How to shower like a woman/man........
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN
Take off clothing and place it in
sectioned laundry hamper
according to lights and darks.
Walk into bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
If you see your husband along the way,
cover up any exposed
areas.
Look at your womanly physique in the
mirror. Make mental
note...Must do more sit-ups.
Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm
cloth, leg cloth, long
loofah, wide loofah, and pumice stone.
Wash your hair with Cucumber Sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
Condition your hair with Grapefruit
Mint conditioner, enhanced
with natural avocado oil.
Leave on hair for fifteen minutes.
Wash your face with crushed apricot
facial scrub for ten minutes, until
red.
Wash entire rest of body with Ginger Nut and Jaffa Cake body wash.
Rinse conditioner off hair. You must make sure that it has all come off.
Shave armpits and legs.
Consider shaving bikini area, but decide to get it waxed instead.
Scream loudly when your husband flushes
the toilet and you lose
the water pressure. Turn off shower.
Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
Spray mold spots with Tilex. Get out of shower.
Dry with towel the size of a small country.
Wrap hair in super absorbent second towel.
Check entire body for the remotest sign of a zit.
Tweeze hairs.
Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
If you see your husband along the way,
cover any exposed areas, then sashay to bedroom to spend an hour and a half getting dressed.
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN
Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed.
Leave them in a pile.
Walk naked to the bathroom.
If you see your wife along the way,
shake wiener at her, making
the "woo-woo" sound.
Look at your manly physique in the
mirror and suck in your gut
to see if you have pecs. (No) Admire
the size of your wiener in the
mirror and scratch your @$$.
Get in shower.
Don't bother to look for a washcloth...You don't use one.
Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
Blow your nose in your hands, then let the water just rinse it off.
Majority of time is spent washing your privates and surrounding
area.
Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs on the soap bar.
Shampoo your hair. Do not use conditioner.
Make a shampoo Mohawk.
Peek out of shower curtain to look at yourself in the mirror again.
Pee (in the shower).
Rinse off and get out of the shower.
Fail to notice water on the floor
because you left the curtain
hanging out of the tub the whole time.
Partially dry off.
Look at yourself in the mirror. Flex
muscles. Admire the wiener
size again.
Leave shower curtain open and wet bath mat on the floor.
Leave bathroom fan and light on.
Return to the bedroom with towel around your waist.
If you pass your wife, pull off the
towel, shake wiener at her,
and make the"woo-woo" sound again.
Throw wet towel on the bed. Take 2 minutes to get dressed
__________________
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