[]Pictures of real love [/b]
By Alcestis "Cooky" Oberg
Wed Feb 14, 6:56 AM ET
Valentine's Day is supposed to celebrate love. What it really celebrates is one tiny corner of love - romance. That part bombards us. It fills our TV screens, our bookshelves, our airwaves and our culture - most of it is lame fantasy nonsense, as if there were nothing else.
In real life, love is something completely different. It's not found in the narcissism of celebrities who flit from romance to romance. Instead it abides imperceptibly in the hearts and lives of millions of people who are not famous, but whose daily actions are a poem to love. This Valentine's Day, we should reflect on those bedrock components of love that so rarely are depicted or celebrated in our culture: loyalty, commitment and devotion - lifelong, steadfast and unconditional.
Take my old neighbor, Fred Popper. He's nearly 90 and has been married to his wife Renie for 65 years. His wife has been in failing health and had a stroke some years ago. He cared for her at home until he couldn't, then moved her to a nursing facility 10 minutes away where the care is kind and the ambience is cheerful. Every day - rain, snow, sleet or shine - he drives over and feeds her dinner. It is a task he could leave to the nurses, but he wants to do it himself.
On a recent visit, I watched as he gently raised each forkful to her mouth and smiled. She cannot speak, so if she feels uncomfortable, she lets out a loud groan. I was bewildered by her anguished cry, but Fred seemed to know just what to do - in a way that transcends ordinary human communication. He'd move a leg or an arm, strategically fluff a pillow, and she would subside into serenity.
Sometimes, when one speaks to her about old times, a beatific smile will light her face: She has briefly reconnected with the life that was hers and enjoys it again.
'A commitment'
When I told Fred how touched I was by his devotion, he said simply, "We've been married 65 years. I love her. I made a commitment."
It's the kind of commitment we don't hear about much nowadays: a lifelong allegiance to honor his mate no matter what state God has chosen to visit upon her.
Commitment is a sacred word for John and Jennifer Goldberg, too. John, a family friend, has cystic fibrosis, a deadly hereditary disease that fills his lungs with mucus and deprives his organs of oxygen. He never thought marriage was an option. But he met Jennifer at a seminary when they were both in their late 20s, and she brought within reach everything he ever wanted: marriage, children, family, joy. Both counselors and people of strong faith, John and Jennifer let their hearts guide their walk through life together. Just before Christmas, Jennifer gave birth to a big, healthy son while John awaited a lung transplant - both full of hope.
In a death-dealing world, the young family finds happiness in just being together, in doing ordinary things: going to dinner with friends, laughing at the antics of the baby, dreaming about the future.
Like ordinary couples, they have their good days and not-so-good days, part of the usual rhythm of married life. It is sometimes scary for Jennifer when John has life-threatening episodes of bad health, but they seem to have an optimism and a resilience that is extraordinary. "Life has its 'test days,' " she admits. "But he's so good, so good-hearted. He does things for me even when he's feeling sick. It's amazing what one can live with - how you can find normalcy amidst the dysfunction of illness."
Divorce is not - and never has been - an option. Their profound love for one another provides context for their existence: "There's no 'me,' no 'her,' " John explains. "There is only 'us.' "
In a culture that focuses so intensely on the flings and fantasies of celebrities, I'd like to celebrate real-life love - Fred and Renie's love, John and Jennifer's love. We should toast love that is not just a feeling, but a kind of action, a way of life, even a form of being - a definition of who one is, why one exists.
Eternal love
While we may agree that the words "I love you" are the most important words in the world, the "I love you" that matters is not the kind that fades with time or adversity, but the kind that survives through thick and thin, in sickness and in health, until death - and only death - parts them. "We are none of us guaranteed any time on earth," Jennifer reflects. "Living with John for whatever time we have together is so much greater than living a life without him."
This Valentine's Day, I'm raising my best champagne glass to the real lovers of the world, the Forever Valentines. These are the people for whom "I love you" is not a fleeting infatuation but an ironclad oath and an enduring commitment: "I will love you always, no matter what." I'll cheer the couples whose bonds are so strong and so close that to consider one person alone without the other is unimaginable - as unimaginable as an existence without context, a life without meaning.
Alcestis "Cooky" Oberg lives near Houston and is a member of USA TODAY's board of contributors.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/usatoday/200...6nrGIf4dKs0NUE
celebrating "true" love
Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.** a 4 day work week & sex slaves ~ I say Tyt for PRESIDENT! 
Not to be taken internally, literally or seriously ....Suki ebaynni IS THAT BETTER ?
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