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    being a better parent ....

    Laissez les bon temps rouler! Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.** a 4 day work week & sex slaves ~ I say Tyt for PRESIDENT! Not to be taken internally, literally or seriously ....Suki ebaynni IS THAT BETTER ?

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    25 Manners Every Kid Should Know By Age 9
    Helping your child master these simple rules of etiquette will get him noticed -- for all the right reasons.
    By David Lowry, Ph.D
    .

    Your child's rude 'tude isn't always intentional. Sometimes kids just don't realize it's impolite to interrupt, pick their nose, or loudly observe that the lady walking in front of them has a large behind. And in the hustle and bustle of daily life, busy moms and dads don't always have the time to focus on etiquette. But if you reinforce these 25 must-do manners, you'll raise a polite, kind, well-liked child.-

    Manner #1

    When asking for something, say "Please."

    Manner #2

    When receiving something, say "Thank you."

    Manner #3

    Do not interrupt grown-ups who are speaking with each other unless there is an emergency. They will notice you and respond when they are finished talking.

    Manner #4

    If you do need to get somebody's attention right away, the phrase "excuse me" is the most polite way for you to enter the conversation.

    Manner #5

    When you have any doubt about doing something, ask permission first. It can save you from many hours of grief later.

    Manner #6

    The world is not interested in what you dislike. Keep negative opinions to yourself, or between you and your friends, and out of earshot of adults.

    Manner #7

    Do not comment on other people's physical characteristics unless, of course, it's to compliment them, which is always welcome.

    Manner #8

    When people ask you how you are, tell them and then ask them how they are.

    Manner #9

    When you have spent time at your friend's house, remember to thank his or her parents for having you over and for the good time you had.

    Manner #10

    Knock on closed doors -- and wait to see if there's a response -- before entering.

    Manner #11

    When you make a phone call, introduce yourself first and then ask if you can speak with the person you are calling.

    Manner #12

    Be appreciative and say "thank you" for any gift you receive. In the age of e-mail, a handwritten thank-you note can have a powerful effect.

    Manner #13

    Never use foul language in front of adults. Grown-ups already know all those words, and they find them boring and unpleasant.

    Manner #14

    Don't call people mean names.

    Manner #15

    Do not make fun of anyone for any reason. Teasing shows others you are weak, and ganging up on someone else is cruel.

    Manner #16
    Even if a play or an assembly is boring, sit through it quietly and pretend that you are interested. The performers and presenters are doing their best.

    Manner #17
    If you bump into somebody, immediately say "Excuse me."


    Manner #18
    Cover your mouth when you cough or sneeze, and don't pick your nose in public.

    Related: How to Handle Inappropriate Behavior

    Manner #19

    As you walk through a door, look to see if you can hold it open for someone else.
    Manner #20
    If you come across a parent, a teacher, or a neighbor working on something, ask if you can help. If they say "yes," do so -- you may learn something new.
    Manner #21
    When an adult asks you for a favor, do it without grumbling and with a smile.

    Related: Use this Table-Setting Map as a Guide
    Manner #22
    When someone helps you, say "thank you." That person will likely want to help you again. This is especially true with teachers!
    Manner #23
    Use eating utensils properly. If you are unsure how to do so, ask your parents to teach you or watch what adults do.

    Related: Mrs. McVeigh Weighs in on Proper Utensil Use and More!

    Manner #24

    Keep a napkin on your lap; use it to wipe your mouth when necessary.

    Manner #25

    Don't reach for things at the table; ask to have them passed.

    See more on teaching manners to your toddlers and preschoolers.

    Originally published in the March 2011 issue of Parents magazine.
    ..

    http://shine.yahoo.com/parenting/25-...9-2480238.html
    Laissez les bon temps rouler! Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.** a 4 day work week & sex slaves ~ I say Tyt for PRESIDENT! Not to be taken internally, literally or seriously ....Suki ebaynni IS THAT BETTER ?

