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I'm bi-polar and more depressed than manic. It took me three years before I finally got the right dosage and mix of drugs. If your doctor cannot see you, (I am assuming that it is a psychiatrist), call and tell them that you are having suicidal thoughts and they will move your appointment up.
I know that it is dark and overwhelming to the point where there is no peace. I slept every chance I got. I mean 16 hours a day. I cried and I was suicidal. Then I would pop into a manic phase of a week where I couldn't sleep because I couldn't shut my brain off. Moving furniture at 2 am because I felt that I had to.
If you have to, sit in your doctor's reception room until he makes time for you tomorrow. You need to have your meds checked right now and don't take no for an answer. Don't assume that your doctor knows what to expect. You are the only one who knows whether or not you feel good and right now you are going down for the third time.
Fight for your mental health. You need to be heard and if you don't scream, no one will listen.
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I'd rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints.
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