don't kill people -- GUNS kill people!"

Considering a campaign to keep cigarettes out of the hands of pregnant mothers.

Investing millions in ad campaign: "A Big Mac?!?!? Christ, that'll REALLY kill ya!!"

Raleigh's new William Morris Park paved with tar exhumed from Yul Brynner's lungs.

* Bribes for politicians now wrapped in 100% recycled envelopes. *

... and THE Number 1 Other Way Philip Morris is "Working to Make a Difference"...

New ad campaign for 2002: "You don't have to smoke just because all the really cool kids do."

Feel free to add your own ...