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    Top Ten Mistakes Christian Parents of Teens Make

    It might be difficult for some parents to read through, but here’s a top ten list that I’ve been wanting to write for a while. Over the next several days I’ll be expanding on each of these in succession, but for now, here is my top ten mistakes Christian parents of teens make:

    10. Not spending time with your teen.

    A lot of parents make the mistake of not spending time with their teens because they assume their teens don’t want to spend time with them! While that’s true in some contexts, teens still want and need “chunks” of one-on-one time with parents. Despite the fact that teens are transitioning into more independence and often carry a “I don’t need/want you around” attitude, they are longing for the securing and grounding that comes from consistent quality time.

    Going for walks together, grabbing a coffee in order to “catch up,” going to the movies together, etc., all all simple investments that teens secretly want and look forward to. When you don’t carve out time to spend with your teen, you’re communicating that you’re not interested in them, and they internalize that message, consciously or unconsciously.

    9. Letting your teen’s activities take top priority for your family.

    The number of parents who wrap their lives/schedules around their teen’s activities is mind-boggling to me. I honestly just don’t get it. I know many parents want to provide their children with experiences and opportunities they never had growing up, but something’s gone wrong with our understanding of family and parenting when our teen’s wants/”needs” are allowed to overwhelm the family’s day-to-day routines.

    Parents need to prioritize investing in their relationship with God (individually and as a couple), themselves and each other, but sadly all of these are often neglected in the name of “helping the kids get ahead.” “Don’t let the youth sports cartel run your life,” says Jen singer, author of You’re A Good Mom (and Your Kids Aren’t So Bad Either). I can’t think of many good reasons why families can’t limit teens to one major sport/extra-curricular activity per season. Not only will a frenetic schedule slowly grind down your entire family of time, you’ll be teaching your teen that “the good life” is a hyper-active one. That doesn’t align itself to Jesus’ teaching as it relates to the healthy rhythms of prayer, Sabbath, and down-time, all of which are critical to the larger Christian task of “seeking first the kingdom of God and His righteousness” (Matthew 6:33).

    8. Spoiling your teen.

    We are all tempted to think that loving our kids means doing all we can to ensure they have all the opportunities and things we didn’t have growing up. This is a terrible assumption to make. It leads to an enormous amount of self-important, petty, and ungrateful kids. A lot of the time parents are well-intentioned in our spoiling, but our continual stream of money and stuff causes teens to never be satisfied and always wanting more. Your teen doesn’t need another piece of crap, what he needs is time and attention from you (that’s one expression of spoiling that actually benefits your teen!).

    There are two things that can really set you back in life if we get them too early:

    a. Access to too much money.
    b. Access to too many opportunities.

    Parents need to recognize they’re doing their teens a disservice by spoiling them in either of these ways. Save the spoiling for the grandkids.

    7. Permissive parenting.

    “Whatever” — It’s not just for teens anymore! The devil-may-care ambivalence that once defined the teenage subculture has now taken root as parents shrug their shoulders, ask, “What can you do?” and let their teens “figure things out for themselves.” I think permissive parenting (i.e., providing little direction, limits, and consequences) is on the rise because many parents don’t know how to dialogue with and discipline their children. Maybe parents don’t have any limits of boundaries within their own life, so they don’t know how to communicate the value of these to their teen. Maybe it’s because they don’t want to, because their own self-esteem is too tied up in their child’s perception of them, and they couldn’t handle having their teen get angry at them for actually trying to parent. Maybe it’s because many parents feel so overwhelmed with their own issues, they can hardly think of pouring more energy into a (potentially) taxing struggle or point of contention.

    Whatever the reason, permissive parenting is completely irreconcilable with a Christian worldview. I certainly do not advocate authoritarian parenting styles, but if we practice a permission parenting style we’re abdicating our God-given responsibility to provide guidance, nurture, limits, discipline and consequences to our teen (all of which actually help our teen flourish long-term).

    6. Trying to be your teen’s best friend.

    Your teen doesn’t need another friend (they have plenty); they need a parent. Even through their teens, your child needs a dependable, confident, godly authority figure in their life. As parents we are called to provide a relational context characterized by wisdom, protection, love, support, and empowerment. As Christian parents we’re called to bring God’s flourishing rule into our family’s life. That can’t happen if we’re busy trying to befriend our teen. Trying to be your teen’s friend actually cheats them out of having these things in their lives.

    Sometimes parents think that a strong relationship with their teen means having a strong friendship—but there’s a fine line that shouldn’t be crossed. You should be friendly to your teen but you shouldn’t be your teen’s friend. They have lots of friends, they only have one or two parents—so be the parent your teen needs you to be.

