http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2...oddler-secret/
Keeping the Gender of a 2-Year-Old Secret
By Lisa Belkin
GenderIllustration by Barry Falls Gender
During last week’s discussion of whether couples choose to learn the sex of their baby before he or she is born, a number of you said you wanted to keep the secret as long as possible, because the moment people hear “boy” or “girl” they begin to make assumptions about a child.
One couple in Sweden decided to take that logic a few steps further, and are refusing to tell anyone whether their toddler is a boy or a girl.
The child — called Pop in Swedish papers to protect his or her identity — is now two-and-a-half-years-old, and only a handful of close relatives (those who have changed the child’s diaper) know the sex. Pop’s parents, who are both 24, say they made this decision in the hope of freeing their child from the artificial construct of gender.
“We want Pop to grow up more freely and avoid being forced into a specific gender mould from the outset,” Pop’s mother told the Swedish newspaper Svenska Dagbladet last spring. “It’s cruel to bring a child into the world with a blue or pink stamp on their forehead.”
Pop wears dresses, and also “male” styled pants, and Pop’s hairstyle changes often, from traditionally feminine to traditionally masculine (and, one would imagine, to some untraditional styles now and then.)
The online Swedish newspaper, The Local, quotes Anna Nordenström, a pediatric endocrinologist at the Karolinska Institutet, who won’t even hazard a guess as to the long-term effect such an upbringing could have on a child:
“It will affect the child, but it’s hard to say if it will hurt the child,” says Nordenström, who studies hormonal influences on gender development.
“I don’t know what they are trying to achieve. It’s going to make the child different, make them very special.”
She says if Pop is still “genderless’” by the time he or she starts school, Pop will certainly receive a lot of attention from classmates.
“We don’t know exactly what determines sexual identity, but it’s not only sexual upbringing,” says Nordenström. “Gender-typical behaviour, sexual preferences and sexual identity usually go together. There are hormonal and other influences that we don’t know that will determine the gender of the child.”
Pop will soon welcome a brother, or a sister. Pop’s parents will not reveal the sex of that child, either, except, perhaps, to Pop.
Anyone else think these people are weird?I am all for letting children play with gender neutral toys,dressing how they want,etc.Not telling the sex though is just weird.I wonder if they tell pops what his/her private parts are,do they just refer to it as "it"?
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