    5. Holding low expectations for your teen.

    Johann Goethe once wrote, “Treat a man as he is and he will remain as he is. Treat as man as he can and should be, and he become as he can and should be.” All of us rise to the unconcious level of expectation we set for ourselves and perceive from others. During the teenage years, it’s especially important to slowly put to death the perception that your teen is still “a kid.” They are emerging leaders, and if you engage them as such, you will find that over time, they unconsciously take on this mantle for themselves. Yes, your teen can be moody, self-absorbed, irresponsible, etc., but your teen can also be brilliant, creative, selfless, and mature. Treating them like “kids” will reinforce the former; treating them as emerging leaders will reinforce the latter.

    For an example of how the this difference in perspective plays out, I’ve written an article entitled “The Future of an Illusion” which is available as a free download from www.meredisciple.com (in the Free Downloads section). It specifically looks at my commitment to be involved in “emerging church ministry” as opposed to “youth ministry,” and it you may find some principles within it helpful.
    Laissez les bon temps rouler! Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.** a 4 day work week & sex slaves ~ I say Tyt for PRESIDENT! Not to be taken internally, literally or seriously ....Suki ebaynni IS THAT BETTER ?

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    4. Not prioritizing youth group/church involvement.

    This one is one of my personal pet peeves (but not just because this is my professional gig). I simply do not understand parents who expect and want their kids to have a dynamic, flourishing faith, and yet don’t move heaven and earth to get them connected to both a youth group and local church.

    I’m going to let everyone in on a little secret: no teenager can thrive in their faith without these two support mechanisms. I’m not saying a strong youth group and church community is all they need, but what I am saying that you can have everything else you think your teen needs, but without these two things, don’t expect to have a spiritually healthy and mature teen. Maybe there are teens out there who defy this claim, but honestly, I can’t think of one out of my own experience. As a parent, youth group and church involvement should be a non-negotiable part of your teen’s life, and that means they take priority over homework (do it the night before), sports, or any other extra-curricular commitments.

    Don’t be the parent who is soft on these two commitments, but pushes their kid in schooling, sports, etc. In general, what you sow into determines what you reap; if you want to reap a teenager who has a genuine, flourishing faith, don’t expect that to happen if you’re ok with their commitment to youth group/church to be casual and half-hearted.

    3. Outsourcing your teen’s spiritual formation.

    While youth group and church is very important, another mistake I see Christian parents make is assuming them can completely outsource the spiritual development of their child to these two things. I see the same pattern when it comes to Christian education: parents sometimes choose to send their children/teens to Christian schools, because by doing so they think they’ve done their parental duty to raise their child in a godly way.

    As a parent–and especially if you are a Christian yourself–YOU are THE key spiritual role model and mentor for your teen. And that isn’t “if you want to be” either–that’s the way it is. Ultimately, you are charged with teaching and modelling to your teen what follow Jesus means, and while church, youth groups, Christian schools can be a support to that end, they are only that: support mechanisms.

    Read Deuteronomy 6 for an overview of what God expects from parents as it relates to the spiritual nurture and development of their children. (Hint: it’s doesn’t say, “Hand them off to the youth pastor and bring them to church on Sunday.”)

    2. Not expressing genuine love and like to your teen.

    It’s sad that I have to write this one at all, but I’m convinced very few Christian parents actually express genuine love and “like” to their teen. It can become easy for parents to only see how their teen is irresponsible, failing, immature, etc., and become a harping voice instead of an encouraging, empowering one.

    Do you intentially set aside time to tell your teen how much you love and admire them? Do you write letters of encouragement to them? Do you have “date nights” where you spend time together and share with them the things you see in them that you are proud of?

    Your teen won’t ask you for it, so don’t wait for an invitation. Everyday say something encouraging to your teen that builds them up (they get enough criticism as it is!). Pray everyday for them and ask God to help you become one of the core people in your teen’s life that He uses to affirm them.

    1. Expecting your teen to have a devotion to God that you are not cultivating within yourself.

    When I talk to Christian parents, it’s obvious that they want their teen to have a thriving, dynamic, genuine, life-giving faith. What isn’t so clear, however, is whether that parent has one themselves. When it comes to the Christian faith, most of the time what we learn is caught and not taught. This means that even if you have the “right answers” as a parent, if you’re own spiritual walk with God is pathetic and stilted, your teen will unconciously follow suit. Every day you are teaching your teach (explicitely and implicitely) what discipleship to Jesus looks like “in the flesh.”

    What are they catching from you? Are you cultivating a deep and mature relationship with God personally, or is your Christian parenting style a Christianized version of “do as I say, not as I do”?

    While having a healthy and maturing discipleship walk as a parent does not garauntee your teen will follow in your footsteps, expecting your teen to have a maturing faith while you follow Jesus “from a distance” is an enormous mistake.

    You are a Christian before you are a Christian parent (or any other role). Get real with God, share your own struggles and hypocrisy with your entire family, and maybe then God will begin to use your example in a positive and powerful way.


    http://meredisciple.com/blog/2010/06...of-teens-make/
    Laissez les bon temps rouler! Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.** a 4 day work week & sex slaves ~ I say Tyt for PRESIDENT! Not to be taken internally, literally or seriously ....Suki ebaynni IS THAT BETTER ?

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    Muhammad Ali's advice to his daughters...

    Powerful!

    An incident transpired when Muhammad Ali’s daughters arrived at his home wearing clothes that were quite revealing. Here is the story as told by one of his daughters:

    “When we finally arrived, the chauffeur escorted my younger sister, Laila, and me up to my father’s suite. As usual, he was hiding behind the door waiting to scare us. We exchanged many hugs and kisses as we could possibly give in one day. My father took a good look at us. Then he sat me down on his lap and said something that I will never forget. He looked me straight in the eyes and said,
    “Hana, everything that God made valuable in the world is covered and hard to get to.
    Where do you find diamonds?
    Deep down in the ground, covered and protected.
    Where do you find pearls?
    Deep down at the bottom of the ocean,
    covered up and protected in a beautiful shell.
    Where do you find gold?
    Way down in the mine,
    covered over with layers and layers of rock.
    You've got to work hard to get to them.”

    He looked at me with serious eyes.

    “Your body is sacred.
    You’re far more precious
    than diamonds and pearls,
    and you should be covered too.”
    From the book: More Than A Hero: Muhammad Ali's Life Lessons Through His Daughter's Eyes.
    Laissez les bon temps rouler! Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.** a 4 day work week & sex slaves ~ I say Tyt for PRESIDENT! Not to be taken internally, literally or seriously ....Suki ebaynni IS THAT BETTER ?

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    Life Lessons
    20 Things My Mom Was Right About

    By Diamond · On November 18, 2013


    1. You’re only 15.

    Oh, what a simple statement, and ohhhh how I did NOT listen. When I was 15, I dated a guy that was 3 years older (may as well have been 10 years older in high school terms). He was a bad influence…. and a complete idiot. Today, he’s even more of an idiot… Or, I’m just old enough to see what my mom always saw. When I look back on my life, especially my teenage years, I’ve got to laugh. There are so many things my mom told me NOT to do, and I went right ahead and did them. Why did I not listen to my mother?

    2. Nothing good ever happens after midnight.

    In high school I remember getting angry when my mother would say, “nothing good ever happens after midnight.” Well, thinking back on it… nothing good really did happen after 12, unless I was having a sleepover with my girlfriends. Staying out late typically ended in me making bad decisions. I don’t know, maybe I’ll be making my child’s curfew… let’s say… 9pm? Ha!

    3. I just don’t like her.

    My mom liked most of my girl friends, but there were some that she just didn’t like or trust. Those girls she didn’t like, well they ended up being terrible friends! Friends that shared secrets, stole boyfriends, and backstabbed. Should have listened to mama.

    4. Don’t pierce your belly button.

    If all your friends jumped off a bridge, would you? I didn’t do this, but I wanted to SO badly. Looking back now, I sure am glad that I didn’t get a belly piercing, Every girl I know that pierced their belly button has a terrible scar now and regretted it during pregnancy. It’s like my mom knew back then that one day they would go out of style (that’s some true intuition.) Thanks mom for telling me no… time & time again, and for ruining my life, and for being SO lame… I appreciate it now.

    5. Don’t shave your arms, because you’ll never be able to stop.

    Yeah… everyone I know that shaved their arms… well, they’re still shaving their arms.

    6. Go change your clothes before you leave!

    Once I tried leaving my house in a short skirt and a shirt that showed my stomach… my mom told me to change, and I threw a hissy fit. I was 15 years old! Thank God my mom made me change. Now when I see children dressed like that I feel disgusted. They’re attracting older men, and it’s terrible… and they’re using their bodies! There is no need to show that much. My mom was definitely right.

    7. School is really important.

    Back in high school my mom always stressed education and how important it is. I remember hating her for making me study so much. However, when I moved away and started college I thanked God for the discipline my mom taught me. I learned very quickly that a night out on the town isn’t worth retaking chemistry. Everyone realizes mom was right when it’s time to apply to grad school or land a job.

    8. He doesn’t deserve you.

    She was right, he didn’t back then, and he still doesn’t.

    9. Don’t take shots.

    My mother always warned me about taking shots. I remember thinking she just didn’t know how to have fun…. until the first time my fun back-fired. I remember coming home from a party and being terribly sick in the bathroom, and thinking I was going to be in sooooo much trouble. What’s funny is, all my mom said was “I bet you won’t do that again, will you?” Guess what? I never wanted to take shots again… I learned my limit real quick.

    10. Wait.

    We want to rush everything in our youth… We think we are so ready for everything… like relationships, sex, freedom, etc… Well, we’re not. Waiting allows you to mature so you can actually make the correct decisions. A life of regret is not a life at all. There are so many consequences that come out of rushing your life along… Sometimes it’s better to enjoy the time God’s given you, instead of trying to fast forward ahead.

    11. Read your Bible.

    I remember straying so far away from God and not really knowing Him. I was bored with religion because it was all about dos and don’ts. I would always wonder how my mama stayed so close to God… Well, it’s because she read her Bible, and she understood that knowing God is not about a list of dos and don’ts. It’s about a relationship with Him. The Bible is God’s love letter to you, and it is amazing. His Word reveals truth to you, and it brings you closer to God, giving your life meaning and purpose. I wish I would have listened sooner.

    12. You won’t be able to eat like that forever.

    Ain’t that the truth! Yeah… no more queso all over those nachos or fries. Actually, no nachos or fries period.

    13. Kill them with kindness.

    Stooping down to someone’s level is easy. Remaining cool, calm, and collected takes class. My mama always said you catch more flies with honey than vinegar.

    14. Don’t visit the graveyard.

    Don’t talk to your exes…. Yeah… That’s one everyone should take note of!

    15. One day you’ll like coffee.

    Gosh, I remember I used to think it was gross. NOW IT’S AMAZING. How did I live without it? Seriously.

    16. Save your money.

    It’s no fun, but it’s really important to have financial security. Emergencies DO come up… and when you have an emergency, you don’t want to look at your closet full of dresses and shoes and wish you would have been smarter with your money. My mom always told me that, and it took me halfway through college to learn my lesson.

    17. Be on time.

    I was that kid who was always first to arrive to any birthday party, and I hated it! You don’t realize how important being on time is until you’re walking in late to a job interview, rushing to the doctors office, or speed applying makeup for a date.

    18. You’re only as good as the company you keep.

    As much as you think that the people around you won’t influence you, they always do. Mom’s right, once again.

    19. You have friends everywhere, you just haven’t met them yet.

    I remember being so sad about leaving my best friends behind and moving away. I thought my life was over. Turns out, I met some amazing women all across the South. God has always brought the most amazing friends into my life, and I feel truly blessed.

    20. Your true love is out there.

    I wasted so much of my time forcing love. I thought I could make it work with a lot of guys… Turns out, I just needed to be patient. When you meet the right guy, everything will fall into place, you won’t need to force it into place.



    End of story, my mom was right. I’m probably missing 20 other things she was right about, but that’s for another blog…
    http://diamonddiploma.com/20-things-...s-right-about/
    Laissez les bon temps rouler! Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.** a 4 day work week & sex slaves ~ I say Tyt for PRESIDENT! Not to be taken internally, literally or seriously ....Suki ebaynni IS THAT BETTER ?

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